I would march right down to my local travel agent right now if I knew that a dip in the Great Salt Lake would cure this butt-ugly toenail fungus. Ladies abhor me, children run in fear, even a damn stray dog won't sniff my feet. By the way, I'm a Christian Scientist and refuse to take medicine.

The spot you are looking for is the clinic in the Weilicza [made up spelling, sure it is wrong] salt mines near Krakow, Poland. It is an asthma clinic (really), but it should suit your needs quite well.

Sorry yellow toes.
There is no cure for what ails you.
It's called terminal stupidity.
Deal with it.

Just walk to the nearest health food store, I'm sure they have some non-chemical ailment (lotion) for you.

Faina, why do people like you prod these troll posters on?
Are you honestly unable to tell that these posts are only thrown into this forum to yank people's chains?
Are you really that naive?
Answering these posts seriously only encourages the morons, and makes YOU look foolish.

Thank you Faina for your response. It is only with the help of people like you that I can overcome this terrible affliction.

As for you Mr. why, could I invite you to come over and suck my toes?

I think you'll need to inquire of "larry", the Viagra vs. Mr Big Creme, poster.
He'll be more accustomed to sucking on things the size of your toes.
As for me, I'll be busy fine tuning my monkey's mullet haircut, thank you.
And posing as Steven the Italian troll.

Well if you quit missing the bowl and stop pissing on your toes you should be fine in 2-3 days.

Amputation is an alternative.
Might be a bit painful with no anesthesia. Also, infection is a risk without antibiotics.

Top of the mornin'