theregoesminerva

You Fodorites sure do tickle me. I hope none of the friends ever read this, lol. I had lunch with this group over the weekend and I was scoping them out as to potential companions so I dissected them a little.

I have a married friend who might leave her husband behind but I am afraid she might start moaning for him halfway though the trip.

I don't think I could do a tour but thanks anyway. It seem like I would get the same personalities on the bus without the friendship to back it up.

OK, back to the drawing board.

chepar

I also recommend going solo. If that really is not going to work for you, I think the lesser of all the evils is the picky eater or the one that has no input.

One of my travel companions on a 3 week trip to Europe this past spring had several of these traits. No sense of adventure, a very picky eater and (supposedly) didn't have any input of her own.

Of all these traits, the picky eating was the least annoying. As to the woman with no input - are you sure this is the case, or will it change halfway through the trip?

I thought before we left on my trip that my travel companion's lack input would be ok - but once we got to Europe it became apparent that she was only interested in shopping 24/7. Some shopping is fine - but not exclusive to anything else. This is the woman who told me "I'll do whatever you want - I have no opinion. Choose what you want to see, it's all fine." Any attempts to solicit suggestions from her pre-trip were met with a variation of that response.

This suddenly having an opinion combined with her lack of adventure morphed together into someone that didn't want to do or see anything if it didn't involve shopping - but she also refused to go off on her own (despite not so subtle suggestions almost daily). So instead she pretty much sulked every day, making the rest of us miserable.

WillTravel

Unless you have a good reason to think so, I doubt the married woman would start pining for her husband halfway through. But maybe she's indicated she's like this.

suze

My vote goes to <Whatever I want: She is pleasant and has good personal insight, ironic sense of humor.>

Actually my first vote is for going solo, but that sounds like it is not a possibility. I love to travel alone and have never felt unsafe in Europe.

I have dear friends who I would never leave the country with for various reasons. And one of my most perfect trips ever was with another single co-worker I didn't know all that well. We have been BEST of friends ever since Europe 1999 together.

FainaAgain

Oh, just take them all along and eliminate on the go. Like Elimi-date or American idol. Make it fun, make it a competition. And come back with a report, would ya?

theregoesminerva

Set In Her Ways just phoned me and wants to go with me on my trip! I had felt them out by mentioning my trip at the lunch. She says she wants to follow in the steps of her sister-in-law and stay in all the same places.

I told her I would have to call her back. I had already dropped her as you all know! Oh my, the plot deepens.

theregoesminerva

Faina that is funny!! I could give one of them a rose at the end of each evening.

SeaUrchin

Hmmm, before I decide, what is the married one like?

chepar

>Set In Her Ways just phoned me and wants to go with me on my trip! I had felt them out by mentioning my trip at the lunch. She says she wants to follow in the steps of her sister-in-law and stay in all the same places.<

theregoesminerva - no, no, no!!! Your last sentence says it all. Please come up with a tactful way to decline her request to join you. Sounds like a recipe for misery.

jor

Find out how much toilet paper they use. I had a travel partner on a trip through Egypt who was measuring the toilet paper and constantly chewed me out for using too much. We have laughed about it since, but I almost dumped him in Luxur because of it.

1rood

I'm going alone to Scotland for a month, birthday gift to myself. I have signed up for two weeklong backpacking/and bp-canoeing trips...with a week inbetween, plus 4-5 at the beginning and the end. This is a bit of a pilgrimage for me so I wouldn't expect anyone to understand. But if I had to choose I would say sense of humor and someone not cheap.
I am nervous about getting off the plane but I expect to find people and places that have far exceeded my imagination. I'd say sign up for a short trip, meet people and gain some confidence and then go off on your own. The Gods will be with you.

theregoesminerva

I want to thank you all for the thoughtful responses, I have noted them all. The married one is very very close to her husband so I have a little feeling that she can't be away from him for very long, alas. I will ask her if she would consider it even so.

I am hiding from Set In Her Ways while I am deciding what to say to her.

I wish No Sense of Adventure would build up some muscle strength so she could keep up maybe then she would develop a sense of adventure.

I have the feeling that I am wishing these ladies had the qualities I think they should have so I am thinking I might be a PITA myself.

Christina

I don't think I'd go with you. You sound overly critical and judgmental and toting up scorecards as to how your so-called "friends" measure up. Do you like these women or not? It sure doesn't sound like it. You have said that you are afraid to go alone, so any of these women are doing something for you, also, which you don't seem to recognize.

Eloise

Minerva: Please do not take Christina's mean-spirited message to heart. Choosing a travel companion is never easy, and I think she is being totally unfair.

I was actually going to post a reply to your last message earlier but I was afraid it might come across as condescending. But now I feel I should say it. I had to google to find out what a PITA was, and I was dismayed that you might think of yourself as one.

No one is perfect, God knows, but I do think that you should be using this opportunity to build your self-confidence rather than tear yourself down.

With any luck, ALL the ladies will announce that they wish to join you, so rather than offend most of them by choosing only one, you will go alone. And you'll have a great time!

indytravel

The "youngest" friend I've traveled with is from college. Sadly that's going on 25 years now.

The "oldest" friend I've traveled with is from junior high. That's, even more sadly, 35 years now.

(It's not sad that I've had friends for more than 25 years. It's sad that I'm that OLD now. Where did my youth go? )

If I don't have that kind of investment, I go my myself.

sundowner

theregoesminerva - I could be your friend "one who will do whatever I want with no input of her own". It drives my husband crazy when I say "whatever is fine with me" but only because he's the same way. The only thing he will instigate is going to dinner. So if I want to do anything I have make all the plans (Italy with daughters in Mar04 and South Africa solo Sep04). I need a friend like you!

I don't think I would be able to enjoy a trip having to deal with the traits of the others you describe. So if it doesn't bother you to make all the plans and be the leader - then I think your choice is made.

KT

I see that "does whatever I want with no input of her own" seems to be winning, so I'll offer a contrarian view. That may sound appealing, but the downside is that it can amount to "you make all the plans and decisions and take all the blame."

Years ago, I was in situation where I had to do everything for a decidedly unassertive travel companion, from deciding on all of the lodgings to buying her subway tickets and putting them in the entry gate for her. If anything went wrong, my companion (who later got a PhD and taught at university, so she's no dummy) would reproach me with some variation of "What are you going to do now to fix things?"

I thought that I'd start screaming if this intelligent woman stood there inert on a street corner one more time and said "Where are we going to eat?" or "Which way do we go now?" I tried to encourage her, gently at first "Oh, I thought we should go somewhere you'd like this time" and then less gently "I don't know. Why don't you decide for a change?" But to no avail.

Boy, was that a learning experience (for me; she never did figure out how to buy a subway ticket, despite several demonstrations).

icithecat

To pick a travel mate as a guy, you find the woman who says 'You have a cat I love cats' and later when petting your cat says 'It has been my life long fantasy to see Europe'.

Definately a shoe in there.

Kayb95

You may not have as many choices of travel companions as you think. We have a 3 BR timeshare in London and lots of friends and relatives have said they'd like to go with us sometime. We've extended invitations, but when it actually comes to shelling out the money for plane ticket, expenses, etc... they normally back out. Everyone likes the idea of going, but getting a comittment from them is a different story.

Nikki

Reading this post and most of the responses, I have become even more grateful for the friends and family who travel with me despite my bad knees and ankles and subsequent disinclination to climb many stairs. Most of you would have eliminated me as a travel companion based on those qualities alone.

I have to stand up in defense of Christina's point of view. I travel with people I like, people with whom I have fun, whom I enjoy doing things with, who are likely to be as understanding of my quirks as I am of theirs. No shortage of candidates so far.