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How To Get Robbed In Barcelona

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How To Get Robbed In Barcelona

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Old Aug 29th, 2007 | 03:32 AM
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How To Get Robbed In Barcelona

Being robbed in Barcelona seems a topic of many posts on this forum, so I thought I thought I'd offer some unasked-for advice on the matter:

1* No matter how you normally dress at home, I suggest a more upbeat appearance while in Barcelona. If you have an old Hawaiian shirt, then that would be ideal. (If you do not have such a shirt, then buy one!) Team the shirt with big, baggy shorts. Footwear is optional, but fluorescent pink Crocs are recommended. A hat with a sign indicating that you are a visitor to these here parts gets extra points. (First Cautionary Note: Do not have a Canadian Flag anywhere near you. There are posts which indicate that this action will make a visitor immune from personal attack and/or robbery while in Europe. Therefore, if you want to be robbed, do not display a Canadian Flag about your person. Even if you are Canadian. ESPECIALLY if you are Canadian. And I don't want to have to mention this again.)
2* Now that your attire shouts 'tourist' and 'Please rob me!', it's time to consider accompanying gear. Buy the most ostentatious belt-bag you can find. Wear it at the rear. Make sure that it is unzipped so that any valuable gear (cameras, wallet etc) can be easily seen. Go into the busiest markets near Las Ramblas and ask your companions to get money from your bag so that you can buy 'quaint' artifacts. Ask them loudly.
You may substitute a day-pack for the belt-bag, but it too must contain valuable visible stuff, and must be unzipped. Remember: No Canadian Flags!
3* If robbery has still not occurred, it's time for Plan B: Go to a cafe, put your unzipped bag on an outside table, and go inside to select a cake to have with your coffee. Allow plenty of time. If, when you return, your bag is untouched, loudly draw attention to this fact, and then go inside for another cake.
4* If still robbery-less, do not despair. Walk down Las Ramblas, and find a nice man who has three cups and a ball, and who is betting spectators that they cannot guess which cup the ball is under. Loudly proclaim that you know where the ball is, and start betting. Should you guess wrongly, just double your bet. Hand your wallet/purse to a nearby spectator and ask them to keep handing you money as you need it for betting. With any luck, when you look around, the spectator will have disappeared, along with your wallet. Then, almost before you notice, the nice man with the cups and ball will have disappeared as well.
5* Second Cautionary Note: DO NOT HAVE TRAVEL INSURANCE. Many posts on this forum seem to indicate that only uninsured tourists are robbed, so travel insurance would seem to rank with Canadian Flags as something to be avoided by by a successful robbee.
However, if you ARE insured, and are robbed (long shot, I know), DO NOT get an official police report of the incident. Those smiling, lovely people who sold you the insurance will not require such evidence before settling your claim. They will take your word for it, because you seem trustworthy to them.

Follow these procedures carefully, remembering that the motto is 'Strive To Be Deprived'. If not deprived in Barcelona, try the routine in Rome, Paris, Amsterdam and/or Berlin. Somewhere, somehow, success will be yours!
adeben is offline  
Old Aug 29th, 2007 | 03:39 AM
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By the time I read through this I could have ordered four money belts.
Dukey is offline  
Old Aug 29th, 2007 | 03:58 AM
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You mean the muggers don't rob Candians? Why not?
kenav is offline  
Old Aug 29th, 2007 | 04:02 AM
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Don't forget

6* Take frequent trips to the train stations and/or the metro during rush hour/in the evening. make sure the carriage is good and busy and you're paying no notice at all to your belongings. Leaving stuff unattended while you go check a map or timetable is also recommended, as is looking around completely lost and with a map, talking loudly in English.
Take no notice of your things either when entering or leaving the station, especially going up escalators etc.
Of course leave something unzipped and in a place you can't see, like on your back.
travel_buzzing is offline  
Old Aug 29th, 2007 | 04:19 AM
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<i>You mean the muggers don't rob Candians? Why not?</i>

Apparently the value of the Canadian dollar makes it not worth the effort of running away with it.
Clifton is offline  
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