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Help me convince my boyfriend to go to Europe with me!! Haha!!

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Help me convince my boyfriend to go to Europe with me!! Haha!!

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Old Mar 16th, 2007, 03:05 PM
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<<...as there should be some give and take...others may not agree with that but that's how I feel.>>

Absolutely I agree there "should" be... but IS there?... WILL he?

btw, thanks for being such a good sport about your post and all our replies and advice. ~Suze
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Old Mar 19th, 2007, 03:56 PM
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Hey guys,

just to clarify I have done three prior trips to europe but none of them have been "solo", they were with school/friends etc...

I don't know if I mentioned this or not, but i spoke with marco and told him that come May i will be going to Europe with or without him. I didn't get much of a reaction from him....but yesterday we were out shopping and somehow Europe came into the convo and he said "when we go....ahhh I mean "if" we go...." and then he started to giggle so maybe that's a good sign that he may join me but he wants to take some more time to decide. Either way I'll be somewhere in Europe (haven't decided where yet, probably Paris....since I am in love with that place, and one other city) and if he is with me then it will be even better!!

Suze: You know, I am soooo glad I posted it because I got to see what sooo many other people think, and sometimes you just need an objective eye to clear things up for you and I really think I got that here! Thanks for your tips!

Layla
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Old Mar 19th, 2007, 04:05 PM
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My offer's still open! ;-)
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Old Mar 19th, 2007, 04:17 PM
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Lol you're too funny brotherleelove!!

Layla
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Old Mar 19th, 2007, 04:52 PM
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Layla (what a cool name), May be brotherleelove is not being funny ?
 
Old Mar 19th, 2007, 05:04 PM
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Maybe..............I'll never tell.
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Old Mar 19th, 2007, 05:18 PM
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just my opinion--but from experience with traveling with other couples, and the husband was "talked into" going on trips--he would be miserable, and spread it around until everyone had a bad day. I personally, would not talk someone into going with me that didn't want to go. i like to travel with someone that is glad to be going.
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Old Mar 20th, 2007, 09:58 AM
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Good luck on that, but sometimes you can't decide many things until the last minuten. Well, you can if you can spend unlimited funds, but for lots of things you can't (like airfare).

Is Marco foreign by any chance (he and his sister's names sound like they could be)? I just wondered as maybe that would explain it if he's a little intimidated about the whole thing and isn't North American (or European).

I have an idea -- how about Iceland, and then a stop in Paris. Iceland is the closest flight you can get from North American and there are cheap fares usually on Icelandair. Also, they have a route from Reykavik in Iceland, their hub, to Paris. It would be a lower-key European trip in Iceland, and he might enjoy that for a start -- some outdoors stuff, no old cathedrals, etc., more laid-back.
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Old Mar 20th, 2007, 02:40 PM
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Hey again....

Christina: that's an interesting suggestion...I am in Montreal do you have any ideas how long the flight would be from there (or maybe NYC, which is a big US city not so far from me)?
I will definitely look into that idea...thanks very much!

Layla
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Old Mar 20th, 2007, 03:49 PM
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Layla-

I was going to suggest Iceland, too, but Christina beat me to it.

If he likes the outdoors in Maine, he will love Iceland. The natural scenery is amazing. Icelandair.com has lots of cool outdoor tours, and the nightlife in Rejkjavik is amazing. (And, the women are all gorgeous.)

I know Icelandair flies from Boston and I think it is about 4-5 hours.

My sister and her friends did a long weekend there together to break the ice for her friend's fiance who had never left the US before since they were planning a honeymoon in Italy. They all had a blast, and he got over his fear of the unknown in foreign countries.

I do think Paris might be too much for a first trip (although it is my favorite city), but a Iceland or Ireland would provide a more laid back way to ease into travel abroad. A group trip with a bunch of friends might also make him feel more at ease.

Good luck with your situation!
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Old Mar 20th, 2007, 04:03 PM
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Ok, I'm playing internet psychologist here, but could this be a control thing? Someone earlier mentioned that fear of flying is often the fear of relinquishing control. You mentioned that he likes to go to the same vacation spot every time. That's nice, but he may want to do this since he is familiar with the spot and feels in control in Maine.

I went with a friend to Europe once. She has always been so witty and so much fun so I thought we'd have a great time. It was her first trip to Europe and she was a terrible traveling companion until about 2/3 of the way into the trip. Everything stressed her out. It took me a while until I realized that she probably felt out of her element and out of control in the beginning.

I know this sounds cynical, but could your boyfriend be trying to control you? Is he just checking to see if you go along with what he wants to do all the time?

It sonds as though you are in college or grad school. Could it be a money issue that he doesn't want to discuss with you?

I think the only way to figure this out is to plan a trip and invite him. If he doesn't go, fine. How he reacts to your trip plans will be telling.
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Old Mar 20th, 2007, 04:11 PM
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I'll go with you. Leave Marco at home!
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Old Mar 20th, 2007, 04:22 PM
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Hello again!

BlueSwimmer- thanks for the suggestions, I will be sure to look into iceland.

dgg- I don't think its a control issue, but maybe i'm wrong...he is not controling in any other ways however so i am tempted to rule this one out.
We are in college...but the money thing isn't an issue for him, he's 24 and just purchased a VW Passat....he can afford it, and he would tell me if that was the problem. We've been together 6 1/2yrs and are very open about any $$ issues with each other.
Sherm99- maybe we can be a trio...you me and brotherleelove hahahaha!!!
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Old Mar 20th, 2007, 04:25 PM
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I don't see the point of going to Iceland, when she wants to go to Europe. It's just one more way of giving in to the boyfriend imo
;-)suze
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Old Mar 20th, 2007, 04:32 PM
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If you do not want to go alone checkout a tour. You are safe to travel alone in western europe. I fly to the region alot for work and see solo travelers all the time. If my wife did not want to go I would go alone. SWHe is planning to visit her family in Korea in 2009 and I will be doing Oktober Fest that year. Be safe, leave him home and enjoy your trip. I would still go with you though!!
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Old Mar 20th, 2007, 04:40 PM
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Hey suze!! It's true that I do want to go to Europe....so I would be comprimising slightly on Iceland but I am also interested in seeng Iceland so I would be willing to make that comprimise.....however, what concerns me about Iceland is that it would be a bigger shock in terms of culture than lets say France or Italy...We are from Montreal and speak french fluently, I have been to Paris before and have a general idea on how things work so I could take care of the small details that a first timer would be nervous about (subway, directions etc etc). He is Italian (well canadian but Italian parents) he speaks Italian very well, as do I and I have also been to Rome/Venice/Florence so like Paris would be more comfortable navigating and sorting things out etc. In fact, I think he is probably most interested in Italy because he is Italian, so if he said yes to anything that would probably be the place.
I will look into Iceland however, and see what I come up with. I'll see how he feels about it and if I sense that he's not into it I'll drop it and keep praying for Europe!

Talk to you soon!!

Layla
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Old Mar 20th, 2007, 04:51 PM
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Where are his parents/grandparents from in Italy? Does he have any interest in visiting that area? Do any of his relatives return "home" for visits?

Sorry - didn't mean to over-question. Just trying to get some idea of what he might be thinking of in this respect.
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Old Mar 20th, 2007, 04:57 PM
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Hey WillTravel,

His mom is from Le Marche (Ascoli), and his father is from a small town (but supposedly beautiful) called Peschici in the Foggia area...he has said he would one day like to see those places, lets hope one day comes sooner rather than later!!

Layla
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Old Mar 20th, 2007, 07:35 PM
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Reading about how he'll say he'll go, then won't. How he says he'll go 'eventually'. Making this supposed slip of the tongue about next May. It all sounds soooo controlling. Maybe he's not in other area, though I'll bet he is.

Then maybe he's like my SIL. She won't go ANYWHERE but to see her parents. My mom and I offered to pay for her and my brother to take a trip for their 25th anniversary. She wouldn't even go 3 hours to Orlando!

Happywren, your DH is making wonderfully curious noises. I know you're excited that he might give in. My DH hates to fly. If there were a bridge, he'd drive to Italy. If he says he'll go, make the flight memorable. Put out the extra money for upgradable tickets and go First Class. Of course, then he'll be spoiled and think it's always supposed to be like that!
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Old Mar 21st, 2007, 10:42 AM
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Isn't Iceland technically part of Europe? At any rate, my suggestion was to use Iceland to break the ice (bad pun, I know!) on travel abroad. I do understand the view that Layla wouldn't be getting the vacation she is hoping for.

Layla- I don't think culture shock would be a problem in Iceland. To me it seemed much, much less foreign than continental Europe. Maybe because the polulation is so small, it is very easy to navigate and they are truly set up for American visitors. So...you don't get as much feeling of having an adventure, but the landscape is so dramatic that you certainly feel like you are in a unique and special land.

Pretty much everyone speaks English, you can eat at Pizza Hut if you want (or try something exotic, like cod cheeks), and Reykjavic is easy to navigate by bus or on foot. Icelandair makes travel extremely easy, with their own tours, hotels, etc. including the "flybus" that will take you to your hotel from the airport.

Good luck! Italy sounds like a good plan!
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