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-   -   Lea here--what's the one very, very, very best tip you can give for soloing? (https://www.fodors.com/community/travel-tips-and-trip-ideas/lea-here-whats-the-one-very-very-very-best-tip-you-can-give-for-soloing-513349/)

Lea_Lane Mar 17th, 2005 07:17 AM

Lea here--what's the one very, very, very best tip you can give for soloing?
 
Mine would be trust your gut. What's yours?
Lea

Lea_Lane Mar 17th, 2005 08:01 AM

Sorry for the above repeat. Since I gave an inadvertant second tip, I'll give a real one:
Be open to possibilities!
Would love to hear ones from you soloists....
Lea

eedwards Mar 17th, 2005 08:36 AM

I never carry a purse. I have a nice all weather jacket with a zippered inside pocket (where I carry cash and credit card) and it has several outside pockets for camera, glasses, etc.) I have a small umbrella that will actually fit in my back pants pocket on the days I wear jeans and have a need for an umbrella. I always go to the dollar store and buy a couple cheap plastic ponchos. They are great for the misty days and are so small you can carry for an impromtu picnic lunch (use as a ground cover).

suze Mar 17th, 2005 09:11 AM

Have your paperwork and money sources in order.

Lea_Lane Mar 17th, 2005 09:25 AM

Thanks eedwards and suze!
It's nice to create a list of these super-useful tips so that soloists can collect them.
I notice I didn't repeat anything above, but I'm glad I gave two tips anyway. If you guys want to offer more than one, please put them in separate postings so we can have a really clean list.
Thanks!
Lea

Chelle1028 Mar 17th, 2005 10:13 AM

I am traveling for the first time by myself to Peurto Rico. I have traveled in the states (although Puerto Rico is the US....it definitely has a different flavor to it). I am nervous about traveling alone. I am simply tired of being afraid to step out and try new things. Do you guys have any tips for me? I leave Saturday to go on my trip.

suze Mar 17th, 2005 11:21 AM

Pack light!!!! no more than 2 pieces (1 medium suitcase/backpack/duffle + 1 tote/purse/daypack) that you can *easily* manage.

This is for your own comfort but I also believe it is a safety tip (particularly a solo female struggling with unwieldy & multiple suitcases could make a tempting target when compared to someone who looks alert, mobile, and in control). Constantly having to ask for help with your bags may put you in a situation better avoided or theft due to you not being able to keep an eye on it all.

Lea_Lane Mar 17th, 2005 11:27 AM

Congratulations Chelle. This thread is about tips, so here's another. Any time you try something new there is a challenge. But just remember, you do not have to be by yourself. If you wish, you can find day trips almost anywhere, and that will get you with others. If you don't go that route, just ask questions, smile, talk, project confidence, bring props.
Some areas are easier than others. The Caribbean is not usually that easy for soloists--it's a couples-oriented environment. But Puerto Rico is big enough to offer many options--caves, beaches, history, architecture---and you can find tours which focus on many of these activities. So to I'd budget this in if you feel lonely.
As for the nights, again, you are choosing a couples-oriented place. So I'd eat at local cafes, or at fast food restaurants, or picnic in my room. And I'd make my evenings absolutely delightful. I'd pamper myself with massages, bubble baths, a trashy book you wouldn't otherwise read, movies on the TV you wouldn't otherwise watch. I'm not the type to hang around bars, but there are lots of local singles in PR. Your call. Just be really careful in the romance department. It's hard enough stateside!
Go to Travel Wire and read my interview. And if you go to Amazon right now you can get my book, Solo Traveler, by tomorrow. It will be a great companion, I think.
Once you're there, and you're busy (keep a book or journal with you all the time), you'll relax. And let us know how it goes.
All the best,
Lea

Grasshopper Mar 17th, 2005 01:02 PM

As much as I want to stay in your room at night and eat in, I always force myself to go out. As a result, I nearly always have an adventure of some sort.

Bring a journal. A book makes you unapproachable. A journal doesn't somehow. Write about your experiences and observations for the day. If you can't think of anything else, write about your progress as a single traveler.

When you really feel the need to be part of a group, join a city walk (ie London Walks) or take a day excursion.

OK, that was three tips. But those are the things that make me feel best about my solo travel adventures.

Lea_Lane Mar 17th, 2005 02:19 PM

Hi Grasshopper,
Three good tips are better than one.
I like to bring a language phrasebook when I eat out solo. It's small, and while I sit and wait for the food, I'm learning some of the language. Win, win.
Lea

tigerhawk Mar 18th, 2005 12:04 PM

As a solo female traveler, I have occasionally had to deal with unwanted attention from local males on my travels. The best tip I ever figured out is when this happens, seek out the company of an older couple. They are thrilled to help you, and you don't feel like you are "intruding" into a younger couple's romantic dinner. These older couples also are often well-traveled and have lots of great suggestions for future trips. An older solo woman is also a great option. I remember one particularly lovely lady in the laundry room of a cruise ship who shared a glass of wine with me, waiting out a persistent cabin steward. When he finally left, I thanked her for staying with me, and she said she had had no intention of leaving me alone until the guy had gone - she could just tell he was pursuing me. It was a great afternoon.

Lea_Lane Mar 18th, 2005 12:40 PM

Hi Tigerhawk,
Even if you are so beautiful you have to wear a mask and a body suit to get ugly, you can do it. To avoid attention, dress down, tuck your hair under a cap, wear no makeup. I know someone who used eyeliner to create a cold sore on her lip! A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!
Lea

gems Mar 18th, 2005 02:23 PM

Wow! These are drastic measures.
Lea, you're not serious, are you? Don't you like to dress up as a diva?

Personally, I would get depressed if I had to look bad, so I prefer to just deal with the attention (and ask for help if necessary, as Tigerlily did) as I would at home. Most guys will take no for an answer. Besides, if you dress poorly, you'll probably receive worse service and treatment by everyone. Of course, it's probably better not to be flashy, unless you want attention, but there's no reason you can't always look nice.

A useful accessory may be a wedding ring, whether you're married or not, although I know some guys don't care and others prefer married women.

Gems

suze Mar 18th, 2005 03:57 PM

Lea_Lane that is crazy advice. Do you really travel yourself like that? No makeup and a cap?

As has been mentioned on other threads elsewhere on Fodors when the topic of hot pursuit (hassassment) comes up, don't worry ladies all, you too will get older and then everyone will leave you alone. Trust me, it's true.

suze Mar 18th, 2005 03:58 PM

oops "harrassment"

Lea_Lane Mar 18th, 2005 06:10 PM

Hi Suze,
Yes, I've traveled like that! In some situations, I have not worn makeup and kept my hair wrapped up and have not been bothered less than I would have been. When I'm on my own I do exactly what I want--lots of makeup, or none. Depends.
And yes, as I've gotten older, age has made it a lot easier in that department. But I still sometimes get hassled, expecially in Med countries (if you're a female mammal, you'll get attention in certain southern Italian piazzas). Just giving tips that have worked...take 'em or leave 'em in good spirits.
Lea

mitty Mar 18th, 2005 08:37 PM

learn people' s names. especially the locals of wherever you are, walk in, call them by name and you will be treated like an old friend

Binkieloo Mar 19th, 2005 10:28 AM

I'm also a single female traveller. I have done about 4 countries on my own, and a few with family and friends.

I remember being told to dress "SFU" - Suitable for Upgrade - whenever I fly. It's only worked once, but it was really great to get that luxury. Free upgrade on the flight, mostly because I looked like I fitted in!

Also what ever you do have luggage with wheels. I once made this mistake and it cost me a lot of sight seeing 'cos I was so tired and sore. (It was a long walk from the tube to my hostel)

Personally I'd choose to go solo every time as I love the ability to choose my own schedule and never having to wait for anyone else!


zbjoon Mar 19th, 2005 01:08 PM

I go out of my way not to invite attention when I travel alone. I’d like to get respect but not attention. Seems there is some discussion on what people wear. I always wear clean, somewhat new, ironed casual travel clothes. But I refrain from wearing make up or prettifying myself in any way. I make sure that I am not showing much skin and do not wear tight clothes. I do not necessarily choose travel clothes that are flattering but just practical and comfortable. If the occasion calls for being better dressed, I follow that. I think you want to also know your destination country. In some countries even showing your bare arms can be considered provocative. I cover mine up as soon as the plane lands. I do not wear jewelry except an inexpensive watch or some inexpensive local jewelry. I make sure I never have eye contact with anyone. My experience has been that regardless of what you do someone still notices you but you can drop the rate quite a lot by not inviting attention. I think if you do not look particularly attractive and also do not look like having a lot on you, the criminals will hopefully look for a better prey and will not waste their time with you.

I also think it is important to stay alert and never compromise safety for any type of sightseeing activity. It is really not worth it. If I don’t feel safe, I find a safe way to do the activity or just simply write it off.

Lea_Lane Mar 19th, 2005 01:49 PM

Great tips. The eye contact thing is really true. On the other hand, when you WANT to meet people, eye contact and a smile work wonders.
Yes, safety trumps everything else. Trust your instincts. If people want to go hang gliding and you don't, but you don't want to offend them, you still shouldn't do it. "No way" is a phrase I sometimes use. (Just not all the time!)
Lea


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