xxx

a friend and I are flying overseas soon and she is terrified of flying. any suggestions of how I can help her with her fear?

yyy

Have her find an opportunity to work with terminal cancer patients. One gains a different prospect of the meaning of life and death and more rationally think about her own fear.

Sandy

Here's a suggestion I picked up awhile back and it works for me. I've always had a fear of take offs and heard that when the left side of the brain is involved in doing something, the right side can't be fearful. When we begin taxing down the runway, I begin counting... 1-100, 2-100, 3-100, etc. The theory is, if you get to 50, the chance of crashing is slight. I count to 100! You really need to concentrate while counting or you lose "count" of where you are. It's amazing how well it works. I can't count and be fearful at the same time. The system doesn't work for the whole flight but it will alleviate the fear during take offs and landings.

tracy

Perhaps she should talk with her Dr. regarding a mild traquilizer? Also letting the stewards know if you think she might panic in flight. If she isnt that bad, perhaps a favorite book to read during the take-off/landing turbulance. Board games work well too. Good luck and have a great trip!

Ann

The major airlines run classes that help people overcome these fears. Just call the airline you're flying with.

Red

I went through a phase where I was just terrified of flying - mostly takeoffs - I would just shake and sob. I was also afraid of driving over bridges and overpasses. I think it was a symptom of some other stresses in my life as it went away rather suddenly and now I have absolutely no problem.<BR><BR>What I'm trying to say is that it may not be a fear of flying; it may be some other problem she is having that is manifesting itself in her fear of flying. Regardless, working it out with someone can only help.

Uncle Sam

Having been a fearful flyer for a number of year before I got a grip, I can understand this situation.<BR><BR>In my case, the fear was not neccessarily of flying, but of dying. Once I understood completely that if the plane went down and I persihed that I would be spending eternity in Heaven, then the fear was virtually eliminated.<BR><BR>I learned to trust God in the air the same way I did on the ground.<BR><BR>After that it is a quick prayer before takeoff and then forget about it. I'm safer with a relationship with God than without one.<BR><BR>US

Annie

Valium. I never go near the airport without it.

Jen

"The only thing worse than flying is not going anywhere." It's my mantra. I say it to myself when I get nervous on a flight. Sometimes it even works.

S. C.

Suddenly, in the middle of my life, I spent several years horrified of flying. I went to the library and checked out a book called THE FEARFUL FLYER’S HANDBOOK, it helped. I also made it a point to talk with several folks who were or who had been pilots, or members of a flight crew. I learned that many of those ominous noises were good things, the sound of the landing gear going up when it should, or the clunk it makes as it comes down before landing. I learned why the plane seems to stall at the apex of take-off (it reduces noise for folks living near the airport and it saves a ton of money because it conserves fuel at a specific time when the extra power simply isn’t required.<BR><BR>The wings are designed to actually thrive on turbulance and they're pre-tested endlessly.<BR><BR>All in all, it helped a great deal. I don’t love flying, by any means, but I can deal with it. I too am a big-time fan of Valium. It is a medication that does exactly what its supposed to do. It doesn’t make you drunk or sloppy, it simply relieves anxiety. If you're healthy most physicians will prescribe it without hesitation when they know how you feel about flying. Good luck. The fear can be overcome and I’m living proof of it.<BR>

CAgal

Have her take statistics 101.

Shanna

Red is onto something. Occasionally fears are manifestations of some other problem, especially one that a person has no control over. They can control getting on a plane and so they are working out the issue in a second-hand manner. Nonetheless, after working for the Accident Invetigation Branch at FAA HQ, I got REAL scared of flying, but also learned that the airlines are most safe, private pilots' lack of experience is a more likely cause of accidents, take off and landing are most problematical, and that pilots generally don't want to die either. On a more personal and spiritual level, there are folks who have passed on who I really want to see again. While I don't want to die - at least not yet - knowing that there will be welcoming arms for me totally shuts down the fear.

Chris Spoor

See whether she has any friends who have a private pilot's license. If so, have them take her for a spin in a twin-engine Cessna or Piper or the like.<BR><BR>My father had a Piper Cherokee, and when he took me flying, I was initially scared of all of the bouncing and bumping that was involved. But very quickly I realized that they were just a natural part of flying and didn't mean that the plane was about to fall out of the sky. That experience made me infinitely more relaxed about flying on jets; plus, those pilots have far more experience than my dad.<BR><BR>A private pilot could also take your friend through some touch-and-go landings (touch down and take off again right away). It's fascinating to watch close up, and it gets you used to the bouncing sensations of a hard landing--again, learning that it doesn't mean you're about to die.<BR><BR>If your friend doesn't know anyone with a pilot's license, perhaps she could purchase an hour or two's flight at a flight school at a small local airport. She wouldn't have to take a lesson herself; just explain that she wanted to become more familiar with flying.<BR><BR>Sometimes it's much less scary when you can see what's happening and why than when you're stuck in the middle of a large jet that's bouncing around and making unexplained noises.

Nina

One idea that helps me with turbulance:<BR>Remember when you are in a car and fell a bump in the road and you are jostled, it is only a minor bump and you think nothing of it. That same bump in the air evokes fear, try to compare the two. I don't think I am explaining it right, but it works for me sometimes.<BR>

maria

I leave in Argentina, this means that most of my flights abroad take 10 or 13 torturing hours. I have dealt with my panic of flying by taking half a pill of Rohypnol just before take-off. Yes, I know, but it's only once a year, twice at the most, and is the best way I found over the years to endure such long trips without the anxiety. If you go for this, take it easy the first hours after the flight, as you may feel sleepy.

xxx

I too have had my fear of flying moments. Sometimes it's not because of the actual fear of flying, but fear because the situation is beyond your control. Remind your friend that the pilot wants to get there safely just as much as she does, maybe even more so!

Rx

Yet another vote for... Valium! Don't leave home without it.

JB

Dea xxx,<BR><BR>I too used to be afraid of flying. I got over it by having a glass of wine to relax me and to think about how unlikely it is that anything would happen. It is way more likely that your friend would be killed in a car accident than a plane accident and it would be just as unpleasant.<BR><BR>That might help - but I agree with the rest, get some professional help and/or tranquillizers.

Jen

Nina, I know exactly what you mean. After driving around in a Jeep Wrangler for awhile and feeling every bump in the road, I noticed that I didn't mind the little bumps in the air as much.<BR><BR>Also, a friend of mine once spoke with a flight attendant who said she'd rather die in a plane crash than a car crash because it's a faster "way to go" and likely painless.

Pam

Does she drive a vehicle, that is the most dangerous thing one does everyday of their lives! She has more chance of crashing in the car, than on a plane.<BR>Find a way to distract her during take off and landing that's all. The rest is a piece of cake. I Love flying overseas.