Could use some help
Aug 28th, 2006, 03:08 PM
#62
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My husband and I just returned from a week in Maui and stayed in Lahaina at the Plantation Inn. It is a 19 room B&B, with b-fast provided. Our room had a queen bed plus a sofa sleeper, small refrig., A/C...just great accomodations. We also had a veranda that looked out over the pool and spa. It is right in Lahaina so you can walk to all the shops and restaurants. For us it surpassed any huge resort and it was only a 2 minute drive up to Kaanapali beach. I think your 11 year old would like Lahaina. The Plantation Inn was beautiful!
Aug 29th, 2006, 05:56 AM
#63
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Marty - I found two that had studios available. However, my Mom (who is going and is not in the greatest health - she is 83, Dad is 80) would like us to stay with them in the Westin. And, I am waiting for my sister to try and work out another room there. That's where I stand right now.
Sep 1st, 2006, 09:25 AM
#65
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Kithsu,
I'm going to be the voice of dissent on this post, but I don't understand the big deal with sharing a room with your sister and DH and daughter.
Please keep in mind, I'm one of 5 girls, and I fall #4 in the lineup. I am definitely used to bossy older sisters. But, I would not give up the chance to get a FREE room in Hawaii to get away from my sister. Besides, perhaps she will be in "vacation mode" and be easier to deal with.
I see that you have booked a room, but perhaps you could just have a conversation with your sister about privacy and come up with some ground rules. Good luck, and I hope you enjoy your trip and your birthday.
I'm going to be the voice of dissent on this post, but I don't understand the big deal with sharing a room with your sister and DH and daughter.
Please keep in mind, I'm one of 5 girls, and I fall #4 in the lineup. I am definitely used to bossy older sisters. But, I would not give up the chance to get a FREE room in Hawaii to get away from my sister. Besides, perhaps she will be in "vacation mode" and be easier to deal with.
I see that you have booked a room, but perhaps you could just have a conversation with your sister about privacy and come up with some ground rules. Good luck, and I hope you enjoy your trip and your birthday.
Sep 1st, 2006, 12:57 PM
#66
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ok i didn't read that whole barrage, so maybe someone has already suggested this, but..
*perhaps* your sister could share her hotel room with your child (perhaps for a night or two) and you and your hubbie could , gasp, spend a little time with just the tow of yourselves for your birthday celebration! Ohana style is great on Maui...but the all adult leisure is deeelicious! In my experience, the Sheraton is a delight. Have fun!
*perhaps* your sister could share her hotel room with your child (perhaps for a night or two) and you and your hubbie could , gasp, spend a little time with just the tow of yourselves for your birthday celebration! Ohana style is great on Maui...but the all adult leisure is deeelicious! In my experience, the Sheraton is a delight. Have fun!
Sep 1st, 2006, 01:09 PM
#67
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Not trying to take the wind out of your sails, but this trip sounds like a nightmare.
Believe me, I have a crazy family with several controlling members. That's why I don't take trips with them.
You are spending a LOT of money to go to Maui during HIGH HIGH season. You are going to stay in the same hotel as your sister who apparently is not happy. Do you know what that means? Impromptu stops by your room, calling you all the time on your room phone, and it goes on.
Unless she's paying for your airfare we're talking about shelling out at least 4-5k for this trip. And I noticed that it's YOUR 50th birthday, but your sister is using her points to pay for a separate room for your parents and not you? That's lame.
I'm not objective since I have utter disdain for taking expensive trips with family members. That being said, I figure that life's too short to be miserable and spend a lot of money unless I'm going to have a wonderful time.
You need to take this opportunity to do what makes you happy and not feel the need to please your sister (for possible fear of great bodily harm) to you and your family's detriment.
One thing that hasn't been discussed is how your DH feels about this trip with your sister? If he is anything like my husband, he would say forget it. Does he think it's a bad idea, too?
Believe me, I have a crazy family with several controlling members. That's why I don't take trips with them.
You are spending a LOT of money to go to Maui during HIGH HIGH season. You are going to stay in the same hotel as your sister who apparently is not happy. Do you know what that means? Impromptu stops by your room, calling you all the time on your room phone, and it goes on.
Unless she's paying for your airfare we're talking about shelling out at least 4-5k for this trip. And I noticed that it's YOUR 50th birthday, but your sister is using her points to pay for a separate room for your parents and not you? That's lame.
I'm not objective since I have utter disdain for taking expensive trips with family members. That being said, I figure that life's too short to be miserable and spend a lot of money unless I'm going to have a wonderful time.
You need to take this opportunity to do what makes you happy and not feel the need to please your sister (for possible fear of great bodily harm) to you and your family's detriment.
One thing that hasn't been discussed is how your DH feels about this trip with your sister? If he is anything like my husband, he would say forget it. Does he think it's a bad idea, too?
Sep 1st, 2006, 01:10 PM
#68
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Sea_wahine your question has been asked and answered by the OP. Good thought, though.
Author: kithsu
Date: 08/22/2006, 01:51 pm
Funny thing. My sister, being the bossy type, does not get along well with my daughter - my sister is very demanding even with children. So that wouldn't work.
Author: kithsu
Date: 08/22/2006, 01:51 pm
Funny thing. My sister, being the bossy type, does not get along well with my daughter - my sister is very demanding even with children. So that wouldn't work.
Sep 1st, 2006, 01:16 PM
#69
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thanks wtm...
perhaps a suite or 2 bedroom, though I know they can be harder to find and fit in the budget.. We just finished booking our Maui trip for this year and ended up booking 2 studios one for our three family and one for the mom-in-law and her partner..after finding it difficult to find a larger place w/in the budget, however, I though this place on Napili bay looked yummy..www.napilikai.com/
perhaps a suite or 2 bedroom, though I know they can be harder to find and fit in the budget.. We just finished booking our Maui trip for this year and ended up booking 2 studios one for our three family and one for the mom-in-law and her partner..after finding it difficult to find a larger place w/in the budget, however, I though this place on Napili bay looked yummy..www.napilikai.com/
Sep 1st, 2006, 01:21 PM
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Sep 3rd, 2006, 06:45 AM
#71
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Looks very nice, however, they have no openings during that time. Thank you for trying.
And to answer a previous post, my husband is not at all excited to be going with my sister, but, then again, he is not excited at all about going to Hawaii! I think there's something wrong with him!
And to answer a previous post, my husband is not at all excited to be going with my sister, but, then again, he is not excited at all about going to Hawaii! I think there's something wrong with him!
Sep 3rd, 2006, 03:17 PM
#73
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We love the Westin Maui and have stayed there several times. WE will be there over the holidays, too. The free rooms you get with points are the smaller rooms, but there are larger rooms available. Your daughter will love staying at the Westin. They have a great water slide and lots of fun activities. It is in a great location and even a McDonalds next door at whalers Village if she needs a fast food "fix." She will love the swans and flamingoes. It is a gorgeous resort.
Sep 3rd, 2006, 04:41 PM
#75
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First, I don't think your sister is being selfish or bossy. She was able to get a free room using her points and graciously offered to let your family stay with her for free. She also put out extra points to get your parents their own room. At this point, it's your choice whether to accept her offer or book your own room. I don't really see any reason, other than kindness, for her to use her points for a separate room for your family - UNLESS this entire trip was her idea and birthday gift to you. Also, as a single woman with no children, it's going to be harder on your sister to share the room than it is for you.
Having said that, you insinuated that your husband doesn't really want to stay with your sister - for that reason alone, I would spend the money on your own room/condo/etc. Otherwise you're going to listen to him the entire trip.
You may also try to talk your daughter into spending at least one day and night with your sister. This is a great opportunity for them to develop a better relationship. Suggest to your sister some places/activities your daughter would like to go/see and that your sister would be interested in also. Then let them go. Be sure to offer the cost for the activity for your daughter (your sister shouldn't be expected to pay for your family's activities, but if you offer her the money, she may be nice and say don't bother). It will also allow your husband and you to have a little one on one time.
Having said that, you insinuated that your husband doesn't really want to stay with your sister - for that reason alone, I would spend the money on your own room/condo/etc. Otherwise you're going to listen to him the entire trip.
You may also try to talk your daughter into spending at least one day and night with your sister. This is a great opportunity for them to develop a better relationship. Suggest to your sister some places/activities your daughter would like to go/see and that your sister would be interested in also. Then let them go. Be sure to offer the cost for the activity for your daughter (your sister shouldn't be expected to pay for your family's activities, but if you offer her the money, she may be nice and say don't bother). It will also allow your husband and you to have a little one on one time.
Sep 4th, 2006, 04:29 PM
#77
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Sea_wahine, nope not her sister, but I do have a younger sister who expects me to pick up the tab for her and her children (although her husband makes more than twice the salary that I do) more often than not because I am single and "don't have a real life." So I guess I'm seeing this from a bit of a different angle. And, no I'm not suggesting that the OP is greedy like my sister, but I do think that it's not necessarily a situation where her sister is just being a selfish pig.
In addition, other responders have posted with the assumption that the sister was in charge of the travel arrangements, and I'm not so sure that was the case.
In addition, other responders have posted with the assumption that the sister was in charge of the travel arrangements, and I'm not so sure that was the case.
Sep 4th, 2006, 04:43 PM
#78
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Is this debate still raging?
For all involved, whoever you may be, will you really be spending that much time in the room together?
Didn't you say somewhere on here that you each have a bedroom?
As someone who just lost her 81 yo dear father, if your parents want you to all stay together, bite the bullet, and grin and bear it. They will not be with you forever, and it's unlikely they'll make another trip to Hawaii. You, dh, and dd can go back another time for the trip of your dreams. If you cannot bear to stay more than a couple of nights with ds, then change your flight home to come back sooner.
As I see it now-since you've provided more info-this trip with your aging parents shouldn't be about your sister or you.
If you must have your own special birthday trip, then don't go with them. Make an excuse and back out. If your parents have asked you to all stay together, how can you go and NOT stay with your aging parents? That would be harder for me than dealing with my TWO older, bossy sisters. Have you asked yourself how you'd feel about NOT taking this trip if you'd just lost your parents?
For all involved, whoever you may be, will you really be spending that much time in the room together?
Didn't you say somewhere on here that you each have a bedroom?
As someone who just lost her 81 yo dear father, if your parents want you to all stay together, bite the bullet, and grin and bear it. They will not be with you forever, and it's unlikely they'll make another trip to Hawaii. You, dh, and dd can go back another time for the trip of your dreams. If you cannot bear to stay more than a couple of nights with ds, then change your flight home to come back sooner.
As I see it now-since you've provided more info-this trip with your aging parents shouldn't be about your sister or you.
If you must have your own special birthday trip, then don't go with them. Make an excuse and back out. If your parents have asked you to all stay together, how can you go and NOT stay with your aging parents? That would be harder for me than dealing with my TWO older, bossy sisters. Have you asked yourself how you'd feel about NOT taking this trip if you'd just lost your parents?
Sep 4th, 2006, 05:15 PM
#79
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Or stay for the beginning of the trip with your sister which will be in the hotel where your parents will also be staying and get a hotel room of your own for the last couple of nights?
This has gotten me so confused, lol. Is there some reason you can't rent a hotel room at the hotel where the rest of the family will be staying so that you and your husband and daughter will have some privacy? I do think 4 people using one bathroom would be a bit unrelaxing no matter how well everyone got along. But that is just my thinking. Maybe I missed something, but if you can afford a hotel room somewhere else can you afford a hotel room of your own at the Westin? It seems to me that would be a "win, win" situation, well except for the fact your husband isn't enthused about even going to Hawaii.
Sooo, here is another thought. Your birthday is December 29th. Have a wonderful birthday celebration with your husband on the 29th (your actual birthday) and than you and your daughter go to Hawaii on the 30th and let your husband stay home. That way it would be you and your sister and your daughter sharing your sister's hotel room. And maybe your parents would enjoy having their two daughters and granddaughter to themselves. Just some further thoughts for whatever they are worth.
This has gotten me so confused, lol. Is there some reason you can't rent a hotel room at the hotel where the rest of the family will be staying so that you and your husband and daughter will have some privacy? I do think 4 people using one bathroom would be a bit unrelaxing no matter how well everyone got along. But that is just my thinking. Maybe I missed something, but if you can afford a hotel room somewhere else can you afford a hotel room of your own at the Westin? It seems to me that would be a "win, win" situation, well except for the fact your husband isn't enthused about even going to Hawaii.
Sooo, here is another thought. Your birthday is December 29th. Have a wonderful birthday celebration with your husband on the 29th (your actual birthday) and than you and your daughter go to Hawaii on the 30th and let your husband stay home. That way it would be you and your sister and your daughter sharing your sister's hotel room. And maybe your parents would enjoy having their two daughters and granddaughter to themselves. Just some further thoughts for whatever they are worth.
Sep 4th, 2006, 05:27 PM
#80
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LoveItaly,
The OP said in the beginning that she could get a room at the Westin for just over $3000. Her dilemna is spending $3000 for a room for her family or having $3000 extra dollars and bunking with her sister.
The suggestion of letting the husband stay home is a good one. If he doesn't want to be there at all, he may be more of a hinderance than an asset. And it would give the parents some quality time with their girls.
Then the OP could save the $3000 on the hotel room and use it later for another vacation that her husband would want to do.
The OP said in the beginning that she could get a room at the Westin for just over $3000. Her dilemna is spending $3000 for a room for her family or having $3000 extra dollars and bunking with her sister.
The suggestion of letting the husband stay home is a good one. If he doesn't want to be there at all, he may be more of a hinderance than an asset. And it would give the parents some quality time with their girls.
Then the OP could save the $3000 on the hotel room and use it later for another vacation that her husband would want to do.
