In a recent post about something i saw on Coronation Street to do with Christmas I also asked about the silly-looking paper hats everyone was wearing at Christmas dinner. And it was said that these hats were de rigueuer at Xmas din and came in a box of crackers.

Q- I'm planning to be in London around Christmas time and would like to buy some of these crackers to bring home - what should i look for in supermarkets - will it be labeled Christmas Crackers? I also would like to have the stupid jokes that come in the crackers.

thanks, PalQ

Hi,
You'll find Christmas crackers absolutely everywhere, from supermarkets to bookstores. (Boots and Marks & Spencers usually have a good range, for example.) They usually come in boxes of 6 or twelve, for all budgets and with all sorts of themes/designs (super cheap, deluxe, for adults, for kids, etc...), and they always have a gift (ranging from a cheap plastic figurine to a piece of silver jewellery, depending on how much you spend), joke and hat inside.

They'll always be marked Christmas Crackers and are likely to be prominently displayed.

Incidentally, you can also get them in some stores in the US (can't remember where, but saw them in a few places in NYC last Christmas).

Christmas crackers are widely available (ie just about every where sells them) they are a table decoration for Christmas Dinner (common) or lunch (PLU).

They are a tube covered in paper and glittery stuff. The tube contains an awful - truly awful - joke, a novelty and a paper hat - usually a bit like a crown. It is imperative to wear the hat.

You can pay anything from a couple of pounds for a dozen to thousands - the only real difference will be the quality of the novelty.

Perhaps people would like to submit some cracker jokes.....

What goes round the bottom of the ocean going "brrrrm brrrm"? A motor-pike with a side carp.

Over to you....

Thanks a lot - sounds like the perfect gift for folks back home!

Make sure you spend at least £10 on the box or it will be rubbish!
As hanl says, Boots and Marks and Spencers sell them and they are usually more tastefull.
The supermarket ones (if cheap)sometimes wont even snap when pulled apart - very disappointing for the children!

What do you get if you cross a cowboy with an octopus?

Billy the squid!

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

The BBC published a "top ten" of Christmas cracker jokes a few years ago:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2601789.stm

Just a thought: they're not called crackers for nothing. The point of them is to make a bang when you and some other person at the table pull each end of them (or preferably everyone around the table all at the same time). In these security-conscious days, would there be a problem about taking them on to a plane? Might be worth checking with BAA, before you get too sold on the idea, or see if you can get them sent for you.

Why did the lobster blush?

Because the seaweed.

If you want to follow the tradition completely, then here's how they're used:

A cracker is placed at each place setting before the meal begins. When everyone sits down and before any food is served, you offer to 'pull' your cracker with someone else sitting near you. When you pull it, one person - the winner - will get the tube with all the goodies inside, and one person will be left holding nothing but a twinkly bit of crepe paper. The winner gets the contents of the cracker, even if it was at your place setting. Fear not, someone else will/should offer to pull their cracker with you and hopefully this time you'll win. If your pulling produces no wins, then some kind person who has already won a cracker pulling will give you theirs - the whole point is that everyone should get one. You then all don your hats, compare tacky toys (swapping is allowed), and take it in turns to read out your awful jokes. Everyone is obliged to listen to each joke in turn.

If you want to know what you're looking for when you go shopping, this is what they look like:
http://www.absolutelycrackers.com/home.html

and you MUST wear the hat. No excuses or arguements - get that hat on!

What lies at the bottom of the see murdering fish?

Jack the kipper.

You guys are so silly!

...The seaweed...

Don't know what it is about thatone but it totally cracked me up

my mother in law's going to the west indies......

Kate: thanks for the link - i originally thought these were some type of crackers - edible but now i see the meaning of the word.

And the site seems to imply they are for any occasion - so i guess it's not just at Christmas? Birthdays? Thanks

Jamaica?

No she went of her own accord!

Boom, and furthermore, boom!

And crackers are only for christmas. Wearing paper hats would be silly at any other time.

Fortnum & Mason have some extra-nice Christmas crackers, with real gifts instead of the little plastic thingies or whatever.

What I'm still hunting for is the stand-alone hats that were at our places for Christmas dinner at Brown's Hotel. They were fabulous--my husband got a pirate's hat made of cardboard and crepe paper. I have had absolutely no luck locating a source; so if anyone knows what I'm talking about and where I could find some, please let me know.

P.S. You can find Christmas crackers at Williams Sonoma and Cost Plus.

Whats green and sings ?

Elvis Parsley.

What's white and swings around the cake-shop?
A meringue-utan.



What's yellow and swings around the cake-shop?
Tarzipan.

What's yellow & dangerous?