Georgeanne

I am a long time devotee of this board and have used the many tips and advice I have received here. Now I am going to be "traveling" here at home. I am a schoolteacher and recently accepted a job to teach the english language arts program for the CP or 1st grade classes at a french school here in Dallas Texas. The school is actually owned by Mission Lalique Francais and is truly a "french school" not an american school that teaches french.

My question (one of many I am sure to come -may sound silly but I am an American trying not to start off on the wrong foot!)

I would like to bring my fellow CP teachers who are all french a little something to begin the school year. I am thinking a small plant for their desks. Is this something that they would find strange? I know this seems a small thing but I am already quickly learning that it is the small cultural differences and missteps that I make that set the tone. (As well some of the small things that have been said and done to me have seemed odd.)

O.k. I know those who are reading this may be saying this isn't travel but I am going to be knee deep in french culture everyday at school so it's my travel for this year!

P.S. Can you help with a small line written in french along the lines of I am excited to teach with you and am looking forward to the school year?

Thanks
The completely "non-french" speaking Texan!

Georgeanne

TTT
Not wanting this to get lost.

mclaurie

I am not an expert on this Georgeanne, but there are others who are (or claim to be )

You might consider getting the book <i>French or Foe</i> by Polly Platt which has been mentioned here as a primer on living/working/visiting France. If you go to the Amazon website for the book, you'll also see several other books of the same ilk listed there.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...95964?v=glance

Also, the website www.executiveplanet.com

has been mentioned here and has some basic info for those working abroad. While you are in the US, if all the other teachers are from France they <i>will</i> think a gift is strange, especially if you don't know them. On the website I just mentioned, the first listing under &quot;gift giving&quot; in France says

&quot;Be aware that displays of warmth and generosity between business associates are not the norm in French business culture. Giving presents is acceptable here, but exercise discretion.&quot;

Your question initially reminded me of a few previous threads here in which Americans wanted to bring gifts to b &amp; b owners in Europe where they were staying or owners of homes they were renting. In those instances, I think the general consensus was not to do it. Here are the threads in case you want to have a read

Gift appropriate? (for owners of a gite in France)
http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...p;tid=34490319

Host gift for b &amp; b owner in Venice
http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...p;tid=34468127

It sounds to me like you're worrying about feeling like &quot;odd man out&quot; if you're the only American and you think a gift would be a way to make a friendship gesture. I would suggest, if you want to do something, perhaps bring some type of food for the teacher's lounge. If you happen to know of a great French bakery or chocolate shop they may not know it about, so much the better. The other way to do it would be to get some food that's uniquely &quot;Texan.&quot; I'd say just be yourself and have some patience. It may take some time to make friends. Good luck.

ira

Hi G,

The French are more formal and less outgoing than we are.

I suggest that you wait until you have been introduced and they have opened up to you before you bring individual gifts.

I think that something for everyone, such as a cake, would be more appropriate.

ira

PS,

Let us know how your &quot;year in France&quot; goes.

Underhill

You might want to have a look at the French Culture threads and those about the French language over at bonjourparis.com.

PatrickEssen

Bringing plants into the US can be a real problem at Customs (specifically Dept of Agriculture). You can buy some plants and bulbs in Holland that are approved for entry into the US but I have never seen this system in France. What about something less problematic, like writing paper, French chocolates (assuming you can keep them from melting in the Texas heat!) or something that won't get you in big trouble with the Ministry of Fatherland Security. Something like plant smuggling could go on your permanent record...

PatrickEssen

oh, i just re-read your original post. you aren't going to france at all are you? Please ignore my previous post. Good luck in your new job.

NYCFoodSnob

I think Ira might be on to something.

Given this is a professional situation, I would forego any idea of giving strangers anything on the first day, week, or month of the job. To me, your thoughtful gesture sounds imposing and insecure, some kind of (perceived) compensation for something that might be lacking in you.

There is always an appropriate time and place for any kind gesture but will your motive be questioned? There can be unforeseen consequences if your gesture is perceived as ingratiating, manipulating, and/or controlling. When proving yourself on any job, &quot;nice&quot; can only carry you so far. Intelligence and competence are far more rewarding.

It's much safer and more meaningful to think of yourself as equal as you enter into this work. As you get to know your co-workers, little by little you can reveal more of yourself and offer something thoughtful to them down the road.

rex

Not wanting to come across as rude were the comments from NYCFS really <i>rude</i>?) - - I am fascinated to know more about this school, who goes there, and how/why a job was offered to someone who does not speak French - - at least at some cursory level.

Was the hiring last minute? Will you be plunging into any plan for rapid immersion French yourself? Have you not already?

If, by mid-October, you have not shown substantial interest and progress in sharing with your colleagues the ability to look at the world through <i>two</i> languages, then your attempt at &quot;bonding&quot; through any creative expression in word or gifts will have missed the mark, in my opinion.

Meilleurs voeux... pour une merveilleuse annee...

Rex

lexluther

I say just be yourself and do whatever you feel like doing - If you would have gotten a gift for non french teachers then do the same - If you wouldn't then don't.

Have a good year!

NYCFoodSnob

Well, if my advice above was &quot;perceived&quot; as rude in any way, that just goes to show how people's perceptions, whether wrong or not, are intrinsically connected to their actions and reactions, reinforcing the point of my first post.

I also suggest the psychology behind any &quot;displays of solidarity&quot; at the workplace are nothing more than thinly-veiled group hugs of insecurity. Maybe this is considered appropriate behavior in Texas schools but I've never seen it in schools in Manhattan where I have lectured for years. (If a teacher slightly indicates any form of insecurity here, the students will eat them for lunch.)

Lastly, Georgeanne, considering how grossly you misinterpreted my sincere attempt at offering thoughtful assistance, considering your defensive response to my sincere post, and considering your command of English grammar, I now say you've got your work cut out for yourself, dear. (I sure hope that's an idiom they understand clearly in Texas.)

SeaUrchin

I don't see how Food Snob's opinion could be perceived as rude, but it seems like some posts have been deleted in between.

I agree that your gesture of house plants would be perceived differently in a different culture and would seem to make you appear needy and inequal.

I look back on things I have done in different cultures and now with more knowledge I wince. I think you have received good advice here.

NYCFoodSnob

Unfortunately, only Georgeanne's reply to my first post has been deleted. None of this makes any sense without her reply post. Nonetheless, the OP knows the deal here and that's all that matters to me.

ira

Gee, I must have missed something.

I don't see NYCFS's post as in anyway rude.

kismetchimera

Be friendly but not pushy...Americans believe in instant friendship, Europeans are more formals about it.. and it may take them awhile to warm up..

You are going to have a terrific job, just relax and enjoy..

kismetchimera

After reading NTCFoodSnob post, I did not see anything rude about it..too bad that Georgeanne took it as an offense to her character and motives.

clevelandbrown

Georgeanne: I think you are fishing in the wrong lake. Me experience is that there is a world of difference between tourism (which is what we discuss here) and business. For example, in business, we Americans like to get on a first-name basis immediately; in Germany, by contrast, the business relationship remains formal (Herr so and so...) for years, and unless you become really close, forever.

I've never done business in France, but I think what you need is advice from people who have done so. Perhaps the state department or some international business school would be a better source of information for you.

On the other hand, perhaps all the other teachers are busy trying to find out how to work with you!

Will the students be French or American, or assorted?

Christina

I don't know about schools in Texas, but I think bringing a gift for every employee in a new job location is odd, in any case, whether French or American teachers. I wouldn't do it, it just seems weird. This is a job, you aren't a houseguest there. I wouldn't ever bring gifts to every employee in the office of a new job I was starting.

If you don't know French at all, I wouldn't try to write them something in French, either. They must know English. If you don't give gifts, you don't have need for the note, I guess, but you wouldn't say you are &quot;excited&quot; about such a situation. I think you really mean you are looking forward to it or that you are happy to be there or something, but excited doesn't translate well.

ira

?I think you really mean you are looking forward to it or that you are happy to be there or something, but excited doesn't translate well. &lt;

An excellent point.

I ran &quot;excited&quot; through an online translator from English to French to English and got back &quot;aroused&quot;.