My family is in the midst of planning our next trip, which happens to be in a poor part of Central America. We've discovered that it is customary for travelers to this area to bring along school supplies, medical supplies, or other items to give to the local children and clinic. <BR> <BR>This got us thinking, and turned into a lengthy, and continuing family discussion about our travels. We have traveled considerably over the years for ourselves. We have researched and planned - which restaurant will we like the best, what is the best hotel, how can we avoid getting cheated, will we be safe, what are the best things for us to see, etc. <BR> <BR>Not once, up to now, have we asked ourselves if there is any benefit that we can offer through our travels. Now this issue has become one of hot discussion in our family, and is included in our giving policy. <BR> <BR>These are some of the things we hope to do. My eldest son is very much into computer designed art. He is going to clean up one of our older computers that no one uses, load several basic art and design programs, and figure out how to make it usable by people who speak Spanish (e.g., different keyboard?) We will bring it with us, and he will spend a day at the school, teaching the teachers how to use it. <BR> <BR>My husband has a music background. Wherever we travel in the future, he intends to visit the venues (bars?) where the local undiscovered musicians play, meet them, and keep in touch with them to encourage their music. <BR> <BR>My middle boy has recovered from a rare cancer, and that experience created a relationship with our childrens' hospital and the pediatric neurosurgery community. Our plans are not clear at the moment, but we would look for some opportunity to create a link for medical care unavailable to a child in another country. <BR> <BR>So here is the question. What can you give back?

I can give you back a small question. <BR> <BR>AJ, what's the weather like on your planet?

You've posted this interesting note on the forum for Europe. It bears well upon Central America, Albania and the orphanages of Romania. But my reply for, say, London or Bohemia is that what we'd like you to bring is a little reading and a little background, so that you know what the Wars of the Roses and the Thirty Years War were, and the work of Comenius and Gregor Mendel. <BR> <BR>It's a win-win game: the visiting Ameicans gain as much as we do when they've read before they come. <BR> <BR>I'm sorry about Mr Jurgen. And for him. <BR> <BR>Ben Haines, London <BR> <BR> <BR>

I can't tell you right now, but you surely had got me thinking!! Thanks for a great question. <BR> <BR>P.S. AJ, please don't pay any attention to Jurgen. He just got his @&$% kicked on another posting going around! (what would you expect from a guy who misquotes Madonna to make a point?)

You're kidding, right? What can you, in all your middle class, undereducated American glory "give back" to Europeans? What a superior, condescending Ugly American attitude -- it's laughable. Since you posted on the Europe forum, we have to assume you are talking about them. I don't believe most Europeans need the benefit of your "missionary" works. <BR> <BR>Ben is right...try visiting places and LEARNING from them rather than invading them and trying to TEACH them something. <BR> <BR>

Now, Susan, is that a "condescending, Ugly European attitude" we're getting from you? <BR> <BR>I know that AJ means well, and I commend her, but I'm afraid that most Americans are too tired from only having two weeks vacation out of 52, to think about anything except relaxing somewhere! <BR>

AJ, you are to be commended and admired. You have raised your family well. I only wish I could answer your question, but I can't. I am absolutely appalled at the tone of some of the responses to a question that was not meant to be condescending, but thought provoking. I honestly don't think AJ was asking what can Americans give to Europeans. Rather, it appears she just wants all forum participants to think a bit about the gifts they can offer in their travels. I sense that those who are critical of the question are merely getting defensive because they have nothing to offer.

Ilisa, I think you're exactly right about what was likely AJ's intent with her post. Ben was able to raise the point that Americans likely have very little to "give back" in Western Europe (as compared to areas like certain regions of Central America and parts of eastern Europe), while at the same time being extremely gracious and offering a wonderful recommendation as to what Americans (or visitors of any nationality) *can* do to be "better tourists" in Europe. <BR> <BR>Susan, on the other hand, assumed the worst of AJ and resorted to insults. <BR> <BR>It's not surprising to me that Ben Haines is one of the most valued posters on this and most other European travel Web sites. He's a positive font of useful, accurate information, is very generous with it, and is unfailingly courteous.

Now I am not pretending to be the Pope of Chilitown or whatever but AJ meant well. In fact I think America could teach Europe a considerable amount (customer service for one thing).

Susan, it wouldn't hurt you to sit down with a European history book and keep a tally of the number of Europeans countries that throughtout history, have overestimated their own importance and strength when they insisted in seeing the world as they wished it to be, not as it really was. The consequences were humiliation and division. Sad to see that that attitude seems to be alive and well. <BR> <BR>Ben, loved your answer. You certainly can teach some on this forum some class...

Well, if you are really serious about helping others, I think the best route would be to simply donate money to a proper organization that can make the best use of it in an efficient and productive manner. For example, Médecins sans Frontières is a very good French organization that sends health care workers to worldwide crisis areas to assist with medical care (areas hit by natural or other disasters--most recently they sent a lot of aide to Kosovo, and now they are sending aide to Turkey, their aide includes medical supplies and physicians or other personnel). Their US-based WEB site is www.doctorswithoutborders.org (or www.dwb.org) and www.msf.org is the international/French WEB site). So, if you really want to help poor people medically on a global basis, send off a check immediately, I'm sure they could use it rather than you sitting around thinking about personal links you can create, an idea that may well be forgotten by next week. I would also guess that a poor country in Central America might have higher priorities than CAD. I must say that your husband seems to be suffering the most -- his big sacrifice is to hang out in bars chatting up musicians. (and, personally, I think Jurgen is pretty funny; I always laugh when I read his posts, there are too many people on this board with no sense of humor--just take it as being outrageous)

Tony--if only others on this forum knew what goes on in that mind of yours...

Emily, what is that about? I am amazed (amd amused) at how people pick on Tony for no reason. <BR> <BR>Cristina, I see you are back. Good to see you still have the same sense of humor. Clever.

Just curious, how does everyone know AJ is American? Her ISP covers both the US and Canada. She said "Is there *any* benefits that we can offer through our travels" *must* it mean material things? Just because that is what her family plans to do in Central America, I don't believe she meant to suggest bringing chocolate bars, cigarettes and nylons to Europe. If AJ is sincere about her family's trip to Central America, then they are far more compassionate and kind than I (sadly) ever will be. Does anyone else plan on bringing school/medicial supplies or other items to local children or clinics on their next vacation/holiday to a poor/3rd World country? BTW I hope AJ is an American. Regards, Walter <BR>

How's this for a rule of thumb and litmus test? Let's be as charitable, respectful, and honest abroad as we are at home. It seems to me that anything less is, at the very least, condescending and paternalistic. <BR>--- <BR>Join the Nth-Generation: say No To Hate. <BR>

AJ -- <BR> <BR>If your son survived a rare form of cancer, you have been through hell and come out the other side, and I congratulate you for trying to expand your family's sense of what the world is other than Disney, cruises, and four-star restaurants on Greek Islands, and for trying to give at least as much as you get. <BR> <BR>You don't deserve the abuse you got from some, but do take it as warning that there will be condescension in the eyes of some beholders, whether you mean it or not. Unfortunately, generosity is often considered less a virtue than a sure sign of a fool at work.

The American dollar is one of the strongest in the world. Everytime you go overseas you give by bolstering someone else's economy. Vacationer's typically spend more, and more loosely, than any other group (excepting the U.S. taxpayer, who spends billions on foreign aide through it's greatly generous politicians). <BR> <BR>Customer service -- aahhhh, civilization. (Except for those NY waiters.) <BR> <BR>The Nth generation, so, we've finally lost count. Isn't "no" a rather hateful word? <BR> <BR>And remember, the number one cause of death throughout the world -- is life. <BR>

Bless you, A.J. ! You never know what may result from one thoughtful act. I certainly do not understand the European poster who was so offended - I wouldn't be if she wanted to come to America and make an effort to help the poverty stricken here. <BR>AJ, I'm sure you are very rightfully proud of your children, and I think they're wonderful.

Having sufficiently embarassed myself to last the rest of this year, I thought I would post a timid reply. I posted on the European forum, not to condescend at all, but because it seems that the most thoughtful threads appear here. I regret anyone feeling that I was the American who was coming to save Europe. I didn't intend this idea as a missionary or charitable thing. I thought of it as more of an exchange. We take so much of other countries when we travel, what can we give back? Literally, a thank you. Paris, for example, gives us history, art, new cuisine, architecture, a different culture - what can we give back? Perhaps, an introduction of a developing French software firm to my company's capital markets director. Is that condescending? No. <BR> <BR>Christina, ironically, again, I disagree precisely with your point, or rather I both agree and disagree. I agree that hard, cold cash is what's needed in many instances to support humanitarian efforts in developing countries. That's a given. But you pooh-poohed the value of "personal links", whereas I believe that is precisely what is needed. When it is all over, you can measure yourself by many yardsticks (metersticks?) One way to measure yourself is in the quality of your "personal links", your relationships. I think, maybe, since governments and industries have not succeeded in melding the world, maybe these personal links have a better chance of bringing us together. <BR> <BR>Thanks all, for your comments, even those of you who trashed this poor Yankee! It's always an education...

AJ, A kind and giving heart is something that you should NEVER be embarrassed about!