momofstar

I need good advice. My husband and I are supposed to go to london-paris-Venice-ROme for 22 days. We were really excited since we have been planning for this vication the last year. Originally, my mother was supposed to take care of our 10 month old daughter while we are away but she just called last night saying she does not want the responsibility. I do not know what to do now??! My mother in law passed away 4 years ago and I have 2 unmarried brothers who know nothing about babies. I have no choice but to either cancel this whole trip or take star (my daughter) with us. <BR>The trip was originallyBR>7 days london (sheraton park towers)<BR>5 days paris (Millennium Paris opera)<BR>5 days Venice (Danieli)<BR>5 days rome ( Exelsior hotel)

Dr Spock

Take the child. You will feel better and not worry about who is taking good care of her. Start her out young enjoying travel. Take toys to amuse her. walk her up the aisles to tire her so she'll sleep and not cry.And enjoy yourselves.

Hogo

Pretty pathetic when you have to ask this kind of advice.<BR>Call your priest!!!

zzz

Assuming she is not too old, a drunk or too sick - tell her to start acting like mother and grandmother ASAP! Even the older folks are getting selfish these day's. Its like riding a bike - you never forget once you learn.

x

22 days is too long to leave a ten-month old anyway. Take her, and take your mother along to babysit for several hours at a time.

xxx

Since you are staying in luxury hotel I take it you can afford a nanny with you to help.

In80days

Just because they are staying in some luxury hotels does not mean they can afford to bring grandmother or nanny along. They may have been saving along time to take this first class vacation, using FF miles, or hotel &quot;points&quot;. If you can afford to bring along help, that would be ideal. If not, bring the child along anyway. Just be prepared to have your schedule slowed down and not getting to see everything you had planned. Bring along a back carrier and/or a lightweight stroller. Italians especially love children and when we bring ours, hotel and restaurant employees dote on them and bring them special treats. Don't be surprised to have a waiter scoop up your child and bring her into the kitchen so that you and your husband can dine in peace. Above all, don't force your mother to take care of your daughter. If she feels uncomfortable in doing so, she has her reasons and it is probably best that she doesn't undertake this responsibility if she is not going to enjoy it. There is no law that says grandparents must babysit for an hour, let alone 22 days.

stay at home mom

You were going to leave your 10 month old for over 3 weeks just so you could go on vacation overseas?! Why didn't you take this vacation before you became parents? Why don't you put your kid first and reschedule this trip. Having kids does not mean the end of traveling and having fun but come on, ditching a baby for 3 weeks?!?! BTW, I waited until my kid was 8 before I felt comfortable leaving him behind with grandparents while I was 8,000 miles away from home.

aMOM

While trying to ignore the morons with their opinions about children and child care, I wonder, <BR>1- have you already booked with deposits, the hotels?<BR>2- did you get airline tickets yet?<BR>3-do you and your mother have a good relationship, before this?<BR>4-does she have any idea what this can cost you if she screws it up for you?<BR>If she is just not the kind of mother that any of us want, then my advice would be take the baby.<BR>Obviously, if your own mother leaves you in the lurch like this, you shouldn't really want to go to Europe and leave the baby with her. <BR>It will make a difference in your trip-but it needn't cancel it altogether.<BR>I would cut out a country/city if I were taking a small child though.<BR>Just replan, with baby in mind. If you can afford a nanny (a teenage mothers helper daughter of a friend?) that would be the best of all worlds.<BR>Good luck!

xxx

Cancel the trip unless you bring along a sitter. Three weeks is a long trip to take by yourself much less with a ten month old baby. The stress levels for you and all around you will be sky high. The logistics alone will be staggering, and then one of you is bound to get sick ..... . Save it until you can enjoy yourself.

star among moms

And I smell a good troll.<BR><BR>Anyone asking for actual advice would have provided the one crucial piece of information. When is this trip?<BR><BR>I can think of plenty of good answers to this, if it were a true problem.<BR><BR>But no one plans a three week trip to Europe, planning it for &quot;the last year&quot;, during the first year of their first baby's first year of life.<BR><BR>Not without having major, major reservations and/or serious contingency plans long before now.<BR>

stay at home mom

How dare momofstar's mother screw up momofstar's European vacation! She must have absolutely no life of her own to have the time to devote 3 weeks to an infant. An infant who will probably be crying a lot due to separation anxiety. Well all the marriage experts say marriage comes first, then the children. It is momofstar's perogative to decide whether to leave her baby behind or to take her along on this trip but to blame the grandmother for changing her mind, get real. Grandparents are not obligated to care for grandkids while parents vacation. Sometimes vacation plans go awry but it's always someone else's fault, isn't it? Maybe momofstar can sue.

momofstar

Everyone thanks for responding. I am shocked with the hositility coming from some threads. <BR> It looms like my husband and I will be taking Star along with us. I think 4 cities for a baby is too much so we might cut out Rome. We will also ask the babysitter we have if she can come along with us on this trip. <BR> So far, we have 2 business class tickets on Virgin airlines that are paid for. We have booked our hotels but have not paid any deposit. Also, if the maid does come will we have to get her another room? I think 2 rooms will be expensive so should we be looking for cheaper hotels?

Stephanie

Stay at Home Mom - no disrespect intended, but you sound like a bit of a nutter. <BR><BR>Of course, &quot;my mother was supposed to take care of (the baby)...&quot; is ambiguous - I take it to mean that the MOS's mother agreed (or even offered) to take the baby, and now has changed her mind. If that's the case, I'd try to find out what it is she's worried about and see if you can help alleviate her concerns - if she did agree, then it IS rather unfair for her to back out after all the plans are made, unless there's some material reason (e.g., sickness or the like). If you just assumed she'd take the baby, then obviously that wasn't a good assumption - but I find it hard to believe that someone would make concrete plans without making sure the baby would be taken care of.<BR><BR>As far as taking Star on your trip, it's not un-do-able (although it would slow you down) - a ten-month-old, in my opinion, is easier to travel with than, say, a five-year-old (or a badly-behaved 10- or 15-year old).

momofstar

I forgot to mention that my mother has changed her mind becuase she thinks she is too old(61) and taking care of Star would be 24/7. She says she can handle a few hours but not more.

pbp

Come on guys, this woman only wanted inforamtion on how difficult it would be to take the childe. She didn't need a guilt trip, just some advice on whether she should go or now. Why not lighten up and stop using this to blow off steam.

hogo

Still pathetic!!! How oldis momofstar? Now she's asking if she needs an addtional room if she brings a sitter!! <BR>I'm surprised she could make a decision to have Star

realitycheck

I do NOT get you people!!! When a mother decides to take her baby along you all post telling the mother the baby will not remember the trip and to leave the baby behind and then when the mother does that you give her a guilt trip by saying how selfish the mother is!!

star

While you folks are bickering, I'm off to Europe with the nanny.<BR>Ciao!<BR>Star

xxxxx

This sounds like a troll - only a yuppie SUV driving frappacino ***** would leave her 10 month old baby - aren't these suppose to be precious months of joy? - a little too easy to condemn, no? And who in their right mind would leave their child with their mother? Maybe it would be a great experience for one of your brother's - is it that different than taking care of a puppy? ( LOL ). This is a troll - if you can have a child you can make such decisions without asking strangers, no?