PalenQ

Listen to the Italians and Europeans here regarding tipping - what's writ in American-oriented guidebooks is often chaff.

Do friendly wait staff in U.S. get better tips than surly ones - no doubt regardless of studies yes - especially amongst frequent customers though more and more folks have a % they always leave regardless of staff demeanor.

annw

So strange to read the research. In the US It's 15-20% fairly standard depending on quality of the service, which includes leaving us the hell alone when we are eating vs. asking how we are doing when we have food in our mouths. For surly service it's less or none.

Other countries, I do what OP does and try to determine the local norms and behave accordingly.

I'm only 40% fluent in Italian by DuoLingo standards but I can usually order in Italian with moderately decent accent so maybe the expectations are lower.

kja

"I am going to double my usual American tip and let out a huge maniacal laugh every time I do."

You are welcome to laugh as much as you want, as are those who laugh at you (behind your back) for having left an unnecessary tip. Those of use who end up being seen as “ugly Americans” who have no appreciation for the value of a dollar might not laugh so much. JMO.

bvh

"therefore the data is wrong"

I didn't say the data was wrong. It could be right with a customer or two. I believe the data is silly and meaningless, and I don't believe the percentages. It's sort of like saying if you say "bon jour" to a French shop keeper upon walking in, you'll get a discount on everything you buy.

I believe in evolution and that global warming is real. I don't believe all waiters who state their name as they introduce themselves to me are after a bigger tip for doing so. The belief is utterly cynical.

Geordie

<<I don't believe all waiters who state their name as they introduce themselves to me are after a bigger tip for doing so>>

There's so many tricks, what about all those waiters who put smiley faces on the bill including a personal message, or they give you something for free so you feel you have to reciprocate the favour, its a game and if you can't see it then I've got a bridge I can sell you

Whathello

IMD is the typical ugly american in that matter.
He/she has read dozens of tipping in Europe threads seen hundreds of hysterical posts and still is unmoved.
I am US so I tip.
Interesting behaviour.
Conscious or is unconscious ?
Would Freud derive something from that ?

bvh

"what about all those waiters who put smiley faces on the bill including a personal message"

I've never experienced that anywhere. I don't understand where some of you eat.

"or they give you something for free so you feel you have to reciprocate the favour, its a game"

More cynicism. How sad.

I have often received something for free from the wait staff or the chef. I believe they call it an "amuse bouche." Never felt I had to reciprocate or leave a better tip.

There have been many occasions when my waiter brought me freebies. I always thought it was because I was having such a good time, and my waiter was enjoying that. If a waiter brings me freebies because he or she sees that I'm totally having a ball, you bet my tip will reflect my appreciation. I love saying thank you in a special way to someone who treated me special while they were serving me.

Geordie

<<There have been many occasions when my waiter brought me freebies. I always thought it was because I was having such a good time, and my waiter was enjoying that. If a waiter brings me freebies because he or she sees that I'm totally having a ball, you bet my tip will reflect my appreciation.>>

Hook, line, sinker! and you said "Never felt I had to reciprocate or leave a better tip"

thursdaysd

None so blind as those who choose not to see.

If using psychology to increase income/profits/etc is cynical there are whole industries of cynics.

bvh

"Hook, line, sinker! and you said "Never felt I had to reciprocate or leave a better tip""
"None so blind as those who choose not to see."

You cynics will NEVER understand. Talk about blindness.

I see a world of difference between feeling you "have" to reciprocate and possessing a sincere desire to show appreciation for great customer service. It's sort of like explaining glass half-empty and glass half-full to a cynic. Some of you cynics naturally see a negative motive in everything having to do with really good customer service. You can't help yourself. Too bad for you and the waiters who serve you.

Whathello

Does a prostitute who smiles get a better pay ?
Or am I cynic ?

We cynics who don't give a tip also have a sincere desire to show appreciation for great customer service. Without resorting to a wallet.

Paying to show appreciation ? What a strange idea indeed. When your child smiles or gets good grade you just increase the tip ?

Once you mix money with appreciation you let the rot inside.
Remember the definition of simony ?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simony

Some would say Simon was just trying to reciprocate or had a desire to show appreciation ? And expected a just tip in return...

A pure heart will do things for free, not expecting anything in return.

(Hey, did anybody before tried to get the church on board of a tipping thread ?).

That the one who has never sinned throws the first stone.
Amen.

thursdaysd

I tip a set percentage (based on the customs of the country) unless the service is significantly bad.

Great customer service gets a big smile and a heartfelt "thank you". The places where I am a frequent customer in the US welcome me with big smiles on their side, so I don't think that money over and above a "standard" tip is a prerequisite for great service even in the US.

I see nothing cynical in that. I see cynicism in the notion that increasing the tip increases the standard of service.

bvh

"I see cynicism in the notion that increasing the tip increases the standard of service."

You clearly have never worked in an industry where tipping is the norm. I have. I can assure readers, generous tippers who are repeat customers get far better service. It's not always obvious to everyone and nor should it be. True professionals are very discreet. Average people don't notice a lot of details.

PalenQ

I like the European system of a fixed service charge and wait staff treat all people the same - professionally but not palavering.

thursdaysd

Let's see. It's cynical to suggest that servers introduce themselves in the hope of bigger tips, but it's not cynical to say that giving bigger tips gets better service? Someone is suffering from a logic deficit.

bvh

Money has always motivated people and continues to do so. I see no logic deficit in that fact.

Whathello

Nope. The bible doesn't say that you get money to behave properly.
So no. Money has not always motivated people.
I have got a fixed wage and I am motivated. The ones I will not help are the ones who are arrogant not the ones who are poor.
So my quality of work depends on other factors.
Too bad if what drives you is the idea of potentially getting more.
If I am bad at work I'll be fired if I am good I'll be promoted. Eventually. But I am not motivated every day by tips.
Why must it be different for waiters ?
You imagine nurses coming to you and smiling telling you 'hi I am olga tip me well and you'll get better service than the neighbour'.
Don't be shy nobody will notice.
Besides how can you give better service that is unnoticeable ?

bvh

I just remembered, on return from a recent trip to Europe, my airline check-in agent asked me how many bags I was checking. I said two. She looked at my bags and said the second bag was small enough to be carried on. Then I showed her my backpack at my feet and said that I was already at the carry-on limit. Without saying a word, she ticketed my second bag (which was almost 50 pounds) and never mentioned the $100 fee that was supposed to be charged. She checked my second bag for free. The second bag was full of grocery goodies I was bringing back, so Coach class customers can understand my absolute joy of receiving this gift.

I did absolutely nothing to deserve the airline agent's kindness and generosity. My frequent flyer status is a joke. I was just an ordinary customer in the right place at the right time with the right agent.

I tend to believe what goes around comes around. If you're a generous soul, kindness will eventually come back to you.

AlessandraZoe

I am SO agreeing with bvh.

Although we are blessed with financial means now, my husband and I had to work in service industries to get through college and grad school. We know what it's like from the other side.

There are three things that in service can destroy one's desire to give great service: 1) Cheap people who do not tip no matter what, 2) rude people who think trying to earn an honest living deserves disrespect while they themselves deserve out-of-the-ordinary attention, and 3) uncharitable people who think the world is out to get them.

I gladly waited daily on an 80-year old gentleman who left me just a dime every time. To me, his little tip was like the widow's mite: he gave greatly from the small income he had. When he died, all of us at the restaurant mourned. He was a gentleman.

I waited on people whom I knew had money they could burn, and so often they ENJOYED putting a hand up my dress (Taylor Swift, I so love you for your law suit) because the restaurant culture of the time allowed them to do that. They grabbed my body, joked with their friends about grabbing my body,and most often, stiffed me for the tip.

I had customers who really did think the world, including me and the cooks and the bartenders, were out to make their world tough. There is nothing one can do for that customer. They are determined to be unhappy. They fight every item on the check to prove that the world is out to get them.

But I can also tell you that I totally could enjoy some of my most demanding customers. They would say, "Is there any way you can...?" or "You know, that drink wasn't bad, but I think the bartender needs to..." It's amazing how these people could make all of us want to do better. These people were not just generous in tipping (not all, but most), but they were also generous in spirit. They raised my game, and I enjoyed raising my game around them.

bvh just said,
"I tend to believe what goes around comes around. If you're a generous soul, kindness will eventually come back to you."

Well, my mother just died. We walked into one of our regular restaurants two days after her death, and the manager said, "Your money is no good tonight. The staff heard, and this meal is on us. No tips--let us do this for you.

Enough said.

AZ

PalenQ

Loved reading Zoe's post but

It's too bad American wait staff have to grovel for tips or depend on them for their income. About the only industry where clients pay for part of operating costs of doing business - bank tellers often don't get that great a pay - why not tip them?

All workers should get a minimum LIVING wage with health insurance no matter what the job IMO!

And in Europe many do and that is why folks do not have to tip to pay their wages.

Hard to tell which ones may not and I'm sure that there are some but again do as Italians and Europeans do regards tipping.