tashak

I LOVE travelling solo. Anything else is a compromise. Solo travellers aren't involved with each other, so they learn more about other people and places.

My motto (and advice) is : Be prepared (to be safe and self-sufficient)...then stop worrying and enjoy.

To avoid unwanted contact: sunglasses are invaluable. People don't know if you are looking at them or not, so it's an easy way to avoid eye contact.

To avoid unwanted attention, I also invoke the "boyfriend"/fiance/ husband who will soon be joining me (in minutes...or later in the trip, depending on circumstances).

Lea_Lane

Hi Tashak,
Not only do I invoke the imaginary husband about to come over, I name him "Big Bubba," or some tough name.
Lea

suze

Since I'm being such a pest to Lea, I can't help but add to this thread too...

The imaginary husband only works when you are moving fairly quickly from place to place. If you are in one location for a period of time, believe me, people know you are traveling on your own.

After maybe two weeks at a town in Mexico, the guy on the street who I told in my bad spanish several times that my husband was at the hotel, finally said to me in perfect English one afternoon "Funny I have never seen him."

I have never used the fake wedding ring, and after the single experience above find I am more comfortable either telling the truth or giving no explanation to my situation.

Lea_Lane

Hi Suze,
You could have told the man that your husband stays in his room, polishing his gun!
gt

enjoylife

I always dress down when I travel, so as not to draw attention to myself.
I wear no jewelry.

I pack light -- pants and shirts can be reworn.

I leave a copy of my itinerary with friends or family in case of an emergency.

sakana

Wow-- I'm a little alarmed by the horror with which you guys responded to the "no make-up, hair up" plan, since that's how I dress most of the time, traveling or not...

Anyway, my tip would be RELAX. The most important thing for me in learning to love solo travel has been letting go of my natural need for order and schedule. My last trip (a month in Portugal) was filled with unplanned encounters, meals, and people I'd never have met if I hadn't learned to let go of my everyday neuroses.

Also, I echo the "travel light" tip-- I take only a backpack and a small carry-on no matter where I'm going and how long the trip is. I may get sick of my clothes, but I never have to check anything, and managing trains and buses is a dream.

suze

sakana, truly it wasn't horror, but the places i travel (granted not extreme or adventure destinations) i dress the same as i do at home (which includes a small amount of make up, nice hair, decent clothes).

travelbug014

I am a single lady and love traveling solo. recently I travelled in Hawaii, and rocked. I feel the most important thing for me is to show off that I really belong there - I mean I was not pushed into being there because of fate or whatever. I should act like I know what I am doing and not feel sorry for being solo, if I happen to strike on conservation. That approach worked in Hawaii (of course it came to naturally there). Most of the people only said "oh, how nice you are on your own. you need not wait for anyone". The only one time somebody asked about my "husband" I replied confidently that I don't have one. Of course, I had already noticed that he was with his wife and possibly could do no harm (I had requested him to take a picture of me). He was simply perplexed that a lady could travel alone. He replied "oh, you are lucky!!!". I asked "so do you mean to say your wife is unlucky?" . He was taken aback and said "oh , you are funny" and composed himself. Sometimes being confident wards off people. but always, beware of surroundings and trust your instincts, as the author says.

gems

No "horror" here either.

No make-up and a baseball cap is fine, if that's what you want (and I sometimes do too), but I don't see any reason - unless you're seriously scared - to "get ugly" and make fake cold sores. I think everyone - not just Romeos - would be put off by that approach. Anyway, I like to look nice for myself as well as others and, while I adjust my style to my environment, I don't worry much about attracting male attention. Most of it's benign. At least, while I have invoked a real/fictional male s.o. as an excuse (an easy out for everyone involved), I haven't used my kickboxing skills yet.

Gems

RobinBinNYC

Hi,
My big concern when travelling alone is safety (it's ingrained in me, having grown up in Brooklyn). I always ensure that my accommodations are booked in a relatively "safe" part of the city, that lights are not turned off at night (I checked out of one hostel that turned off the lights in the hallway by 10:00pm), and I try to walk with "attitude" I try to give off that I'm confident, strong, and very aware of my surroundings. I'm trying to think of other tips...

Grasshopper

It occurred to me through all of this, that we may actually be safer or less of a target anyway, since we are solo. I am betting that being on our own like this makes us appear to be less "tourists" and more "locals". What do you all think?

suze

grasshopper, I absolutely agree!!!

i think one key is that we are in fact alone so until we speak could be from anywhere. especially if you happen to have a reasonable sense of fashion in your every day dress, that helps too. throw in that i'm often toting a sack from the bakery, corner store, or supermarket furthers "the disguise". i know it works for me because OFTEN locals speak to me in French, usually other women, when we're standing side by side at a stop light waiting to cross, or in the line at the cashier of said grocery store, for example.

i think two people draw attention to themselves, without realizing it, just because they are speaking English to each other. chatting away, sometime kind of loudly, in public.

Scarlett

Would that apply to evenings also? I think you tend to see more couples out and about in the evenings, while ladies are often on their own during the day.
But then, traveling alone must leave more possibilities for a single traveler to meet others too, no? I know my friends who travel solo and my son and daughter, often meet people along the way, sometimes eating together or sharing cars etc.
*I know I am not a "soloist" now but I was , once upon a time and it never stopped me from going places!*

cambe

I have travelled solo for several years to various countries and I love it!! I have never dressed down or had a picnic in my hotel room but I have been quite rude to unwanted attention. I find walking past admiring males on the street without speaking, continually saying 'no thank you', gets the message. As Lea has already said, take a book with you to a restaurant.
What I like most about travelling solo is being able to do what I want when I want.
If you have the confidence to go abroad on your own, to discover new and exciting adventures, go for it.
When I come home from my adventures my friends all call me up to find out what I did and many are envious that they don't have the confidence to do as I do.
I have always found company from many different people on my travels but be careful, on one occasion I was talking to a family with 2 children and the lady's husband asked me if I would accompany his wife on my various adventures - I ended up baby sitting her,however that is rare. Sorry about this long reply in what should have been a one line answer - just have the confidence to do it, pick your destination carefully and you will love it!!

Edward2005

Pack light.

Here's the travel trifecta: Travel Happy, Travel Heavy, Travel Cheap.

You can do any two but not all three.

zbjoon

Grasshopper, I have experienced being mistaken for a local in several countries but not all. I’d never attributed that to traveling on my own. Interesting point though. I always thought it has to do more with if you physically look like a local, what you are carrying(a purse or a camera case), and how you are dressed.

Grasshopper

Until I speak, I am frequently addressed in the local language. And even after speaking many people ask if I'm British. I guess all English sounds the same to someone in Croatia or Slovenia?

jbn19431938

Am newly retired male, wife still working, and very interested in solo travel, expecially in England. Would appreciate any tips. Especially reasons I can give my wife for wanting to do this crazy thing.

Lea, read your book, excellent!

However, most of what I saw in your excellent book, and in the postings here, deals with women of less than my "certain age." How about some hints for old fart guys like me not interested in or bothered by unwanted attention from other genders?

Grasshopper

JBN, that's pretty funny. I guess, as a woman, I've never thought much about solo travel being a challenge for a man. The men I know all do quite a lot of business travel and that really takes the fear out of the details and specifics.

But how to fend off unwanted attention? I guess my advice would be the same as it would for a woman; First time, a nice thanks, I'm flattered but not available/interested. Second time, a stern "no". From there on, refuse to acknowledge the person.

As for coming up with justification to travel while your wife stays home and works, you're on your own! Only you are inside your marraige. Good luck.

suze

jbn, ask your wife maybe she'd enjoy some time alone at home. seriously, have you talked to her about this yet? tried out the idea of you taking a trip on your own? that's be the place to start, IMO.