French men....in Paris

Old Jul 17th, 2007, 08:09 PM
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French men....in Paris

So where can a single American girl, who is somewhat chic and cute, meet some cute French boys? Ok 35-40 year old guys?
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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 02:09 AM
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My advice would be;

stroll around whichever arrondissement you're staying in (or pick one that you fancy), find a bar that you like the look of and grab a table on the terrace.

Order a glass of red wine and drink it slowly whilst looking simultaneously sultry and mysterious. My guess is that you won't be on your own for long...

Let us know how you get on!
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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 04:31 AM
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I always get talked/propositioned to by every cab driver, someone on the Metro, or just sitting in the Luxemborg Gardens.
I never got approached by sitting at a cafe. A bar where you're standing or mingling might be a better bet.
Now 1/2 of these encounters might have been by men with mischief on their mind, but one thing is sure, French men are good looking!
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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 05:42 AM
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Cammci sez: "Now 1/2 of these encounters might have been by men with mischief on their mind,"

99%?
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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 05:45 AM
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I got "propositioned" just by walking the streets. DH dissapeared for about five minutes to pick up a newspaper and sure enough a (gorgeous!) French guy approached me.

Tracy
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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 06:00 AM
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It's not hard to meet French men if you are a lone female in Paris, especially in bars or cafés, as French women don't often frequent such places on their own, especially not in the evenings.

Be aware though, that they can be quite old fashioned in their views and even having what you think is an "innocent" chat with a man, you may find yourself getting more than you bargained for, as many French men see such interaction as an open invitation.

Plenty of foreign women think it's amusing to flirt with the cute French men, but please be savvy and don't get yourself into any dangerous situations.

Flirting/dating codes do differ from one country to the next, and what's seen as innocent in the US might well be interpreted as a come-on in France.

OK end of lecture - just wanted to add my few words (based on my own experiences in France by the way!!)
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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 06:19 AM
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Once you've been there you'll realize that the question you need to be asking is not where or how to meet them, but how to get rid of them, as they can be pretty persistent about following you in down the street. It's so common that the French have a word for it: draguer.

As mentioned upthread, cab drivers may chat you up, though I've never had one be pushy. Servers in restaurants, salesmen in shops, and random guys on the street may approach you.
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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 06:46 AM
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Sitting alone in a park, even if you're reading a book and minding your own business, will usually bring somebody to chat with you. (cammci mentioned the Luxembourg gardens--yes indeed, lots of drageurs there) I've been chatted up when I was just standing on a bridge and admiring the view.

Hanl is right--what you might see as a perfectly ordinary conversation could be interpreted as an invitation for more. Last year during my trip I chatted about the weather with the night clerk at my hotel with the aim of practicing my French, only to have him phone up to my room later and invite me down for a glass of champagne. (I didn't go.) I guess it's not customary for Frenchwomen on their own to chit-chat with men, or maybe it's the idea that an American woman must be easy, I don't know. Maybe we (American women) come across as more approachable because we're conditioned to smile a lot and be friendly.

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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 06:51 AM
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I've shared these experiences too. I'm not too chic nor cute anymore. (I loathe the phrase, "such a handsome woman" ... WTH?) anyway, heed the advice.
LOL, I turned down the offer to share a glass of wine...when he heard my response he said in English, "Ah, Americain. A coke perhaps. Non? With ice?"
So maybe we get stereoptyped as well?
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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 07:25 AM
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It's nothing to do with being American: French women are also approached, and in fact there are a number of set phrases that young women use to discourage suitors (mostly having to do with asking them to not trip over your heels).

And you don't have to be doing anything so outrageously seductive as sitting on a park bench reading or drinking a glass of wine in a cafe: my last trip to Paris featured a very eager-to-please young man in a shoe shop, and I can assure you he wasn't just trying to sell me a pair of shoes.

Don't worry about refusing them---a polite (but firm) "no" suffices.
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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 07:40 AM
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ladies,

could you suggest effective ways to ditch the drageurs? i'm sure some can be very persuasive ...

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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 07:52 AM
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The best way to "ditch the dragueurs" is not to start talking to them in the first place!! So no sharing of personal information like your name or where you come from, no smiling and trying to be friendly... just ignore them, pretend you can't understand them, and avoid eye contact too!
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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 07:52 AM
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or enjoy it till it lasts!
 
Old Jul 18th, 2007, 08:38 AM
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I've been approached by men in France sitting at a cafe, a couple times they were nice enough. One was horrible and I had to call over management to get him to leave me alone. That wasn't even a small cafe, but La Coupole so he really was being aggressive by coming to sit at my table when he was not originally sitting at the table next to me.

I have never been propositioned by guys on the street, in the metro, or cab drivers, and I don't think those are the same thing. I am not friendly to people like that nor do I invite unwanted attention from guys like that. They are also some sleazy men who hang around the parks harrassing woman who sit there alone (eg, Luxembourg gardens). That isn't the same thing as a nice guy chatting with you in a cafe. IN fact, some of them are complete creeps, but some of them are panhandlers.

I did meet a cute French lawyer, 40ish when I went to Caveau de la Huchette. Try that (it is music and dancing).
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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 08:52 AM
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Try reading a bit on www.petiteanglaise.com or www.parisblagueur.blogspot.com. There should be some hints there, or you could even ask directly for advice. I see references to an internet dating site called "meetic", which might help.
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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 10:13 AM
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or, what I've used in the US..well, in english of course <G>

Non. Mais merci de demander.

Then look away
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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 10:48 AM
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One year on a whim I learned how to say "hi sailor, new in town?" in French. I said it once to a man in a cafe. Interesting reaction, try it.
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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 10:56 AM
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Well, tell us, Seaurchin!! Sounds like a good story.
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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 01:55 PM
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It turned out he was a Dutch man with a wild sense of humor, I have never known anyone like him. We dated for about a year and then he moved to Buenos Aires and we lost touch.
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Old Jul 18th, 2007, 03:20 PM
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Hey everyone,

This thread is great lol...When in Paris i as you say you are cute and chic then men will come to you, believe me! lol...when I was in Paris last May I was 35lbs overweight (have since dropped the weight if I may pat myself on the back lol ) and that was no deterrant for cat calls, "dragueurs" etc etc... and they are quite persistant, but came nowhere near the men in Italy. I was actually seriously scared for my safety a few times in Italy, even from the soldiers on the street. One guy was sick enough to stick his hand down his pants in front of me....I was so disgusted!! I'm not dissing the country, I loved it to death and will be back many times, but had by far the most trouble with men there lol.

Whatever you choose to do, just be smart and alert and assertive you'll be fine!!

Enjoy ***wink wink***

Layla
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