schnauzer

The most frustrating aspect of this report is trying to find where you are up to when returning to the post!! I don't want to miss a bit!!

A great read - definately Bette Midler for Eiffel Tower and Diane Keaton would have to fit in somewhere surely? Maybe J?

Barb

I still have some shopping to do and I know where I want to go, so I tell D and J what my plans are and that we can get together for lunch before that if they want. I take them to Ecco Bomba to see GianCarlo the owner and Omar Sharif look alike. He is always such a character and I know he will charm the pants off them. Well, D was all giggly and loving every moment of his attentions. She even asked him if he had a vespa and would take her for a ride!! He told her he wished he did because nothing would give him more pleasure. Yah I bet. Anyway, she loved it.

I can feel my battery wearing down as I do the last of my shopping, picking up the requested Shevchenko soccer shirt for my 5 yr. old grandson and a bracelet and belt for my granddaughter. Eiffel, Scared and KIA need to eat before 5:00, so D, J and I head out about 7:30 and just walk across the piazza to Da Giovanni. It’s starting to rain and is rather chilly, so I just have a big piping bowl of pasta figoli, which was outstanding by the way, bread and a little vino rosso and call it a day – a big day tomorrow.

Believe it or not, D is tired and goes to sleep after only talking about an hour, J is pretty much ignoring her and I am trying to write in my journal. My last entry says:

I can’t believe the trip I’ve been planning for all these months is now over. I can’t say I am sorry, as this has been a stressful and harrowing experience, to say the least. At this point in my previous trips, I am usually feeling very sad and quite emotional about leaving and going home. Not so this trip. I cannot tell you how glad I will be to say goodbye to the Divas.

Eiffel, even though she is loud and has done absolutely no planning ahead of time for this trip, except pick out really stunning outfits, has no curiosity whatsoever and really doesn’t stray too far from pizza and lasagna, was a real trooper in so many ways. She provided some much needed laughs along the way and most importantly, did not take herself too seriously.

KIA and I will never be friends. She is small-minded and is a control-freak. She does not know how to compromise and will never be able to venture out of her tiny comfort zone. Even when she was in one of the most beautiful countries in the world.

J and I will always, hopefully, be good friends. D will probably be talking about this trip for the next 20 yrs. and boring all her friends with every minute detail and then repeating it over and over. But not with me.

Maybe the dog man of Sorrento will come and stay with Scared. If he did, she would open her doors and welcome him in. She’s sweet and has just led a very sheltered life. This trip was just too much for her.

So, if there is one lesson to be learned in all this. For all my good intentions, it just didn’t work. I will NEVER do this again. From now on it’s solo traveling for this Diva.

Our limo driver, which I had arranged, arrives on time – he is a hoot. We know his whole life story by the time we get to the airport. He reminds me so much of Roberto Benigni, it’s uncanny. We check in and KIA is arguing with the man saying she must have a bulk head seat. Grrr. Once we get to our gate, everyone pretty much goes their separate ways. Checking out duty-free, getting coffee, I go to pick up some Interior Decorating Mags for the newstand. We have 20 minutes to boarding, we are all sitting there, and my phone rings. It’s NHF! He has called to tell me how he has been thinking about me and just wanted to let me know how much he has enjoyed our time together, wishes me a good flight home and hopes that we can see each other again if I ever return to Sorrento. The Divas are sitting there with their mouths open. Eiffel is saying gee, how romantic, D says the same. KIA says, “he probably does that with every tourist he sees”.

I walk on to the plane with a smile on my face. Mille grazie NHF and Ciao Roma.

Cassandra

&gt;&lt; &gt;&lt; &gt;&lt; <font color="red">Grazie! Bravissima!</font> &gt;&lt; &gt;&lt; &gt;&lt;

Fodorite018

I have loved reading every little bit Barb! I have had 3 new books sitting here, but this is much better reading than those are I am sure. I had to laugh about no tans for you, with being from the PNW. I totally understand as I am from Oregon, lol!

Ceci

Benissimo, bravo, Barb! But I can't say I'm not sorry that you finished your report, I wish there were more.. sigh...

Anyway, I'm glad you got this call from NHF to say Ciao, Bella before you left, lighting up your Italian farewell a bit.

I'll surely edit your report and print it, because I want to re-read it all at once. And I'll keep my fingers crossed hoping that someone in the movie industry gets to read your report!!

Tante grazie, Barb!

Mary_Fran

I'm exhausted! I can only imagine how you must have felt. You really are a wonderful writer. The postscript wrapped up all the loose ends so nicely.

Thanks for hanging in there, both on the trip and in writing your story.

dorkforcemom

Wow! As others have expressed more eloquently, I have loved your tale! Thank you.

annabelle2

Thank you as well. What a great read. What a trip-from-hell. (I've had trips from Purgatory, but this is Dante-esque!)

hawaiiantraveler

Barb:
Hire a screenwriter..this could be a really good movie
Aloha!

tuscanlifeedit

Brava! Tante grazie.

Kavey

Barb
Thanks for finishing your report in the face of some truly supercilious, smug, self-righteous and spiritless individuals.
I'm really sorry that your trip was marred so much by some of your companions but am glad that you were still able to salvage some great experiences, especially your sweet holiday romance.
As others have said, bravissima and here's a toast to your next trip - hoping it's nothing like this one and everything that you dream it to be!

oopsy

Barb,

Thank you so much for taking the time to post this. You are a fantastic writer. I have the same touch of sadness I get when I finish a really good book. Please, please tell us that you'll be taking another trip soon! While waiting for new chapters of this report, I read your report from last spring. Also wonderful!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Scarlett

I have also enjoyed reading every bit of this report.
Thank you Barb for sharing and I do hope you go on another trip soon..I cannot wait to hear more
even without Divas, I am sure it will be entertaining~

CatFancier

Oh, Barb, how dull tomorrow will be with no more Divas to read about. We'll all have to suffer through withdrawal. Loved, loved, loved your story and felt I was right there with you (OMG, what a ghastly thought). And I agree with that hunky Oliver Martinez from &quot;Unfaithful&quot; to play your cute waiter.

travgina

Barb: Thanks for taking us along on the ride of a lifetime! My hat is off to you for surviving the trip and still being able to come home with a sense of humor and some great memories.

cigalechanta

When the picture's out don't forget to mention my casting

PaulafromNY

Bravo.

shetraveler

I agree with Hawaiiantrveler. Hire a screenwriter (or a lawyer) immediately and protect your story. Some enterprising reader could steal it and put on their own show! Great reading!

keggy

Barb,
Thank you so much for the amazing trip report. You are an excellent story teller. I admire your strength on your journey and hope you will be able to return to Italy soon.

TexasAggie

Congrats on finishing one of the most entertaining and well written trip reports ever to appear on this board. I second the suggestion to copyright this story immediately! It really is a classic and would make a delightful movie