lia_b

Thank you for making me laugh today. Boy can I relate. I think we can look back at these moments and laugh about them now.

Some classics that caused numerous arguments or annoying exchanges probably to innocent bystanders were:

At 3:00 a.m., on the way to the airport from which we have left out of many times, DH to me: Do you remember which highway goes there?

Packing a 5 pound book that would never be read into a carryon for a long weekend trip.

Buying a 5 foot bird cage in Tijuana. We did not own a bird.

Forgetting our formal wear for a cruise because we were again packing the five pound book into the carryon.

Forgetting all collared shirts for a week's vacation that included dinners requiring them. Then having to purchase shirts at resort prices. This is why when you are solo it does not matter. It is solely your $$$. Otherwise, you have to see what a waste of $$ this is.

And that reminds me, receiving a $1100 cruise ship bill for shops and spa. Most of which were charged by DH!

Leaving shoes at beach and yelling at me for not noticing that he had left them.

Overpacking and causing last minute shuffling at the counter.

Yes, and I know about the last minute coffee or bathroom trip. Now I give him the boarding pass and passport. If he does not make it back. It's his problem. No, we cannot wait until we are at our hotel 6 hours later to bring it up. It loses its effect. Lol!

I travel a lot on my own or with business partners. I honestly could care less whether they miss the plane or not. When I vacation with my family the point is to spend it with them, which is why we argue. People only argue about stuff they care about otherwise what is the point.

jenblase

DH and I had traveled frequently together, but never to Europe, til our 2.5 week trip last year to Switzerland and France. Things went pretty swimmingly until our last 3 days when we were in Nice. I think it was a combo of the language barrier, homesickness, and a bout with food poisoning he'd had earlier in the trip, but after two and a half weeks he'd had enough.

Things came to a head when, on our first full day in Nice, I spent a good hour sulking on the promenade because he couldn't decide what he should do and I was "tired of making all of the decisions." I told him to tell me what he wanted to do or we'd just sit there. Eventually he walked back to the hotel and left me there. And this was on his birthday, no less. Looking back I realize I was being petulant and I'm embarassed about this incident. But I was just frustrated because I was the one coming up with all of the ideas the entire trip and he contributed nothing (and of course this goes for all of the pre-trip planning too) .

He thinks that 17 days in Europe was too much... so now our future trips are limited to 14 or less. I hope he's right that it was just the duration of the trip that made us both cranky. Fingers crossed!

GreenDragon

LLindaC, you may just be right. We've already determined that any vacations in the future are EITHER me and friends OR me and DH, never both. I was asked by K, C, and my mom and dad if he always backseat drives that much, or just on vacation? Or the complaints? I told them it was a little higher than normal, but not by much. Which is why he always drives at home. He can't on vacation, the driver seat usually is too small for his knees.

I've learned that every third day or so DH needs a day alone to himself. As long as I can escape (and not waste precious vacation time) that's fine. But if I'm stuck with him, I go stircrazy. I didn't travel 3000 miles to sit around, sleep, or watch TV, I can do that at home!

Weadles

I've learned so much from these responses, so thank you thank you thank you!! I've also laughed so hard that my kids actually heard me through their i-pod earphones. So again, thank you!

carolyn

Besides, LLinda, he is so good looking!

My husband and I don't argue much, either on vacation or at home. My problem is that he doesn't much like to travel. Fortunately, my daughter does, and she is my favorite travel partner. We are almost always on the same wavelength, but if one of us wants to do something the other doesn't, we just separate and go our own way.

jenblase

I also spent 2 days by myself in Paris. One of the days it was because DH had food poisoning, the other was because I wanted to do some jewelry shopping and didn't want to drag him along. I spent both days just riding the Metro, walking miles and miles, and exploring Paris on my own. I stopped in cafes and drank wine, and brought pastries to the park. Those 2 days may have been some of the best of my trip. (sigh)

Weadles

jenblase,

I can relate to your posts so well, only the last time we were in Paris, it was me who was sick with food poisoning, and my husband who wandered around Paris for two days on his own.

We also spent a very jetlagged day in Nice unable to decide whether to sleep or forge on. He wanted to go back to the hotel, and I wanted to forge on. In the end, we compromised by eating lots of gelato,which kept us awake for hours!

plafield

Reading these posts, I'm so grateful that my husband and I travel extremely well together and rarely have disagreements about anything. He loves that I'm the organized planner and is very happy to just let me take the lead. In return, if he's taken with an idea, or desire to stop somewhere on the spur of the moment, I always happily oblige. I do the packing, he does the shlepping. We have an easy division of labor!

He has a low most days, late in afternoon, so we usually plan to be back at our hotel so he can take a little nap. I'm the energizer bunny type and never nap so I either use the time to journal or he goes back to hotel without me and I wander on my own and we meet up at a designated time.

Fortunately, we like the same food, get hungry at the same time, enjoy the same activities and really want the other to enjoy the vacation. It's a good recipe.

schlegal1

Lia_b: the 5-foot bird cage made me truly LOL.

abram

We're a pretty good match when it comes to travelling. We like to do/see the same things, eat the same food, function on the same schedule; I love trip planning, and he has no interest in it.

But he's very good natured when things don't work out as planned and I'm being hard on myself--he'll say, you read three guidebooks that all said this (fill in the blank) was open today--don't beat yourself up because it isn't.

When things go significantly wrong, or we get lost, we can get a little testy with each other--but it usually passes quickly.

On one ski stip, after storming off (can you storm off on skis?), and going back to the hotel, I started carrying my own room key--but have never needed it since then.

Hagan

We do great if it's just the two of us, but add one more person, like my brother, and it all goes out the window! We've also had trouble traveling with another couple.

It seems DH can be qute content when he has all of my attention AND all is going according to plan, but let me turn my head to listen or talk to someone else too often, or have a few things go wrong, and it's not pretty! That's when the ugly, petulant little boy comes out. On those trips, I come home vowing never to plan another trip with him.

Of course, that only lasts a few days and I just sign right up for more. After 45 years, it's a difficult habit to change.

eslrachel

may i make a suggestion?the best way to diffuse ITS for me is by being away from each other for the day or surround yourselves with otherpeople-locals /in july my husband and i dropped off a daughter in salamanca spain to study for 2 weeks...that left us a lot of time alone... uh oh..i went to a localyokel travel agency and asked what kind of tours they offer... a few days later we were on a mercedes bus to portugal with 50 spaniards.we spent one week on the beautiful coast,hotel paid ,3 plentiful meals a day and optional daily tours available for 200 euros each!!!

mnapoli

My husband and are incredibly good travel partners -- however, we usually end up in a huge fight while preparing for a trip. The packing and list making and document preparing take a toll. After we actually depart, everything is fine!

momlyn

Our disconnect happens AFTER we get home-

He tends to remember the bad things, and I can talk for hours about all the good stuff, totally forgetting the little annoyances etc.

(of course he did come home from out trip to Ecuador with pneumonia and needing a knee operation

Weadles

I think it's often hard to come back from vacation, unless you've had a really bad time, which, hopefully, is rare. I can't imagine what it would be like to come home with pneumonia and needing a knee operation on top of the usual back- to-reality stuff!

sueciv

My husband is European and he doesn't get all excited like I (the American) do. It doesn't tarnish my excitement. But ever so often the been there, done that attitude pinches me a bit.

That and his taking off in another direction and I don't know where he is. I just have to look around for the tallest white haired feller around...but we usually find a cafe, order an expresso or a glass or wine and world is in the right place again. LOL...

widespreadpanic

Love this thread (except for the SOB reference - what possesses people to name-call?), and can relate to a lot of it. I have pulled some doozies on vacation, and my BF, while steamed, has never yelled at me. My jewelry was in the hotel safe while we were close to the airport (1/2 hr away) at 5:00 am, necessitating waking up security, paying to drill open the safe and transport the bag to the airport, where we were waiting, hoping we would still have time to catch our plane from Istanbul home. Another time I forgot my purse in a cab, only realizing it after we arrived at the airport and were waiting in the check in line. He reminds me of these lapses occasionally, mortifying me, but I am learning to double and triple check (PARTICULARLY my jewelry and purse) prior to leaving.

jewela

Very funny thread.....

Like Suze....I travel alone most of the time. I do talk to myself though, but I try not to argue.

sheila

The bird cage reminds me of the feennel wood stool we brought home from Yeroskipou in Cyprus!

Weadles

I guess I tried to block it out, but widespread panic just reminded me that last summer, I left my overnight bag containing all my daughter's prescription asthma inhalers and emergency meds at Izmir Airport in Turkey. Of course I didn't realize it until we had checked into our hotel, two hours away! All of this necessitated a very expensive trip back to the airport, with steamed husband accompanying me. Luckily, officials at the airport were incredibly helpful, had actually found the bag, and brought it to the Lost and Found. We filled out a zillion forms, and were on our way back to the hotel, when my husband said, "Uh-oh. I think I left my passport on their desk." Thankfully,it turned out he was wrong! Passport was inbetween the seats of the dark car!