nicenancy

We have four kids - and we have always taken at least a week's vacation without them every year. No guilt - and our kids are really happy and secure that they have parents who are still "honeymooning" - though they snicker about it now that they are teens (and no, I wouldn't leave them without great adult supervision - the teens will give you more heartache than the toddlers!) One fun thing I started for the girls was a charm bracelet - and every time I come home, I bring a special charm... a gondola from Italy, a sailboat from Tahiti, a sting ray from Cayman.. Teddy Bear, you got it right - we need to remeber that when they are grown, we still have each other! P.S. I do miss them - but I get over it!

puddin

Right on Teddy Bear and nicenancy...I just love it when people agree with me!! Frankly, I don't think the age of the child matters....whether a younger or older child, I think a parent will have a certain amount of guilt initially, but then, as someone said, you get over it. I don't want to look at my husband in 20 years and say "Who the hell are you? Haven't seen you since the alter!" No, thanks. I love my son dearly and can't imagine life without him, but if the marriage doesn't stay happy, the kids won't be either. IMHO, that is.

4khansen

The only time I feel guilty is when I return home and they are still on vacation.

gocats2002

The first time is the hardest. After that, you'll realize your daughter had a vacation, too! Now when our kids go to summer camp, my husband and I feel like we're on vacation. Our daughter wrote a sweet letter from camp telling of all the fun she was having, and adding, guiltily, that she hoped we were having fun, too.

Enjoy!

songbird

I am wondering who people leave their kids with. Both husband and I come from small families, our siblings have a difficult time caring for themselves, our kids have no cousins, and our parents are too elderly (everyone had kids later in life on both sides of family). Would have to farm kids out to family friends and likely separate them from each other. This could be why we have only taken 3 non-kid vacations in years.

puddin

My husband and I left our son with his (my husband's) mother. We are very lucky; she was up to it and didn't mind. I would not be so lucky on my side of the family.

Binthair

My grandparents used to take care of us while my parents vacationed. Our parents have never seem interested, but are always happy to point out how fun it is when our kids cause us consternation.

Luzianne

To me it would depend on the kid and the age. I would have a harder time leaving a baby/toddler/preschooler than an older child.

I've never been away from them for more than a couple of days and I always felt better that they had each other (I have three). I don't know how I would feel if it were just one - again, I guess it would depend on the age and the child.

When my son was barely 5 DH and I used to go to pro football games many Sundays and it broke my heart for the babysitter to tell me he cried and cried and when she asked what was wrong he said "I just miss my mommy."

Romy

Thankfully, my parents never left me with "family" but that's a whole other show.... I always stayed with close friends of the family who had kids my age and I always had a ball! I was an only child and it was a vacation for me to spend it with them. The only time I was pissed was when they went to Hawaii without me! Go and have a great time and bring back something special, not to mention your memories!

jersey

We have five children and my husband and I began leaving them for long weekends away (once a year) when my youngest was a one year old. It was not only a huge break for us but a terrific boon to our marriage. Our children are very close in age and we are very involved parents. Do I feel guilty leaving them while I vacation? Not even the tiniest bit. Do I miss them? With every piece of my heart. But I also realize that before them there was just my most beloved hubby and myself. And now that my eldest is 21 and my youngest 14, I congratulate myself for giving my husband and myself the gift of time alone. Buckeyemom, good parenting is not just spending time with your child/ren, its showing them how loving adults(parents) interact with each other. There is no problem with missing her, thats natural. Have a terrific time, bring back little gifts, and know that (as someone else mentioned) your caring for your marriage is only showing your love for your whole family.

Austin

I think buckeyemom was just sharing, and curious if others felt the same. She never said she wasn't going to go, there was no whining, only looking for a bit of support. I think it was a good question.

smileworld

Am I the only one who was glad to see parents drive off and leave the house to me and my friends? I certainly hope they didn't spend their vacation feeling guilty - lol, we had a ball. I really think parents need a vacation - I encouraged mine to go and to do so often. I think it made us all feel happier, gt;.

cd

Now that our daughter is grown with children of her own, I KNOW how she loved us leaving for a vacation without her. She tells us of all the many parties! One with 150 seniors in attendance. Still cannot believe the neighbors never told us.

buttercup

I don't feel guilty, but I miss them. However, they've been staying a few nights with grandparents every summer and Christmas break since they were toddlers, so they have a comfortable place to go when we go for the weekend.

We've never gone more than a long weekend. You do get a different vacation without them. We've done New Orleans both with kids and without, and its like visiting two different cities.

Luzianne

I for one am not a "stay at home mom." I am a business owner who happens to run my business from home.

But aren't the opinions of stay at home moms valid? Do you mean stay at home moms are protective/overprotective, or what? Not wanting to argue, just don't quite understand what was meant by that.

doc_

I have been watching this thread for a couple days knowing it would turn into a slugfest,but heres my $.02.

People should feel blessed that they have the means to travel and have someone they trust to watch their kids. I'm sure all the single working parents(yes,dads included) who often work more than one job need to leave the kids with friends or family every day. they think nothing of it as survival.

Most of us who travel alot will never understand this because we may be in a totally different socio-economic status.

But to me,it would be no big deal since I would only leave them with someone I would trust. So there would be no guilt,just fun in the sun.;-)

dln

Luzianne, you just tugged at my heartstrings big time! We have just two short years before our eldest (son) flies the coop. Our 14 year old daughter is such a social butterfly that we're always missing her anyway--she's so hard to pin down! I wonder about this, however: when we leave our kids behind for a week of vacation we feel tons of motherly anguish for at least a little bit, but when our kids become teens and leave us first for college and then for life, do they feel the same feelings for us (for at least a little bit)?

$#%$^%#%$ kids better!

cd

dln
I have a theory about that. I think parents love their children more than children love their parents. Not that that's wrong, I think it's just the way it is. Look at yourself. Timewise, do YOU want to spend more time with your parents or with your children? Moneywise, do you spend more on your parent's gifts or your children's gifts? When you're away from home, do you miss your parents or your children more? That is how it will be with your children once they have children of their own. I know our children love us a lot because they really enjoy spending time with us but their kids come first with their time, thoughts and energy. And that's the way it should be. So, that is why I say, parents love their children more then children love their parents. They do leave us for their own life.

uuhhhh

"when we leave our kids behind for a week of vacation we feel tons of motherly anguish...."

is this one of those "tommy has two mommies" deals?

Luzianne

Hey, what happened to my post?????