We are assuming there is some sort of public phone in this town square, right? or are you going to use a cell phone?

If there isn't any obvious telephone, what then?

(Just trying to think of all the possible "go-wrongs" here)

Village + square = Café = public telephone, almost invariably.

By the way, can the Fodors editors please note that I am on the verge of going out and destroying every single Disney doll I can find, such is the irritation factor of having the Goofy advert invading the usable part of the screen. If you must use these aggressive tactics of splash ads invading the rest of the space, at least have the grace to provide an immediate "Close" button. Otherwise you will lose customers.

The immediate "close" button is in the upper-right corner of the panel.

The instructions are very specific; get to the village main square and use the public phones to call this couple to come get you to the rental house. I am supposed to use phonecards. I know this ain't The Amazing Race, but French is a bit intimidating (...or is it only me...?)

<French is a bit intimidating> really? ;-)
You can also say " Bonjour Monsieur, (you can forget Monsieur or Madame if you wish, they won't bother I'm sure)
Nous sommes les XYZ et nous sommes sur la place (SUR la place)." If you say it properly then someone should answer " Bonjour, nous venons vous chercher" and that's it!

Good deal!