freeman0819

I have yelled and hollered, it tends to embarass some of them and then they slink away. For others that I have seen "in action", it seems to become a challenge. If you don't react, then they think that it's ok and then they keep going.

As far as that yahoo at the resort, I did not slap him (I had a plate in my hand- yes, I know, I should have put the plate down and THEN slapped him), but I looked him in the eye and calmly said "If you touch me or even look in my direction again, I will make sure you lose your job TODAY". Well, he turned right around and walked away, and didn't bother me for the rest of my vacation. It could be, he believed me or perhaps there was "no more challenge". I am imagining that it would have been interesting to explain it to the wife, family, etc at home why daddy no longer had a job or something...

Frances

I understand that a way to stop a man who is handling you is to grab his genitals and squeeze... I've not tried it but men squirm when you tell them this.

StCirq

Well, freeman, you certainly exercised more restraint than I did. Admittedly I was much younger and probably more hotheaded than I am these days, but I believe my reaction was to push him off me and yell "Get your f***ing hands OFF ME NOW, A**hole!!!" I did not, at the time, have enough command of French or Arabic to do it in the guy's own language, but it worked just fine.

And then my husband came over and yelled at him some more while I got dressed again.

And it wasn't the only such experience in Tunisia, just the most memorable one.

nona1

I got most severely groped trying on my HAT! And as it was the only shop I could find in the whole town that had anything suitable, I just had to keep shoving him off, and trying to get on with the transaction. Then he would make soothing cooing noises, sidle back next to me, and start fondling my bottom yet again, while talking to me. Another shove. Repeat about 3 times. He certainly got more 'value' out of the transaction than I did.

pirouette

Hi Indigokid,

I have been to Tunisia, Egypt and am just back from three weeks in Turkey. You have received some very good advice from other posters. If you are able to find a shop or store in your own city that sells clothing made in India-it would be a good start. Light-weight cotton broomstick skirts, gauze or light cotton long-sleeved tops are all appropriate. I purcahsed a couple of calf length cotton dresses and skirts. A 3/4 sleeve is fine-just no bare arms.

As to unwanted attention from males-yes it was there but I found it pretty harmless. Other than stares and men calling "La gazelle", nothing much happened. I was usually with my husband and was always dressed very modestly. I also have dark hair and often pass as local (until I open my mouth!). Common sense and a sense of humour will go a long way. Tunisia is an interesting country-enjoy your trip!

freeman0819

Pirouette- how was Turkey? I am going next month to Istanbul and Antalya. So excited.

Happy Traveling

parisnow

Indigokid,
Never shopped at forever21 so I don't know their prices but you may try the following:
Gap;Eddie Bower;Limited; Target;
they carry merchandise for your age group yet you can still find conservative things. Or try these online stores that sell travel clothes:
LL Bean Travel; Lands End; Travelsmith.
I would go with cotton/cotton blend or a linen blend.
I would only buy a few basics to get you started. If you are like most females you will find items there that you will want to buy.
Remember in Italy if you go into any of the Churches (even as a tourist) you need to cover up arms and legs.

tinabina

indigokid,

I'm not sure where you live, but you said you were a student,so I assume you are in a larger town/small city.
When I traveled abroud as a YOUNG woman such as yourself and on a very tight budget I went to thrift stores. I was able to pick up long tunics, blouses, long skirts even linen pants for practically nothing . Lots of times the clothing has been donated by the families of deceased older people, so the clothing tends to be more mature and conservative. I know that sounds a bit morbid, but true.Was it my style? No way, but it was cheap and I looked very appropriate. When I returned home I kept maybe 3 or 4 things and donated the clothes right back to the thrift store. Just a suggestion. Good Luck

suze

I have a dear friend who travels alot and she does what tinabina suggests above. Hits a 'Value Village' type store and spend maybe $35 getting ~6 different pieces of clothing for the trip. Functional and practical and cheap.

Remember you don't need a lot of stuff. You can wear the same things over and over when you're traveling. One thing I might spring for is a 3rd pair of shoes. Some sturdy sandals or something to go along with the 2 you mentioned which seem OK.

indigokid

Wow this has become a great thread! Some of these stories are amazing! While I must say I thoroughly hope I don't get groped/harrassed/etc, I am glad that I'm at least kind of expecting it if it does happen now.

Tina, the thrift store is a really good idea, thank you. I'll give that a shot today, looking for my last items.

And Freeman, thanks again for your help! I'll be sure to post when I get back and report on how it went

indigokid

<<Then he would make soothing cooing noises, sidle back next to me, and start fondling my bottom yet again, while talking to me. Another shove. Repeat about 3 times.>>

Nona, my goodness! I can't believe he was so persistant! And making noises, geeze! Were you unaccompanied when that happened?

Would it be a good idea to carry mace as a young woman, or do you think that could just lead to a ton of trouble?
I mean... it seems like harrassment is pretty common, I wouldn't want to mace someone who's not really doing anything unacceptable in for thier own culture...

but at the same time, if things really got out of hand it'd be nice to have some sort of protection...

Is mace legal in Tunisia?

freeman0819

Hmmm, mace... I don't know for sure if it's LEGAL per se, but if you were to mace someone, it could be a big deal "This crazy woman has maced/attacked me, arrest her, blah blah blah." I don't speak enough Arabic or French to talk my way out of that one... My best suggestion would be to start hollering (cause a scene), then they feel foolish and usually go away.

slangevar

Another post talked about mace/pepper spray as an option, and it sounds like they're both illegal in quite a few other countries.

I wouldn't worry too much indigokid... if you're dressed properly and come up with a few great come-backs like freeman0819 (even better - in their language!), you'll probably be fine.

Everyone warned my sister and me about possible groping and loud come ons in Italy, but we didn't experience any of it. It actually got to the point where we were like, "Hey... why isn't anyone trying to grope us?"

Pvoyageuse

Just wondering why a poster let her botton be fondled THREE TIMES without leaving the shop after the first!

I've been to Algeria, Morocco, Egypt and Tunisia. While it is true that foreign women get a lot of attention especially if they are fair-headed (the very blond German friend whom I visited in Algiers used to say that any 500lb blond girl had more "chances" than the cutest and slimmest brunette) a little common sense and a few well-chosen words in French, English or Arabic do the trick. Groppers don't like to be told off or made fun of by women.

As to clothes, I spent 3 weeks in Egypt with djellabahs bought for a few dollars the year before in Algiers. Very comfortable, went down to the ankle, had short sleeves and were cool under the heat.

Believe me, shop owners are after your money much more than after your........ skin ! Just leave and patronize the next shop..

nona1

Just wondering why a poster let her botton be fondled THREE TIMES without leaving the shop after the first!

...because it was the only shop in the whole town where I'd been able to find a sun-hat with a brim and I was about to die of heat exaustion! (well, almost). this was before I'd learned the scowl and 'la!' trick.

alanRow

Carrying mace is NOT a good idea - for one thing even the possession of it is illegal in most places, using it someone is liable to end up with YOU in some really sh*tty jail cell for several MONTHS.

JeanneB

indigo:
Do you have a TJMaxx nearby? If so, they have deep discounts right now on merchandise similar to what you're looking for. Again, not the "juniors"...head over to the ladies dept. They may also have hats, sandals, etc.

Have fun! I'm shocked at the reports on this thread. These are the guys who hold us up as morally lacking?!!!

indigokid

Yikes! No mace then! I'll just leave it behind entirely.

Do you know if it's legal anywhere in Europe?

AONeal79

This is somewhat off-topic, but as a young-ish woman who wants to travel exensively, hearing about all the groping/etc is really discouraging. Have any of you ladies ever had one of these negative experiences and wish you'd never visited that country/city in the first place? Or was it all still worth it?

Thanks.

slangevar

Some women travel their entire lives without being groped... and some women's bottoms are like magnets.

Just be careful, stay alert, do as indigokid is doing and dress correctly and you'll probably be fine. None of the women here have said they were raped or kidnapped... just touched in a way that isn't normal for people who grew up with Seinfeld's notion of "personal space."