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Have you ever felt "used" by another Fodorite?

Have you ever felt "used" by another Fodorite?

Mar 27th, 2004, 04:16 AM
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Have you ever felt "used" by another Fodorite?

For example I was exchanging e-mails with someone a few weeks before their trip, giving them advice. They went on their trip, never posted a trip report, or even some comments. They also got advice from many others on the board. Isn't it just good manners to post at least a "I had a great trip, thanks?"
Bnice is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 04:34 AM
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Saying "thanks" is a nice thing to do, but I certainly wouldn't feel "used" for giving advice and not receiving a "thanks." I think it is done all the time on this board. Some people get a lot of "self satisfaction" just for helping others on their trips with their experiences and don't require a "thanks."

I've been personally given a lot of expert advice on this board and may have failed to say "thanks."

A belated "thank you" goes out to all.
Budman is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 04:39 AM
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Hi Bnice,

Yes, it would be good manners to say "thanks".

Just another example of the general lessening of standards.
ira is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 04:48 AM
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I agree that I get satisfaction by posting here and that's fine. When you correspond with someone via e-mail off the board, and they don't say thanks, it's another story.
Bnice is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 04:50 AM
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A thank you should be automatic sadly it is not!
Mar 27th, 2004, 04:55 AM
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The flip side....

I offered a coupon (on the US board)worth cash off a stay at a great hotel in Key West.

I mailed the coupon to someone that said they were already planning on staying at the hotel. They thanked me via email and I thought that was the end of it.

To my surprise, I later received a tin of key lime cookies and a written thank you note....classy people.

Dick is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 05:09 AM
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I'm not sure what this is an example of. That person may have lost your e-mail address, had a stroke, etc. S/he could be frantically posting thanks to you at frommers.com or the thanks was sent to benice at wherever dot com. You could just forgive 'em.

But, apparently what you want is affirmation that practicing good manners means saying "thank you".
mrwunrfl is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 05:10 AM
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Oh! My answer is: "yes, it is".
mrwunrfl is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 05:42 AM
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No, I've never felt used. I post here because it is fun for me. It is also fun to get feedback after people come home, but I see that as an added bonus. I guess I have never had the experience of exchanging e-mails personally with someone who didn't respond with a thank you, however.
Nikki is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 05:47 AM
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I do not feel any "obligation" to post a trip report and I don't think anyone else should, either. People ask for help here and that is offered..sometimes it is factual and sometimes it is pure opinion..nobody helps you figure out which is which in some cases.
There are any number of people here who think this is an easy way to get info without doing any research on their own..perhaps you happened to connect to one of them
A "thank you" is always appreciated but, unfortunately, not often given...and probably from those same people who have to ask whether or not they should tip someone!
Mar 27th, 2004, 05:49 AM
Join Date: Feb 2003
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Since you ask, I must gently say, no, because I think that the party that deserves the lion's share of any thanks is the one that runs the board - Fodors. Without their provision of this free service, there would be no advice to receive - or to give.
Sue_xx_yy is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 05:52 AM
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Agreed Singletail! My grandmother had a phrase for this - she said "they were raised in a barn" meaning having no more manners than the cows.
nytraveler is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 06:43 AM
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Let me add to Ira's comment about standards--I see that as the issue. I detect an attitude of entitlement on this site and others. Merely being a citizen of cyberspace does not entitle you to the personal knowledge of the other citizens. However, when shared, it is common courtesy to express gratitude. I think it may be a generational difference. Those who have grown up in cyberspace seem to be the ones that expect gratification.
bobthenavigator is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 06:57 AM
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I have found Fodors talk to be a fascinating locale for travel advice and often other insights. But it is mostly people passing in the dark as far as personal contacts, i.e., you post an email comment and others add their comments, but no one really knows anyone personally. I do like it when some folks actually get in touch for further conversation.
Bill in the Ozarks [email protected]
Ozarksbill is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 07:10 AM
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It's just like "real life" -- you will make some "internet friends" who are better and closer than others. And you will make some acquaintances whom you hear a lot from over a short period of time, then nothing. A forum like this one shouldn't be "obligating" -- but generally people who enjoy getting advice also enjoy giving advice. Hence, some of us become addicted and are here all the time. Others (who may have more real-time obligations, but not necessarily) will only pop in when they need quick info.
uhoh_busted is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 07:21 AM
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(okay - I haven't had my coffee yet but...)

The one thing I haven't read here yet is - what if one's advice/tips are totally wrong. That gem of a hotel was in the opinion of that other person, a rat hole. That fabulous restaurant - horrid. We all like to think our advice is good. What may be a four star to some is a Motel 6 to others. Restaurants can have off days. Should the person still say something to the person who gave the tips/advice?
Carta_Pisana is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 07:22 AM
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I think the best way to say "thank you" to the members of a board such as this is to return the favor.
I am new to this board, I had some questions about logistics for an upcoming trip, posted my questions and learned quite a bit.
It never would never have occurred to me that I was taking advantage of someone on this board, or "using" them.

I can see the value in sharing information here. I have provided information and opinions since I joined recently. I felt that was my way of saying "thanks".
cyberUK is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 07:29 AM
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If I were approached on the street by a stranger for directions to the art museum, I certainly expect to be thanked for doing so. I don't expect her to come back and give me a report of her experience.

I think in most cases anyone who asks a question on this board should give a general thanks to the responders and might want to single out someone for particularly pertinent info. I rarely read trip reports though I enjoy reading of singular happenings.
jsmith is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 07:29 AM
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Emailing I think is different than responding to this board. A simple thank you is definitely appropriate for an email.

While it's also a nice gesture here, quite often it closes a thread, while you're still trying to gather more information. So it has that downside too.

On the other hand, it would be nice for someone who's finally taken that trip, assuming they received advice that helped them, to locate the earlier thread if they can to acknowledge the usefulness of the tips they've used.
Surfergirl is offline  
Mar 27th, 2004, 07:39 AM
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I couldn't care less if anyone conveyed their thanks, but I get very peeved by people who come here and waste my time. For example, there was some daft woman two weeks ago looking for restaurants in London that offered simple American cuisine. She kept changing her mind on what she wanted in every post. Not only that, her daughter was living in London, supposedly. Why not ask her???? I really think she came here to "stir the pot."

On another thread a woman asked advice about Capri <Isn't Capri supposed to be fabulous?>, yet in her first posting she stated that she had been to Capri for a day trip. Hello??? Since you've already been there why are you asking if it is fabulous?????? Are you really going to Capri, or are you a bored office worker coming here to live vicariously through others???

Have a bloody nice day.
ThinGorjus is offline  

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