Irritable Travel Syndrome-Do you have it, too?
Aug 7th, 2008, 02:38 PM
#61
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And to llamalady,
I'm still laughing over the bird cage, too!!
Don't even get me started on all the "prized possessions" I've brought back from our trips, including a gorgeous lamp from Santorini ( well, I thought it was gorgeous!) that tripped out all the lights in our house.
I'm still laughing over the bird cage, too!!
Don't even get me started on all the "prized possessions" I've brought back from our trips, including a gorgeous lamp from Santorini ( well, I thought it was gorgeous!) that tripped out all the lights in our house.
Aug 7th, 2008, 03:38 PM
#62
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There are silver linings to those dark coulds of "irritalbe travel syndrome".
While traveling with two other couples, we sent the husbands out for a 6 pack of beer and some waters at 11PM. At 3 in the morning, they had not returned. I always carry my own passport, but for reasons I cannot remember, my passport was around my husband's neck in his pouch. I was worried sick about what could have happened to them, but really worried about how I would get his body home if they had stumbled into a canal and if my passport were lost.
I walked the floor all night trying to decide how and what I would tell the police and at what point I would call them.
They stumbled in at 4 AM as happy as clams. They had gone to Bacaro Jazz, got in a conversation with some locals and the owner and had great night. Never mind that the wives were hysterical, and there was no water for us. Only their better judgment stopped them from taking a boat to Lido to have breakfast at someone's house.
I could not even look at him, much less speak to him, the entire next day. I was seething. That afternoon, when we had all cooled down, they talked us into going to Bacaro Jazz for 2 for l drinks. We loved it.
We have been to Venice many times since and always go back there. We have replaced 3 three sets of T-shirts for the guys from the bacaro. It is our special happy place!!
While traveling with two other couples, we sent the husbands out for a 6 pack of beer and some waters at 11PM. At 3 in the morning, they had not returned. I always carry my own passport, but for reasons I cannot remember, my passport was around my husband's neck in his pouch. I was worried sick about what could have happened to them, but really worried about how I would get his body home if they had stumbled into a canal and if my passport were lost.
I walked the floor all night trying to decide how and what I would tell the police and at what point I would call them.
They stumbled in at 4 AM as happy as clams. They had gone to Bacaro Jazz, got in a conversation with some locals and the owner and had great night. Never mind that the wives were hysterical, and there was no water for us. Only their better judgment stopped them from taking a boat to Lido to have breakfast at someone's house.
I could not even look at him, much less speak to him, the entire next day. I was seething. That afternoon, when we had all cooled down, they talked us into going to Bacaro Jazz for 2 for l drinks. We loved it.
We have been to Venice many times since and always go back there. We have replaced 3 three sets of T-shirts for the guys from the bacaro. It is our special happy place!!
Aug 7th, 2008, 04:20 PM
#63
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My husband and I bicker sometimes on vacation. It's usually only about stress about getting lost. I'm also grouchy when hungry - and he's very grouchy when he's hungry!
Even with the bickering, I would never pick to travel solo v. traveling with him, except to art museums. For places like the American West, we are extremely compatable.
I can't say I ever need time away from him on vacation, except if I want to browse a bookstore or visit an art museum.
Even with the bickering, I would never pick to travel solo v. traveling with him, except to art museums. For places like the American West, we are extremely compatable.
I can't say I ever need time away from him on vacation, except if I want to browse a bookstore or visit an art museum.
Aug 7th, 2008, 04:22 PM
#64
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Weadles: Funny, funny question! Thanks for your post!
It's taken us a long time to work out our secret and sacred peace treaty...our vow to have fun on vacation! The way we do it: we discuss in advance, before we leave, the things that normally cause fights. We work it out ahead of time.
For example: Money: My husband doesn't get to see the cost of the trip until it is over...it works!!! By then he doesn't care as it's already spent.
And very important: I'm the planner, so I plan some time for my husband to go off exploring on his own, while I take the time to write in my journal. Our daughters take the time for napping.
then we're ready to take on the world again!
Have fun everyone!
It's taken us a long time to work out our secret and sacred peace treaty...our vow to have fun on vacation! The way we do it: we discuss in advance, before we leave, the things that normally cause fights. We work it out ahead of time.
For example: Money: My husband doesn't get to see the cost of the trip until it is over...it works!!! By then he doesn't care as it's already spent.
And very important: I'm the planner, so I plan some time for my husband to go off exploring on his own, while I take the time to write in my journal. Our daughters take the time for napping.
then we're ready to take on the world again!
Have fun everyone!
Aug 7th, 2008, 04:27 PM
#65
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We make sure we have some time out from each other, especially as our trips tend to be a minimum of four weeks. Not bragging here, it's just that it's so expensive to fly to Europe from Australia that we tend to stay longer. We are awful at shopping together, so if I want to shop, HB heads off to do something else for a 1/2 day.
The only time things get really tense, is when we hire a car!! Doesn't matter if we have GPS or not.
The only time things get really tense, is when we hire a car!! Doesn't matter if we have GPS or not.
Aug 7th, 2008, 04:41 PM
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I'm very lucky as my husband loves to travel, as I do, and we are very compatible on our travels. I am the organizer and navigator, he is the linguist.
I'm the one that occasionally get irritable - usually when my blood sugar levels are getting low. DH is getting quite skilled in picking up the early warning symptoms of this and hauling me off to the nearest cafe to top up. But also he is a very calm person and knows that once I've let off steam about something, I'll soon calm down and start being happy and practical again.
His bad habits? Not listening to me at the packing stage and then having to go shopping during the trip (and he always finds what he wants on sale!). And tempting me into having far too much good food and wine! Plus the ratbag
can sleep anywhere and I can't!
But all-in-all we are great travel companions and are just counting down the days to our biggest trip ever - six weeks in Europe, leaving in a couple of weeks time.
I'm the one that occasionally get irritable - usually when my blood sugar levels are getting low. DH is getting quite skilled in picking up the early warning symptoms of this and hauling me off to the nearest cafe to top up. But also he is a very calm person and knows that once I've let off steam about something, I'll soon calm down and start being happy and practical again.
His bad habits? Not listening to me at the packing stage and then having to go shopping during the trip (and he always finds what he wants on sale!). And tempting me into having far too much good food and wine! Plus the ratbag
can sleep anywhere and I can't!But all-in-all we are great travel companions and are just counting down the days to our biggest trip ever - six weeks in Europe, leaving in a couple of weeks time.
Aug 7th, 2008, 06:10 PM
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I vowed never to navigate again after trying to read village and road signs in german that were at least 20 characters long while zipping along the autobahn at 160kph...if we don't have a NeverLost in the rental, I won't get in! We dub her 'sophie' or him 'thomas' and never seem to get lost anymore!!
Aug 7th, 2008, 06:13 PM
#68
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Some great stories here. My neighbour had a funny one. Whilst driving in France his wife was navigating. As he approached a turn off he asked her "Which road do we take?". She looked at her map and replied "The red one". OMG, I died laughing!
Aug 7th, 2008, 06:27 PM
#69
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Well - this might take the cake. DH was working in Germany and our son joined him for a week of skiing over spring break while he was in high school. DH's travel desk booked a hotel for them near the Frankfurt airport the night before their return flight that he'd never stayed at before. While they were driving from Zermatt to Frankfurt airort, they got lost trying to find the hotel...DH was livid that our son didn't know how to get there!! Like he was supposed to have arrived a day early, scoped out the hotel's location and then met up with his dad! Again...nevermore without neverlost!
Aug 8th, 2008, 03:36 AM
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And nobody's mentioned children. A favourite story I heard about was about a cheerful family party sauntering off the beach, only to be seen a few minutes later, led by a very red-faced child, and a tight-lipped father saying "Now show Daddy EXACTLY where you buried the car keys".
Aug 8th, 2008, 04:36 AM
#71
If you can't be honest with your Fodor friends, why bother? I hate the threads where everyone talks about how perfect their kids are, their relationships are, their in-laws are, and their vacations are. Maybe they are, but I think for most of us life is just a tiny bit less than perfect.
I do love my family, but I confess I also love my solo travel.
We've found the girls and I do fine together, or Dad and the girls do fine, or Mom and Dad alone do fine. Put us all together, and there is definitely a blow-out somewhere along the way - especially if there is driving involved and my husband is behind the wheel with a map - watch out!!
Family life can be complicated, and with teenagers you are basically dealing with opinions and moods just like adults but perhaps with a bit less filter.
When the children were little, we did what we had in mind, and they trailed along, and we all were quite happy.
Two teenagers who are tired, bored, and cranky on top of two parents who are also tired can be tricky.
With our family, hunger is a dangerous issue - we have learned not to postpone the meal "until after this museum" or "when we get to Malaga" because it is a bad, bad idea.
Lately, I've been traveling with just my daughters and then just my husband. It works out a lot better.
I've learned my husband needs to "exercise" or he is just not happy and perhaps a little stressed out. Also, I try to minimize the European coffee he gets...
He wanted to "go to Provence" for our anniversary this fall and I think he pictured a romantic drive from village to village. Well, I've done this type of thing with him before and know he doesn't really enjoy it and it's not fun for me either. At my urging, we chose a resort with a gym and golf and we'll do some "Provence" day trips from there. It's not my perfect trip, but we'll be together and we won't get tired and cranky and yell at each other. The whole point is to have pleasant time together, and after 21 years I've finally wised up and learned how we can both be happy.
He can do sports until he's worn out, I can relax and look at the scenery without feeling I'm boring him, and together we can enjoy wonderful food and some romance together.
gruezi
I do love my family, but I confess I also love my solo travel.
We've found the girls and I do fine together, or Dad and the girls do fine, or Mom and Dad alone do fine. Put us all together, and there is definitely a blow-out somewhere along the way - especially if there is driving involved and my husband is behind the wheel with a map - watch out!!
Family life can be complicated, and with teenagers you are basically dealing with opinions and moods just like adults but perhaps with a bit less filter.
When the children were little, we did what we had in mind, and they trailed along, and we all were quite happy.
Two teenagers who are tired, bored, and cranky on top of two parents who are also tired can be tricky.
With our family, hunger is a dangerous issue - we have learned not to postpone the meal "until after this museum" or "when we get to Malaga" because it is a bad, bad idea.
Lately, I've been traveling with just my daughters and then just my husband. It works out a lot better.
I've learned my husband needs to "exercise" or he is just not happy and perhaps a little stressed out. Also, I try to minimize the European coffee he gets...
He wanted to "go to Provence" for our anniversary this fall and I think he pictured a romantic drive from village to village. Well, I've done this type of thing with him before and know he doesn't really enjoy it and it's not fun for me either. At my urging, we chose a resort with a gym and golf and we'll do some "Provence" day trips from there. It's not my perfect trip, but we'll be together and we won't get tired and cranky and yell at each other. The whole point is to have pleasant time together, and after 21 years I've finally wised up and learned how we can both be happy.
He can do sports until he's worn out, I can relax and look at the scenery without feeling I'm boring him, and together we can enjoy wonderful food and some romance together.
gruezi
Aug 8th, 2008, 05:07 AM
#72
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gruezi,
Thank you so much for your post! You have perfectly described the dynamics between me and my husband, too. My only problem ( or one of them) is that I often romanticize how things will turn out when we travel together, despite the fact that I should know better by now.
Of course Mr. Can't Keep Still at the Movies would like to sit at a cafe in Nice and sip wine for hours! Of course (just for the fun of it) I'd like to practically walk back to the airport from our hotel in Rome!
Our different travel styles have caused some friction over the years, but also supplied a lot of laughs, surprises, and excellent memories.
Thank you so much for your post! You have perfectly described the dynamics between me and my husband, too. My only problem ( or one of them) is that I often romanticize how things will turn out when we travel together, despite the fact that I should know better by now.
Of course Mr. Can't Keep Still at the Movies would like to sit at a cafe in Nice and sip wine for hours! Of course (just for the fun of it) I'd like to practically walk back to the airport from our hotel in Rome!
Our different travel styles have caused some friction over the years, but also supplied a lot of laughs, surprises, and excellent memories.
Aug 8th, 2008, 08:14 AM
#74
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Weadles:
I too romanticize our trips ahead of time too. Sometimes our trips to Europe seem like a "military march". DH is very active and can't sit still too long. His response is always "What Now", even at home.
In Florence, when he wanted to climb, yet another, tower in the Duomo (sp), I sent him on his way and I went walking and window shopping, then sat at an outdoor cafe and just people watched. It was very calming.
I too romanticize our trips ahead of time too. Sometimes our trips to Europe seem like a "military march". DH is very active and can't sit still too long. His response is always "What Now", even at home.
In Florence, when he wanted to climb, yet another, tower in the Duomo (sp), I sent him on his way and I went walking and window shopping, then sat at an outdoor cafe and just people watched. It was very calming.
Aug 8th, 2008, 08:37 AM
#75
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Sue878,
Our husbands would be great traveling buddies! We visited Budapest in the spring, and when I complained that I needed to stop after walking for nearly five hours, he replied, "But we're only here until Monday." !!!
Our husbands would be great traveling buddies! We visited Budapest in the spring, and when I complained that I needed to stop after walking for nearly five hours, he replied, "But we're only here until Monday." !!!
Aug 8th, 2008, 08:48 AM
#76
A man on this board - colduphere maybe? - once said something like, "beautiful scenery is nice but after a few minutes, it's like 'okay, what's next?'
That about sums up my whole family and I think a lot of men.
I could look at a beautiful view all day and never tire of sighing over it.
I'm never climbing another church tower, and neither are my 2 daughters. They did climb one in Seville to be nice to Dad, but fortunately I was exempt.
We have a joke, "are we taking a walk or are we exercising?" Husband is hoping it will be exercise, I am hoping it will be a stroll past scenic views and that I'll never break a sweat.
gruezi
gruezi
That about sums up my whole family and I think a lot of men.
I could look at a beautiful view all day and never tire of sighing over it.
I'm never climbing another church tower, and neither are my 2 daughters. They did climb one in Seville to be nice to Dad, but fortunately I was exempt.
We have a joke, "are we taking a walk or are we exercising?" Husband is hoping it will be exercise, I am hoping it will be a stroll past scenic views and that I'll never break a sweat.
gruezi
gruezi
Aug 8th, 2008, 09:10 AM
#77
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Has this happened to you? You're doing your mediocre best as a navigator, keeping two fingers on the map and looking up only briefly, and your loved one says, "Look out the window! You're missing the scenery!" Followed very soon by, "Where do we go now? For Pete's sake, keep your eyes on the map!"
I'm not complaining. He drives like a champ in city or country and if we're lost, it's usually somewhere scenic.
I'm not complaining. He drives like a champ in city or country and if we're lost, it's usually somewhere scenic.
Aug 8th, 2008, 10:07 AM
#78
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I'd like to say my husband and I don't argue or bicker when on vacation, but . . well, it wouldn't be true.
As many posters have noted, it's usually related to hunger, getting lost, or running late for something. Most of the time, though, we're happy just be on vacation.
A side note, though. I love to watch the TV show, The Amazing Race. My sister and I agree that we could NEVER in a million years do this show with our husbands; maybe, just maybe, with someone else as a travel partner. With lots of money involved, tough tasks, time constraints, etc., we would be the contestants bickering and annoyed/angry with the other. I wish it weren't true, but I just know it is. The world will never know, though, 'cuz I'm never going there!
As many posters have noted, it's usually related to hunger, getting lost, or running late for something. Most of the time, though, we're happy just be on vacation.
A side note, though. I love to watch the TV show, The Amazing Race. My sister and I agree that we could NEVER in a million years do this show with our husbands; maybe, just maybe, with someone else as a travel partner. With lots of money involved, tough tasks, time constraints, etc., we would be the contestants bickering and annoyed/angry with the other. I wish it weren't true, but I just know it is. The world will never know, though, 'cuz I'm never going there!
Aug 10th, 2008, 12:45 PM
#79
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No. My husband and I (18+ years married) don't argue on vacation - we enjoy the location, culture, food, and wine of the places we visit. In fact, after coming back from a vacation, we often go through withdrawal from each other when we need to go back to work. I sure hope that we don't start acting like children after another 8 years of marriage.
Aug 10th, 2008, 01:25 PM
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Loved the question in the original post...as many have noted, our most trying moments involve navigation. I can almost guarantee that we will raise our voices to each other in the first 20 minutes of getting into a rental car. One of our favorite lines to each other is "I don't know where X is dear, I've never been here". After we arrive at our destination, all is well and we have a great time.
