shark infested custard.

What do you call a frenchman in sandals?

Phillipe Fulop.

"the site seems to imply they are for any occasion"

Well, it would, wouldn't it? It's a site promoting crackers. The only time I've ever seen them used outside Xmas is when someone's got a half-used box and is desperate for a really, really crappy joke.

Incidentally, the expensive own-label crackers at Tesco, Sainsbury, Waitrose et al are made by Tom Smith (who make for Fortnum's and Horrids) to pretty much the same spec the rip-off shops in central London charge you three times as much for.

They get a lot cheaper after Christmas once the sales start

Christmas crackers are pretty easy to find in the US now, at least in my corner of it, San Diego. They're mostly Tom Smith, but you do see other makes.

Not sure where you live, PalenqueBob (Palenque would be a good guess, eh?), but my Irish mother-in-law somehow finds them every December in Kansas City. (And yes, we are expected to wear the crowns -- my kids fight over them.) Pottery Barn carried them a few years ago, but I think she has luck at places like Marshall's and T.J. Maxx believe it or not.

I doubt that you could take them back in your luggage as there is a bit of gunpowder in them. I seem "expor crackers" sold at fortum and masons- all the goodies none of the "POW"

if you're a septic you can buy the bits that go bang here:

https://protected.accountsupport.com...cker-snaps.htm

A cracker without a bang is like toast without marmite.

..or like toast without Bovril?

Glad to know gunpowder is in it - will look at home rather than take that into an airport - especially in London!That also makes clear the meaning of the word "cracker", like in fire cracker.

There are now New Year's Eve crackers, birthday crackers, 4th of July crackers...who knows what will be next? There's a U.S. site that makes crackers sort of to order:

http://www.oldenglishcrackers.com/

What did the inflatable headmaster at the inflatable school say to the naughty inflatable schoolboy caught holding a pin?

I was watching an Ingmar Bergman movie a few years ago (Fanny and Alexander I think)where there was a Christmas meal unfolding. SInce we're in France, the subtitles were in French - suddenly people were talking about 'biscuits,' which seemed a strange part of the Christmas dinner. Obviously no one in the translation staff had heard about crackers!

You have let me down, you have let the school down, you have let your friends down, but worst of all, you have let yourself down.

I like the junky pressies you get in cheap crackers. Christmas isn't the same without a:
red cellophane fortune telling fish
large plastic ring
get the ball in the hole puzzle
plastic animal
pink plastic hair slide
miniature plastic magnifying glass

red cellophane fortune telling fish
**************************************
Yes that has to be my favourite as well such good fun playing with cracker toys.

Red cellophane fortune-telling fish !

My favourite too !
Haven't pulled a cracker in over 15 years but I used to love that item. Thanks for reminding nona.

And also the tiny spinning tops that sometimes whistled when spun.

<<Haven't pulled a cracker in over 15 years>>

Well keep trying your luck might change

Geordie

Last year at Christmas dinner in London, we pulled our crackers and inside mine was a strange contorted piece of multi color plastic. I couldn't figure out what it was. A spinning top? Nope. An attempt at being some sort of figure? Couldn't be interpreted. It became the topic of conversation as various waiters and bus persons carried it around trying to figure out what the heck it was supposed to be. We never figured it out. I wasn't expecting much, but still. . . Almost as depressing as the time I got the blank piece of paper in a fortune cookie.

By the way, I see Christmas crackers available lots of places in the US -- Linens and Things; Bed,Bath and Beyond; Greeting card stores. . .

Neopolitan, was it a puzzle? The sort where 2 bits of metal or plastic are mangled together and you have to work out how to get them apart? Cos those are REALLY common in crackers.

I had sellotape as the prize in my cracker last year. May sound boring (not THAT boring! It WAS on a plastic dispenser!), but it's the only cracker toy I've ever had any use out of.

Nope, there was nothing you could do with it. Finally the best answer was that it was some odd bit of plastic that had been something else but got "melted" or otherwise mangled somewhere along the line.

vampire teeth are the best thing - plastic motorcycles are the worst.