Ral04 -

IMHO the fact that you are 25 years of age and have these concerns - as well as your mention of your mother's involvement in the planning/decision - sasy to me that you have probably been extremely oversheltered up to now. Don;t you have your own apartment? Don;t you go away with your friends for the weekend or vacations? Does your mother follow you everywhere?

If so - escape! Escape now! You need to start living your own life right now - or you will never have one.

(In my experience the only way to deal with super protective parents - and I have had to helpt two firends do this - is to clearly draw a line in the sand - and then just let them deal with their unrealistic anxieties/fears/need to control on their own. Perhaps suggest therapy for them.)

ral04, I went to Europe alone for the first time last summer (I was 26) and had a great time. I had several friends that always told me that they wanted to go to Europe and bla..bla... But when I said, "Let's book the tickets today", nobody committeed to it, so I finally went by myself.

You asked, "Will I have fun? Will I be safe?" It's really up to you, what you define as "fun". Some people that I've talked to, told me that THEY would have had more fun if they travelled with someone, so that they have someone to share their experiences with. Well the truth of the matter is, I don't have anyone that would travel with me and I made the choices to go alone, because I don't want to be 35 one day, and wished that I travelled more when I was younger, and had the money, stamina, and opportunity to do that. I got lost and yelled at in Paris, had some crazy dudes whistling profanity at me in Amsterdam, and got sick for the entire 3 wks of my trip to Asia ... and I was alone the entire time. Did I still have fun? Yes. Because while I might not necessarily have someone that I could say, "Hey, do you remember that one time in Paris when we saw ..", I know that I was able to see the world through my own eyes, and that's important for me.

As far as your parents; well my mom doesn't even like the fact that I'd go out and get a take out at Wendy's after midnight, so if it were up to her -I wouldn't have seen the rocky mountains, the empire state bldg, the Eiffel tower, etc.

And for the 2nd question, you said that you were pretty smart, so you should hopefully have an awareness that travelling solo for anyone, at any age, anywhere, not just in Europe, would require extra precautions. I personally combat my worriness prior to all of my travels with planning (sometimes too much), so that at least I have an idea about the place.

Plan ahead, read as much as you can before you go, and enjoy your time off. I assure you, it would be the best time of your life, with or without a travelling companion

25? That isn't 15, is it? Forgive me but I'm going to be brutal, why do you think that your ADULT age is going to make any difference to anything? Or don't you consider yourself to be an adult? Get yourself a passport, a couple of guidebooks, pack your bags and go! I know 16-18 year olds who do it or have done it - perfectly safely - and have a ball.

Quite frankly, whether you have fun or whether you'll be safe is entirely up to you, my dear. And to be worrying about your parents view is...well...simply worrying, at your age.

for h2babe- what a beautifully honest, helpful and perceptive reply!

ral04- i'm afraid i agree with the camp of folks who are questioning someone 25 still needing parental approval. but more kindly, maybe you can make some new interesting friends on your trip!

Reading these last few replys, I think some of you are being a little harsh. Ral04 didn't say she needed parental approval, just that her mom would "appreciate some reassurance". Maybe accusing her of being overprotected and unable to make up her own mind is not exactly fair. I am way older than she is and I try to take my mother's worries into consideration when I travel (or do anything). Doesn't mean I don't do what I want, just that if I can help her to worry less, that's a good thing. My own children are almost approaching Ral04's age and as a mom I definitly appreciate it when I know I can get in touch with them, that they have made plans to take safety into consideration, etc.

I'll repeat what I said before, and what several other people are also saying. You should do some planning. I traveled solo last year for the first time and I defiitly felt I was safer because I knew the layout of each city I went to, I had an idea of what areas I wanted to be in and which ones to avoid, I had good maps, and I had prebooked accomodations. Your original statement that you want to "go whereever it takes me" kind of sounds like you plan to just wing it - backpack your way around. That's fine for some people, but since you are asking about being safe you might want to conisder the more conservative approach. You don't have to book the whole trip day by day in advance. But research your destinations and book the next city before you leave the previous one.

Ral,
No it is not safe to travel alone. It is also not safe to be in Times Square after dark. Also do not even THINK of crossing the street after midnight - those buses come careening out of nowhere and WHAM you're pavement butter. Thinking of flying a red eye flight? ARE YOU KIDDING? Those pilots are one sleepy blink away from disaster.

Life is full of potential catasrophes dear, but you can't shy away from a potentialy incredible experience out of fear of 'what if'. To help you decide, ask yourself this question: Five years from now what will be your overriding thought: Oh my, I'm so glad I didn't risk doing that...OR...Wow, what an incredible experience that I'll remember for the rest of my life???

If you are smart and take precautions (see above posts) you'll prolly be fine. Be careful whom you trust, keep your wallet close and always know who is around you and behind you and you'll be fine. Good luck and God bless...

Let us know how trip comes out, k?

Oh, one final piece of critical advice: Call your mother...

LOL because I use to deal with parents worrying and now it seems like I deal with grown children worrying about me.

Life is strange. But I make sure now if I am going out of town I let one of them know - and if going for more then a couple of days I let them all know. Otherwise they call, leave a message, they don't hear back from me, then they start worrying.

But it sure beats not having anyone care about you!

There's a big diffreence between being considerate to those who care about you and catreing to overprotectors.

My mom is in her 80's - and I'm - well approaching the big 50 - but she has a thing about flying and when I go to europe I always call her to say I've arrived safely. But this is a lot different that discussing with her whether or not I should be going - which I definitely didn;t do the first time I went to euope at 19 - never mind at 25.

While it's true most parents worry always, I don't believe it should influence what we decide to do. And I am lucky to have a Mom who is a silent worrier.

My example, recently I visited Hawaii for the first time. When I returned she said "I don't know why but I didn't worry about you like when you go to Mexico." Mind you, she had never said a WORD about her concerns and I had vacationed in Mexico 16 different trips!!

I'm getting that sneaking "trolled" feeling again. Clues: the style and tone are similar, certain spelling suggests the poster is Canadian, awkward and inappropriate use of English, spelling error ... and strange, not to say dopey, questions. I think it's all starting to add up.

Ah, tell me Ral04. In October 25, 2003 you were going to go to Europe in 2004 with a girlfriend as a graduation from college celebration. But you said your boyfriend was very worried about your safety.

How did your trip to Europe in 2004 go? Did you have any problems? And how is the worried boyfriend?

My 18 year old daughter backpacked through Europe alone for four months between high school and college and the worst thing that happened to her was her retainer fell through a drain in a Paris bathroom. She met lots of people on her travels and had the very best time of her life up to that point. She was glad she had her first destination set up in advance (Paris hostel) because she hadn't counted on being so tired when she first arrived. After that, she winged it, really getting into the flow of European life, meeting people from all over the world. This trip formed the basis of her essay when she later applied to medical schools.
"A ship in harbour is safe, but that's not what ships are built for."
Go and have fun!! You'll never forget it.

Sheesh, have we been had??????

Think so hightide.

Oh well, everyone had a nice chat with each other.

It will be interesting to see if Ral04 comes back to post.

dang - oh well, you're right LoveItaly, was a nice chat - back to bad re-runs on TV and perusing Italy info!!!!

Still stand by my advice: no crossing streets after midnight - those buses come out of NOWHERE...I hate that...

hehe

Good to see that LoveItaly's troll radar is working. My batteries must have been flat.

Ral04, I forgot to mention that I did manage to call my mom twice when I was in Europe. I also wrote emails to her and a few friends, and my mom, proudly, forwarded my emails to our relatives Everyone was happy at the end.

In Paris one summer, a girl, attractive enough that she got my attention, got on the Metro and sat across the aisle from us. Without hesitation she sat next to a young man. Much to my amazement, he did not start "hitting on her."

Can you see that scene in the US? Two young adults, both nice looking, not even speaking? I was surprised.

The young lady went to the Musee d'Orsay walking ahead of us directly to the entrance. We glimpsed her several times in the museum taking notes, obviously studying an assignment.

The point is this: If you go about your business in a straight forward manner, you will be OK.

Now in Italy, as a single girl, you will get attention. Che bella being the standard greeting. But in Austria and Switzerland, you can go on about your tour.

Our attractive Italian friend who was single for a long time drew her share of "Che bellas" during her first 40 years, but she said she never felt threatened. I will leave that one to your judgment.

Of course, you know as well as I that safety is often a function of where you go. But compared to the average bar in a college town, I think you will be safer in most places in Europe. So if you went to the average party school university, you know what I mean!!
(I live in a college town where there are more watering holes "up town" than there are anything else, except lawyer offices!! I think it is a tie between lawyers and bars.)

As said earlier, I would not go wandering the streets at 2 am. Even as a single male, I would not go wandering through Bois de Boulogne at 2 am to see the signts. I don't think I need to explain that one.

Oh dear, I DO believe you guys are correct that we have been trolled again! And here I was feeling a little bad for my own comments, making fun of a 25 year old person for being so immature and insecure.

Wellllll...No Ral04 in sight, imagine that. Seems like they scurry and run when exposed to the light of day, huh? (Kinda like cockroaches????) Oh well...