LOL - Although this would be funnier if I had not asked some of these questions.

I want to traipse around Bavaria in an authenic dirndl with my DH wearing lederhosen. Where can I buy one? How much is the beer?

How can I get:-

- a free upgrade.

- someone else's aisle seat (even though I couldn't be arsed to book one in advance).

- twice as much baggage allowance as the rest of the plane.

- someone to dump my kids for the entire trip.

PS Oyster Cards and TrenItalia!

PPS - Ziplock bags!

People who don't mind spending 55+ euro getting from the airport to the hotel, but thown a fit if their bank charges them a $2 fee to use their ATM card.

Im looking to travel through Europe in 2009 and i wanted to know the best places to go

We are "carry on only" travelers and proud of it. It is the only way to travel.

Am I allowed a backpack, carry-on, computer, purse, garment bag, tripod, camera case and duty-free bag on my flight from Topeka, through Kennedy, transfer at Heathrow to Venice via CDG?

[You should really try it. The freedom it gives you not having to wait at the baggage claim]

Is the water safe to drink?

Should I have paid to have my passport processing expedited...I still have two weeks until my trip?

"Are we crazy for planning a trip to Italy?"

Uh, dunno. What was the diagnosis before you left home?

Yeah, you're mad as a loon. A daredevil. Weeee. Don't know what you could possibly be thinking.

Hilarious!

"Do I have to wear black in Paris?"

"I'm claustrophobic should I go to the catacombs?"

"I want to take a tour of the sewers in Paris, does it smell that bad?"

"I just wanted to wander around the lobby of the Ritz and take pictures, and they were soo rude to me!"

"I'm looking for a nice, clean, central hotel in Paris. Money is not a concern." Then later, "Oh my gosh, no I don't want to spend more than $200 per night."

"That waiter was so rude he wouldn't bring me the check! He must hate Americans."

I don't want to look like a tourist.

Yes I want to blend in, even though I don't speak the language, don't look like the locals, will be at tourist sites, will take pictures of said sites and will be following a tour guide carrying a flag.

At least I'm not wearing one of those horrible, tacky, ugly fanny packs (aka waist packs) that eat your soul. No one will ever know I'm an American tourist.

How will the weather be in (insert any place in Europe) (insert any date more than 2 weeks in advance)?
Answer: How on Earth are we supposed to know? Ask St Peter, he is said to be in charge of the weather.

Is a single room large enough to accommodate four people?

I want the Whole White Christmas Magic - will it snow in (insert name of big city)?

I'm going to (insert name of city or even country) - what is there to do? Or even better: is there anything to do?
Answer: Why are you wasting money and effort to go to a place if you have no idea what to do there?

How do yjey learn that accent in France?

We are going to Europe with our infant (6 mos), toddler (18 mos) and I will be 3 mos pregnant at the time.

What is there to do that will interest the kids?
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My 7-yr old is a picky eater. Restaurant suggestions, please.
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We will be flying with our 1-yr old to VCE via JFK and LHR.

Will they let us bring her car seat, travel bed, stroller, playpen and toy box with us on the plane? We hate to have checked luggage.

I paid €3 for my Ryanair flight, but they want me to pay excess baggage on my 75lbs of luggage.

Will I fall foul of English soccer hooligans?

Can I do Pompeii as a daytrip from __?

My favourite "not made up". I went to Italy and everything was shut in the afternoon. Why can't these Europeans "get with the program"? Don't they realise they are losing business.

Gypsies, Muslims, The French.

I am visiting ______ out of season/on Sunday/at midnight - will it be open?

Over 100 posts and nobody has yet mentioned the recurring "what brand of luggage should I buy?" question.

One topic that has fallen out of the hit parade is "can I wear shorts and a bikini top in Italian churches?" (It's a separate concern from GSteed's opener: "travel attire".)

But the real hot topic, if one is to judge it on post-count, is "bookmarking".

In "Rick's book", Rick says "_____________!

I found the best breakfast in Paris!

Oops. Somebody already did that one.