Bar Mitzvah question
Apr 27th, 2006, 12:45 PM
#41
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You and your son will enjoy the service, but you may not be able to sit together. There is likely to ba some sort of separation of men and women. However, it may be as simple as a sheer curtain and you could sit on either sides of the curtain. You should also know that even if one is not invited to the "Bar Mitzvah," the servicce is a normal, usual service and open to all. It is not insulting to the family to attend if you are not invited. It would be insulting to show up for the party as an uninvited guest. It is also rude to attend the party but not the service since the Bar Mitzvah is really what it is all about.
The dress will be varied. Adults will wear sports coats, suits, cocktail dresses and similar. The girls will wear gorgeous dresses and shoes. The shoes will disappear and be replaced with white socks when the dancing begins, The boys will wear khaki pants, shirts, and ties. The ties will disappear quickly. There will be a few boys wearing their own Bar Mitzvah suits, and their ties and jackets will also disappear quickly.
As for gifts, I prefer to give actual gifts than money. Many years later, I still remember (and even have) some of the gifts I received as a Bat Mitzvah. I once heard of the parents using the money the Bar Mitzvah child received to pay for the party and ever since then, I only give gift cards,
We have attended several Bar/Bat Mitzvahs in Toronto over the past few years, as well as having guests from Toronto attend our childrens Bar Mitzvahs. The gifts exhanged were in the neighborhood of $100-150 if the entire family was invited, and $25-50 if only a child was invited. The Double Chai ($36.00) is ideal. The family will appreciate that you learned enough about their religion to make your gift significant in that sense. Another nice fgift for a Bar MItzvah is a Tzedakah Box. Tzedekah is charity. Many Jewish homes will have one where loose change is put and then given to charity. It looks like a bank, but will have a Jewish theme to it. A Hanukah menorah is another thoughtful gift. There are several stores in Toronto that sell Judaic items and many synagogues have gift shopes where you could purchase these things. Also, a Judaic store could give you some gift buying tips and may even be familiar with the synagogue you will be going to.
Enjoy the experience. Go hungry. There will be lots of food and drink.
The dress will be varied. Adults will wear sports coats, suits, cocktail dresses and similar. The girls will wear gorgeous dresses and shoes. The shoes will disappear and be replaced with white socks when the dancing begins, The boys will wear khaki pants, shirts, and ties. The ties will disappear quickly. There will be a few boys wearing their own Bar Mitzvah suits, and their ties and jackets will also disappear quickly.
As for gifts, I prefer to give actual gifts than money. Many years later, I still remember (and even have) some of the gifts I received as a Bat Mitzvah. I once heard of the parents using the money the Bar Mitzvah child received to pay for the party and ever since then, I only give gift cards,
We have attended several Bar/Bat Mitzvahs in Toronto over the past few years, as well as having guests from Toronto attend our childrens Bar Mitzvahs. The gifts exhanged were in the neighborhood of $100-150 if the entire family was invited, and $25-50 if only a child was invited. The Double Chai ($36.00) is ideal. The family will appreciate that you learned enough about their religion to make your gift significant in that sense. Another nice fgift for a Bar MItzvah is a Tzedakah Box. Tzedekah is charity. Many Jewish homes will have one where loose change is put and then given to charity. It looks like a bank, but will have a Jewish theme to it. A Hanukah menorah is another thoughtful gift. There are several stores in Toronto that sell Judaic items and many synagogues have gift shopes where you could purchase these things. Also, a Judaic store could give you some gift buying tips and may even be familiar with the synagogue you will be going to.
Enjoy the experience. Go hungry. There will be lots of food and drink.
Apr 27th, 2006, 01:09 PM
#42
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Since it is an Orthodox Bar Mitzvah, your son should give his friend his gift a day or two before.
Every time I've gone to an Orthodox Bar Mitzvah, I've seen the Bar Mitzvah politely refuse to accept gifts because it was the Sabbath.
Every time I've gone to an Orthodox Bar Mitzvah, I've seen the Bar Mitzvah politely refuse to accept gifts because it was the Sabbath.
