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Should I change itinerary to accomodate friends?

Should I change itinerary to accomodate friends?

Old Aug 6th, 2008, 06:36 PM
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Should I change itinerary to accomodate friends?

I was all set with our FF tickets for a 20 day trip to Italy next year - into Rome and out of Venice. My husband and I were planning to do Rome, Amalfi, Tuscany, Bellagio and out of Venice. Now friends want to join us but only for two weeks. I'm thinking of changing and doing Amalfi and Bellagio at the beginning and end of the trip (and fly out of Milan) This way they could join us and see Rome, Tuscany and Venice in the middle of our trip.

We would do a combination of train and car rental. Here are my questions. If we land in Rome after a overnight flight, is it possible to drive to the Amalfi area? I think a car from the airport would be quicker than getting a train.

Actually the bigger question is how much of your trip would you change to accommodate another couple?
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Old Aug 6th, 2008, 07:42 PM
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How much do you want their company on your vacation?

If you're dying to have them along, sure I might replan the itinerary order. If it's their idea to tag along and you're not so keen on it, nope I wouldn't change a thing.
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Old Aug 6th, 2008, 07:50 PM
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If you don't mind if they join you, but you like your itinerary 'as is', then the friends should make their way to where you are for the portion of the trip that they'll enjoy.

Have you traveled with them before? I'm not a social person and would find it very intrusive for someone to invite themselves to my vacation with my husband.
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Old Aug 6th, 2008, 07:50 PM
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I agree with suze. Also, have you traveled with these friends before? If you haven't and really want them go with you, I suggest a long weekend trip together to see if your traveling styles are compatible before you commit to two weeks in Italy.

Tom
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Old Aug 6th, 2008, 10:25 PM
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I agree with the others that you don't need to change your itinerary. They could choose to be in the same places you are for part of the trip, if that is their preference, but why spend two whole weeks together?
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Old Aug 6th, 2008, 10:45 PM
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Well rfbk50, it is getting a bit late here on the westcoast of the US but I see my westcoast Fodorites are thinking along the same lines that I am after just reading your question.

You say "now friends want to join us but only for two weeks". You didn't say "we invited friends to join us for two weeks". A big difference rfbk50.

To answer your bigger question "how much of your trip would you change to accommodate another couple?". I wouldn't rfbk50. Unless you AND your husband are overboard excited that this other couple wants to join you and from your post I do not get the impression that is the case I would just tell these friends that you two have your itinerary planned and IF they do travel to Italy and IF you four happen to be in the same city/town/area at the same time you would love to have dinner with them or whatever.

There is no way I would let guilt, feeling socially obligated or whatever interfere with the time in Italy with my husband. Best regards.
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Old Aug 6th, 2008, 11:00 PM
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It might be a moot point if you can't change your FF tickets to fly out of Milan.
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Old Aug 7th, 2008, 03:14 AM
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One other point to consider is that many people don't like to fly out of Venice because the flights are so early in the morning.
It doesn't seem that the adjustment to your itinerary would be very big

I agree with other posters it depends on how you feel about traveling with your friends vs as a couple to Rome/Tuscany/Venice portions. Having time on your own at the beginning and end of the trip seems a plus to me

Our experience with vacationing with family and friends is that it is good to establish at the beginning how independent you will be for sightseeing during the day. If you are staying in cities like Rome and Venice it is easy to split up. If you are in the countryside with one car that isn't possible. I would not want to travel with people who insisted on trying to spend all day every day together
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Old Aug 7th, 2008, 04:32 AM
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Sounds to me like if you're asking strangers on an internet board about this, you're balking inwardly, and unless it's a really easy and cheap to do, you're going to resent it big time and kick yourself -- or everybody else! -- for having the trip get hijacked this way.

As for the changes you're contemplating:

Rather than drive to the Amalfi after an overnight flight, I would shell out for a car service transfer from FCO, especially if you are going in heavy tourist season. If I wasn't relaxed about paying that extra cost to get the trip off to an optimal start, I wouldn't rearrange anything to accommodate the friends.

If your friends have two weeks in Italy, and you'll be there for 20, surely there is some point in the middle that you could aim to meet for an overnight. It's a small country. And if you end up missing each other in Italy, you can get together at home and share travel stories.

By the way, how does your husband feel about this? Is he enthused? Or leaving it up to you?

Sorry for your dilemma. Just recently I had to untangle myself from not one by two sets of dear friends who just kept insisting, that when I visited their area, I had to spend nights at their house or let them feed my supper -- despite their not having space for me in their house or it being totally inconvenient to my need to get moving to my next destination. I felt like I was going to lose cherished friendships unless I indulged the people at my expense -- it was just agony sticking up for my own priorities. I'm still not sure I threaded the needle.

Good luck!



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Old Aug 7th, 2008, 04:49 AM
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One more thought -- since this trip is next year, what are the chances of your friends changing their minds after you've rebooked your tickets?
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Old Aug 7th, 2008, 05:07 AM
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Hi rf,

> If we land in Rome after a overnight flight, is it possible to drive to the Amalfi area?

It is possible.

www.viamichelin.com says it is a 3:30 hr drive from Fiumicino to Amalfi.

That's at the edge of what I consider safe for driving in a strange country in a jet lagged condition.

Also, what do you do with the car when you get there?

I think that taking the train to Salerno and the ferry to Amalfi, would be much safer, no more difficult, and take about the same time as driving.

Train schedules are at www.trenitalia.com/en/index.html

Enjoy your visit with your friends.

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Old Aug 7th, 2008, 07:23 AM
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I think we would change our schedule if we wanted our friends to come along. Unless it's a trip of a lifetime that i've planned for a long time, then i would think twice about changing plans!

On the other hand If they invited themselves i wouldn't change a thing!
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Old Aug 7th, 2008, 07:39 AM
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>My husband and I were planning to do Rome, Amalfi, Tuscany, Bellagio and out of Venice. Now friends want to join us but only for two weeks.>

Since you and your husband were already planning this trip and now your friends want to join you, no need to restrucuture your itinerary to accommodate them since they only plan on joining you for 2 weeks. Let your friends structure their itinerary to accommodate yours.

Have a great trip.

jdc
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Old Aug 7th, 2008, 11:45 AM
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Do you think they will really join you? We have some friends who have said they were interested in meeting us or going with us on 3 occasions, we changed our itinerary on two trips and you guessed it....at the last minute they decided not to go. So? I probably would not change my plans to accomodate friends in the future, if they want to join us great, if our plans do not fit their plans, sorry. Only my opinion for what it's worth.
Susan
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Old Aug 7th, 2008, 03:33 PM
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As so many have said, they should arrange their time in Italy to fit your itinerary if they invited themselves. However, as a couple of people mentioned, you don't seem thrilled with having them come, and yes, how does your husband feel about it? If you really don't want them along at all, tell them you don't think it will work rather than having them ruin your trip.
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Old Aug 7th, 2008, 06:13 PM
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These people sound like they just invited themselves along on your trip. Unless they're VERY close friends that you really want to travel with I wouldn't touch my itinerary. I would just give them a copy of it and say - I hope we see you there - and we can have dinner.

I would change none of your arrangements - since who knows what they may feel like doing next week.
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Old Aug 7th, 2008, 07:00 PM
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Hi, RFBK - as other posters have said, I wouldn't change your itinerary. The fact that they can only come for two weeks only means that they need to either go at the beginning to share rides then, or at the end for the same reason; alternatively, if they go in the middle of your time in Italy, then they need to make their own way to wherever you will be at the time, none of which should be a deal-breaker. The clear advantage to this is that if they ultimately decide not to go, you haven't disturbed your plans, and as others have said since you don't sound enthusiastic about them joining you, why change your plans to begin with? Let them accommodate to you.
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Old Aug 7th, 2008, 07:06 PM
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For what its worth, we changed an intinerary for some friends who wanted to join us on a 2 week trip to italy and they bugged out a month ahead of time. Granted, we still had a great time but having something set, then changing it for someone else's tastes, etc didn't sit well with me. If they are dead set on going no matter what, that's one thing. If they waffle even a bit as you're planning, beware!
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