111op

Well, you just wrote: "We'll initially only meet for lunch anyway. No promises after that point."

So it's still not clear. It seems like you might very well travel with him if things go well on your face-to-face meeting.

Don't know if that's such a good idea, but who knows if you can't be the Julie Delpy character in "Before Sunrise"? (The older guy is a bit too old to be Ethan Hawke.)

Anyway, your appetite for adventure could be larger than mine -- and all the power to you. I prefer to travel solo these days. I travel with my mom, and that's usually about it.

platzman

I'd like to know how you independently verified that this guy is who he says he is?
Geez! If you were my daughter, I'd be taking some nitroglycerin for chest pain right about now.

Marzipan

Well, it seems as if the Naysayers are suggesting that because there is no 100% sure way to make sure this guy is a nice and well intentioned person...that I should absoultely not even MEET him once in Europe.

I guess I am more adventurous, or more of a risk taker then some of you.

There is no way to make certain he is a good guy. Even if we spend the whole 2 weeks together and have a blast....he could still rob me the last night!

But, like the one poster said...'nothing ventured, nothing gained'.

To the concerned dad's...I know kung fu, will be cautious, and will NOT place myself in risky scenario's with ANY stranger.

francophile03

The o.p. is confusing. The heading says "Meeting a travel companion online: a good idea? " . Most people said 'No', but that was not the answer she is looking for.

111op

Marzipan: "Even if we spend the whole 2 weeks together and have a blast....he could still rob me the last night!"

That's true. Actually this thread and something else I read got me thinking today. I think that the risk is actually separation rage. If you spend two weeks together and he falls in love with you, he may not be able to bear the separation.

Of course, I'm joking.

But I think that the possibility of stalking or a crime of rage is more likely, and usually happens when two people break up after becoming attached. Initially you've so little invested that it's hard to see what can go wrong unless you're dealing with a psycho (and the possibility is remote if you're careful).

suze

Well Marzipan, only since you asked... what is confusing about your post is you asked about a "travel companion" then later stated, well of course you had no plans to share a room with him or anything. Most often that is what people mean when they refer to a traveling companion.

I agree with those who said you already had your mind made up before posting so I'm not sure what you are expecting from us.

If you are young and adventurous and already know all the safety precautions blah blah blah, what kind of advice exactly were you looking for from this post?

Marzipan

I used the term "travel companion" meaning a person I might spend time with and explore with while on my trip.

The replies I was hoping for would be just advice, and suggestions. I ahve received those, so thank you very much to everyone!

I don't have my mind made up...My trip is not til Januray and I only just met this guy. I feel like I have time to feel him out somewhat and decide if he'll be someone I even want to meet while overseas.

Marzipan

P.S. I figured I would decide (WE would decide) whether or not we'd spend more time together after the intial meeting, once we have met....so he might NOT be a "companion" so much as a "date"??

Leely

Well, by all means, go on the date. Why wouldn't you? Dates are fun.

By the way, I travel solo and do NOT call home. Pretty darn adventurous, huh?

So, where are you going? Maybe we can make restaurant recs that aren't anywhere near dark alleys.

suze

Sure then. I think if you had said something like, should I meet my internet penpal in Paris for drinks and dinner?, you would have received very different answers.

111op

Right, so you say: "I figured I would decide (WE would decide) whether or not we'd spend more time together after the intial meeting...."

Not that my advice really matters, but I'd not travel with him under any circumstances. But in your position, if we hit it off, I'd meet him again further into the trip. Meeting casually, a couple of times, is fine.

(Maybe even a roll in the sack. Just kidding.)

But working out the logistics of an actual trip while you're on the trip is probably going to be a nightmare, in my opinion.

suze

Call us crazy, but like Leely, I do NOT call home. Woo hoo!

111op

Hey Leely, didn't you like my French pickup lines too?

Maybe we should meet and have a date. But I vaguely recall you're married and live in SF.

I'm just joking.

Leely

suze,
I have to confess I might actually call home if I could figure out how to dial internationally.

111op, no I'm not married, but I would never make a date with someone I'd "met" online. I think that's completely disgusting.

(kidding, marzipan.)

gertie3751

Marzipan, bet you're thinking 'sorry I asked'. Just to put in my two pennorth:
Go go go, I would.

111op

"suze,
I have to confess I might actually call home if I could figure out how to dial internationally."

Chuckle. I tend to be cheap and not buy phone cards (and I don't know how to use them anyway). I don't know why there're so few coin-operated phones.

I wonder why I thought you're married, Leely. Thanks for clearing that up for me. But I think you're in the Bay Area, but love, as you know, knows no boundaries.

(Kidding again.)

Kavey

I have met many, many, many online friends, some who I haven't particularly corresponded with but met via a forum like this and have not met any nutters yet!

But I do tend to take care about where I meet when I'm on my own and meeting a male online friend as opposed to a female one. Also, I tend to meet people on my home turf, here in London, which is perhaps less stressful than meeting in a city that I don't know my way around fully.

But I really don't think there's too much to worry about in meeting for an initial date.

As for whether you'll be able to tell whether he will make a suitable longer term travelling companion on the basis of only an hour or two... I don't know. Personally, I'd think not, and I'm usually fairly perceptive about people I meet face to face, but only you can decide.

One thing I do want to comment on though is that it's a WHOLE lot easier relaxing and making friends (and even romances) in an environment such as a Contiki tour than it is doing the same thing when travelling independently with a stranger one knows little about.

On a group tour there are others around, including the tour manager and individuals usually get to know each other initially within the safety of the group. I too have had a holiday romance in this setting, though not one I wanted to continue after the trip but I do think this is a safer situation in which to meet people than solo/ independent travel.

At the end of the day, though, only you can decide how best to manage this and whether or not you think you'll be able to judge this guy for real based on an hour or two date.

Leely

Kavey, shame on you! I know you're married. I can only hope that this torrid, tawdry Contiki romance was well before you met your current husband.

And please get back on the Africa board where we need you.

SuzieC

I was attending a meeting. I was flirting with this one fellow, lets call him Engelbert.
When I get home, I got an "IM" (the olden days of AOL) announcing that it is Englebert under his screenname and chatting away.
He invites me to lunch. Me, anticipating to see Engelbert arrive at the restaurant looking around...no Engelbert.
I see a wave. Huh? "Where's Engelbert?"
"Er...um..err..." she says, "I am Engerbert online, but I really wanted to get to know YOU better..."
Uh-huh! So? I did ask what she thought she was doing and I'll paraphrase here, "messing with someone like that"?
I told her I wasn't interested, as there was no point to it at all, for me.

Kavey

Leely, LOL, yes it was some years before I met him...