RSTravelers

On our first trip to Venice we purchased a handcrafted mask. We were concerned with getting it back home safely. The young woman clerk assured us it would be all right because she was putting "boo-bell" wrap around it.

And on the island of Burano when trying to decide the amount of lace to purchase for my seamstress mother, the shopkeeper began measuring the lace and describing how much one would need for the collar and "leaves" of a blouse.

Read this one on a restaurant menu in Montalcino: Aromatized chicken chest with potatoes and onions pie

Before leaving for Newfoundland, a co-worker asked DH, "Do they drive on the same side of the road over there?" & "Do they speak English?" .....groan!!

Shanna

Laffing my socks off!! Still good after all these years. One old, old new.

In Paris, my friend's first trip so I let her choose what she wants to do. "Let's go to the Louvre today." After half an hour, she whines, "I don't want to waste any time looking at a bunch of old stuff."

At Juno Beach a couple of weeks ago, a couple was setting up housekeeping next to me. Tables, umbrella, chairs, coolers. I closed my eyes. She says, "You're not going to put your chair on the blanket are you?" He says, "Of course. You know I hate sand."

29FEB

G_Hopper, many thanks for posting:

<i>"SFR_DANIEL wrote:
At a conference in California I was navigating through the day's luncheon buffet, which was a make your own taco experience. I was looking for the ground beef, salsa and sour cream, but one of my fellow travelers had a more urgent question. He stopped an employee, pointed at the frijoles and asked with a very worried face, 'Are these vegetarian beans'?

Many refried beans are made with lard.</i>"

Many people also don't know that <b>jello</b> is not vegetarian - read the ingredients.

linawood

Last October, shortly before our 10 hour nonstop Seattle-Frankfort flight arrived in Frankfort, this announcement came over the intercom: " Will the passenger going to San Francisco please contact airline staff at the gate when we arrive in Frankfort".

linawood

Several years ago I saw this "enticement" on a website for a b&b near Lake Bohinj, Slovenia. "Free dental cheek in privat ambulant".

Ashmama

While studying for a year in Paris years ago, I went to London with an American friend for a few days. After touring the Tower of London, she wanted to eat at a McDonald's because she felt a bit homesick. When she asked a policeman for directions, he replied, "I thought you just exported that sh&t. I didn't realize you actually ate it, too."

Ozarksbill

A group of church women were discussing plans for the next funeral dinner that would held for some family in the church. One younger member asked innocently, "And when will that be?"
Ozarksbill

justretired

I just came across this great thread. But I'm confused by the entry by Emjoy on Mar 10, 03 at 11:19 PM:

<i>"... when pulling up for petrol in France my Uncle told the attendant we wanted "Vin litre" (instead of 'Vingt" twenty litre ) and the man looked at him and said 'Monsieur, French men may run on wine, but French cars do not'."</i>

I'm confused because the French words "vin" (wine) and "vingt" (twenty) are pronounced exactly the same.

justretired

OK, now I ought to contribute one.

On my first trip to France in 1960, a girl in my group wanted to send a package home. Wanting it to arrive quickly and not go by slow boat (a possibility in those days), she wanted to request a "rapid delivery". Not knowing the word for "delivery", she looked it up in the dictionary.

You can now almost guess what happened: she came up with <i>accouchement</i>, which means "delivery", all right, but in the sense of "delivery of a baby". She went up to the window in the Post Office, and asked in a rather loud voice for <i>un accouchement rapide</i>.

A very brief smile flickered across the attendant's face, but he quickly controlled himself, and replied, <i>guichet onze</i> ("window eleven"). This sent her across the room, where she repeated her request to his friend at window eleven, and which point the entire room burst into laughter.

Aduchamp1

We have friends in Spain and they speak English and we speak Spanish and no one knows what the hell is being said. One day our friend said, "We bought a two-bedroom condom."
"Very impressive," I said.

A thousand years go we were befriended by students in Barcelona. One night one of the Catalans asked in English, "Is that the sun or the moon?'
"I don't know," I said, "I have only been in Barcelona a week."
The same night, same group one of them said in Ebglish they had to take the tub home. We were puzzled until we realized their English professor was British and they needed to take the tube home.

justretired

Here's one that happened in exotic ... Boston! I was there.

It was outside the Boston Aquarium, where there's an outdoor exhibit of some animals. This was surrounded by a large crowd of people, including many families and children. Thus quite a few people were rather upset when an approaching man, just getting close enough to see over the heads of the crowd to observe the animals, called out what seemed to be that most powerful of obscenities known as "the F word".

Just before someone punched him out, though, he continued speaking in French to his family, which was bringing up the rear, and it was evident that whatever he had said, it was not intended to be in English.

The animal exhibit outside the Boston aquarium, as some of you may know, is a tank of harbor seals. And "seals!" is what the man had called out to his family, only in French:

&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <b><i>Phoques!</i></b> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; (The final s is not pronounced.)

A French word that has been amusing adolescent students of French for centuries trips up a French tourist in Boston. Actually, he was never aware of the stir he had caused.

The Latin name of the harbor seal is <i>Phoca vitulina</i>.

pdx

In Avignon at an outdoor restaurant, with perfect southern twang: "Do you have pitchers of beer? You know, pitchers?" (with hand gestures).

scdreamer

Years ago my friend and I took our young daughters on a vacation to Puerto Vallarta. We spent an afternoon playing on the beach at Playa Mismoloya, and then decided to have a bite to eat at one of the palapa restaurants lining the water's edge. My friend took her daughter and my two girls into the bathroom to wash up, and when she entered the bathrooms, she saw a lovely long tiled tub with a faucet at one end and a drain at the other. She told the girls to hop in and she would wash the sand off them. Just as she was spraying water on them, a man came in, and in horrified Spanish managed to let her know they were in the men's room, and the "tub" was actually a urinal.

Needless to say, this has become a family legend, always bringing laughter when recounted.

ak_elly

At our B&B in Alaska (Bell in the Woods B&B): One morning, I awoke to find that our water heater was broken and there was no hot water. I called the plumber and hoped he could fix it before any guests woke up to take a shower. Later, during breakfast, I was worried, so I bluntly asked my guests if they'd had good showers that morning. One man said, "Yes, but it is quite cold water, isn't it?" I apologized and told him that I had tried to have the plumber fix it quickly. He looked puzzled for a minute, and then he said, "Oh! And I thought the showers were cold here because this is Alaska!"

ellenbw

We took our son to France for the 1st time when he was 7. I tried to get him interested in a children's French phrase book, but he wasn't enthusiastic. We were in a park one day and there was a group of children about his age, kicking around a soccer ball. He was very excited and went over to see if he could join them. He came back quickly and announced in a shocked voice:
"Mom, those kids all speak French!"
I replied, "Well yes, we are in France...".
He exclaimed rather indignantly:
"But do they have to speak French ALL DAY LONG?!!"

RSTravelers

ellenbw, SO cute!....leave it to a little kid to come up with such a good one. I'm sure he was thinking that would really be something to have to speak French all the time.

LaurenKahn1

I do a lot of tour work in Washington, DC, with groups. If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me "What's that?" when he was standing in front of the Lincoln Memorial. . . . They usually realize they have made a really stupid remark immediately afterwards. My answer is always, "It's the Lincoln Memorial" with no disparaging remarks. Hey, I'm a tour guide and have to be nice to my guests.

The classic London silly question is "Why did they build Windsor Castle so close to the airport?" Someone actually said that on the plane once when we flew over. I was on personal travel.

On cruise ships the classic silly question is "What time is the midnight buffet?" I don't think they get enough to eat.

Sirithturwen

Well, this thread is for Europe and this doesn't happen in Europe, but it does feature Europeans!

I used to work as a tour guide in the old town of Quebec City, and because site I was showing (the Citadelle) had not only a Canadian regiment but also one of the residences of Canada's Head of State (governor general), we'd mention Canada's monarchic system quite a bit. I realised I should have been more precise with my mentions of "the queen", as I was asked at the end of the tour by a French lady if I was talking about the Queen of France... I know the old town is historic, but we did not keep a monarchy following people that were beheaded more than 200 years ago...

There was also one time when a french lady wanted to know where to go to see the Ice Hotel, in july (note - the ice hotel is only solid during the winter!)

And finally, one American man who tried to convince me during a 5min monologue that Quebec should indeed separate itself from Canada (there is a movement of independentism here) and would be better off with the USA, that Canada was crap, French language unnecessary, etc. In a Texan accent. To me who is French-Canadian. He was lucky the fact that I was in uniform kept me from giving me a piece of my mind!

GreenDragon

I would love to make a book like this - due credit given to the sources of the stories, of course. Anyone game?

pdx

I was thinking a NYT article. I bet it would make the "Most Emailed" list.