Pat

We went away for a weekend a few hours drive away when our oldest was under a year. Her grandparents stayed with her and we missed her a lot. I wouldn't have felt comfortable going further or being away longer. Our kids are now 12 and 16 and we've only done a few weekends away without them over the years. We can only really afford one trip a year and we prefer to take them along. Only you can decide what's right for you, but Europe will always be there.

Nancy

When my daughter was 18 months old I went to Europe for 3 weeks with my older sister. My husband stayed home with our daughter (with the help of his mother).<BR><BR>The worst part was on a cruise down the Rhine, there was a small child, about 3, having the time of her life. Her giggles & laughing made me miss my daughter desperately. I have never regretted going, my husband did a wonderful thing for me in keeping her & not making me feel guilty about going. <BR><BR>When she was 3 both my husband & myself went to Europe of 3 weeks leaving her with both sides of grandparents. Now that was a WONDERFUL trip!! ;o)<BR><BR>She knows that when she is older (around 8) she will be going with us & can't wait!

Victoria

Our son was 1 1/2 the first time we left him with the grandparents. In fact, grandma flew out from Arizona to DC to pick him up. We communicated with the grandparents via email daily. He had a fabulous time, and so did we knowing that he was happy. <BR><BR>Our daughter was 10 months old the first time we left her-again, grandma flew out to pick the children up. We learned, via email, that our daughter wanted nothing to do with grandpa for two days, and that saddened us. Thankfully she warmed to him, and the pictures show that she had a great time as well.<BR><BR>

Therese

I took week-long vacations with my husband and without the baby as soon as each of them (there are two) had weaned: about one year for the first, fourteen months for the second. Italy once, U.S. once. <BR><BR>My parents were healthy and willing to take care of the kids, so I was extrememly lucky on that count. The babies were fine, obviously, and it was a great break for for us. I missed them, but it didn't keep me from having a nice time. If anything I miss them more these days, and they most assuredly miss me more than they did way back then.

Dee

I don't understand why this is always such an issue. It's only been recent, in the past generation or so that it has become acceptable to bring your kids everywhere. And I'm not sure how acceptable it is. To say that you're not a good parent cause you choose to take a vacation and leave them in the hands of someone responsible is absurd. I think economics really play at hand here. Many woman work and there is much more disposable income to spend on things like vacations. I just am not sure that kids need a vacation. I mean isn't everyday a vacation. I see nothing wrong with taking your kids to Europe when they are old enough to appreciate or are interested in, and have been taught how to behave in social situations. Adults work too hard that they should have to choose a family vacation or an adult vacation. I'm not against women working but I have cousins who all stayed home with their kids and they didn't have one bit of guilt heading to Bermuda or the Islands for a week, while a responsible relative looked after their kids. I do see in my friends that there are no lines between parents and kids and they think kids should go everywhere. But they all work. These are also the people that think their kids should determine their bed times and should be dragged around everywhere they want to go. Not to mention there is no adult time and their marriages are hangiang on by a thread. Me personally JB, as long as your child is with people you trust, I would go and have one hell of a good time.

Buzzy

Go and don't allow yourself to feel guilty. I assume you wouldn't be asking this question unless you had excellent care organised for your child.<BR><BR>Make some ground rules before you go. Tell whoever is looking after the child you will ring up a couple of times during the trip and no more. Give them a contact number for emergencies and leave it at that. There is no point in going if you are going to feel as though you have to ring every day and make baby noises down the phone. This is meant to be a break not a guilt trip.<BR><BR>We are meant to be parents not prisoners. We hear a lot about childrens needs but parents have needs too.If you don't take time out just to be a couple occasionally then your child may not have a stable home in the long run.<BR><BR>I think parents these days are made to feel as though we have to take our kids everywhere. Most of the time the children really don't give a stuff about history, beautiful buildings and fine architecture, let alone fancy restaurants. Lets get real about this. They are looking over your shoulder at the McDonalds or candy store when you are showing them the Eiffle Tower.

JB

Thank You!<BR><BR>All of these responses are very good. Also, to answer a couple of your questions...I can and probably will leave my child with either my parents or my husbands. My only concern with that is stressing my parents out (they are older). <BR><BR>Another person thought I might be a troll, calling me immature and selfish. I guess I asked the question to see what everyone else out there is doing. My parents took us everywhere with them - but we didn't go to Europe until my sister and I were 6 and 10 years old, respectively. We loved it, but I just can't see a one year old having fun being dragged around - that might be more selfish and immature than leaving my child with my parents. <BR><BR>Another person said I probably wasn't breastfeeding - I am and I love it. I have done it for 3 months and will probably breast feed until she is at least 6 months. I am going to play it by ear - but I am not planning on going on vacation until she is a year old, so I won't have to worry about the breastfeeding then anyway.<BR><BR>So, I think what I've gathered from this is that I should probably go away but for 4-5 days and not so far away and save Europe when motherhood is not so new!<BR><BR>THANKS FOR THE GOOD ADVICE!

Monica

JB: You would be surprised at what little kids get out of a vacation. So it's not like you're "dragging them all over" (unless you do, but that's a whole other thing!). I always believed once I had a family I would travel as one, probably because that's what my parents did. As far as the people who think marriages "hang by a thread" because people cater to their children too much, I submit that there might be a bit more going on there. My husband and I have plenty to talk about even when we travel with our daughter. After all, she does nap and go to sleep early, leaving us plenty of time to just be together. I think it's all what you want. Like I said earlier, I wouldn't have fun if I went on a long trip without her because I'd miss her too much. Also both parents and inlaws are really getting too old to watch her for the length of time we'd need for a trip to Europe, so I guess that factors into it too.

Frances

The other viewpoint although strictly second hand as I don't remember!<BR>When I was eight months old my parents left me for a holiday in Italy. We were living with my grandparents at the time so I just stayed at home with the people I was used to. When they returned I pointedly ignored my mother for some time but I understand I was O.K. with my Dad(she was the one who betrayed me you see!)Consequently they never went without me again and my first trip abroad was to Interlaken at 2 years 6 months !<BR>I have always taken my children except recently when they were about 16 and 12 when we wanted to visit Krakow and subsequently Prague and they just didn't want to come.<BR>I think it has given them a taste for seeing the World and also a confidence to travel without us. My 16 year old daughter has already been to India three times this year and has trips lined up to Greece, Canada, France and St Lucia before the end of the year, only two of which are with us.The down side is that we have spent large sums of money over the years paying for 4 adults at a time when we could have left them behind!

another

JB,<BR><BR>Bravo!<BR><BR>In all honesty, this is an individual decision, based on individual circumstances, and we each must find our own comfort level. The gifts we give our children are in the support and opportunities we provide. There is no one right way and we face many choices along the road. I think we all want to bounce our ideas off of others when we are uncertain. Ultimately, though, the decision is ours alone. Tough being a parent, but fun!<BR><BR>Congratulations and Enjoy!

cd

JB<BR>You might want to check into an "emergency medical form" for you to sign giving your daughter's caregivers the right to make emergency medical decisions in your behalf in the case of an emergency. Our local hospital carries these forms for parents to pick up, fill out and have notarized.

Kimberley

Hi all:<BR>For what it's worth, I can give the other perspective (that of the kid left behind!). I am now a bona-fide grownup and do my own European travelling, but my parents have been travellers for pretty much my whole life (my dad is Myer who also posts on this board). I grew up in Canada, and we frequently vacationed as a family in Florida and Mexico to escape the winters. My parents never went south without my brother and me, even in diapers. But it was always accepted that Europe was not a place where we went with them. When we were really little (before school age) we stayed with my aunt and uncle (mom's sister). My mom did not work at the time, and I was used to being with her all day, and very attached. However, I have absolutely no traumatic memories of being left behind or "abandoned". Rather, the earliest memories I do have involve an "adventure" of my own, of packing up coloring books for an extended sleep- over at my aunts house (who, of course, induldeg us with quantities of chocolate milk we never would have seen at home, and loosely enforced bedtime). Once we were old enough to understand that our parents were gone, we knew that meant that we had tons of presents to look forward to (cost is not even important...we were babies...the cheapest, littlest stuff was exciting...I remember being pretty excited about an eraser in the shape of a Buckinham Palace guard). My mom's jet lag also meant I could look forward to a few midnight back-scratches once she was back, and we could always count on a few long-distance phone calls from mom and dad (a pretty exciting event for a really little kid). I'm pretty sure my parents missed us, but they kept going back to Europe so it couldn't have been unbearable. And, if it's your kid you're worried about...all I can say is that I am far from traumatized, and actually have a lot of fun memories of my parents' trips. Go and enjoy yourself (assuming you have a reliable family member or friend to leave her with.)<BR>Kimberley

Marj

We haven't done that yet. No available grandparents, friends or relatives that I could easily leave them with. If there were, I would definitely consider. At the moment, we take them with us. They've been to Europe twice, Mexico, Jamaica and various parts of the USA. Even when they're away at summer camp, I'm not all that comfortable about going on any major trips. I think it's up to you. If you are comfortable with the idea and you have someone to care for your child that you can completely trust, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. If you have any doubts, maybe wait a while, or do a shorter more local trip first.