ira

Hi UC,

Good advice from WT.

> i am a hopeless romantic so i am keeping my fingers crossed.<

That's what all we hopeless romantics do.

"Your cheatin' heart will make you weep,
You'll cry and cry and try to sleep.
But sleep won't come the whole night through,
Your cheatin' heart will tell on you.

When tears come down like fallin' rain.
You'll toss around and call my name.
You'll walk the floor the way I do,
Your cheatin' heart will tell on you.

Your cheatin' heart will pine some day
And crave the love you threw away.
The time will come when you'll be blue,
Your cheatin' heart will tell on you."

The immortal Hank Williams.

Nora_S

If she used you to get a green card, that tells you what kind of person she is. If she then betrayed you, that tells you even more. There is no point in trying to get her to admit anything; it won't make you feel any better. This is not love that you feel for her; she is not worthy of love. And she is not going to change.

Listen to Ira---walk away and get a lawyer, soon. Once things are underway, leave on your vacation so she can't reach you and try to lure you back.

Good luck to you.

mr_go

Count me among those wishing you the best of luck. And among those suggesting that you put vacation plans on the back burner until you take care of biz. It's a bummer, but it must be done. Ask around, and get a good lawyer. Do it right away.

When it's all under control and you're ready to get away, I'll cast my vote for the Swiss Alps. Fresh air and stunning scenery will heal many wounds.

Take care, and don't be a stranger.

chicagolori

Having been in your shoes, my heart goes out to you. Its hard to believe now, but you can get through it and prevail.

I think you need to focus on protecting yourself since you are really vulnerable right now. Try to focus less on what she is going to say or do and put your energy into self protection. Get a lawyer so you have an objective viewpoint.

What you are going through is essentially the grieving process as if someone died. Same stages and you will go through them whether you want to or not. Its normal but painful.

It sounds like you are a nice person. Be careful. People like her eat people like you for breakfast. You run the risk of falling for her manipulation. It would be nice if people like her had a big sign on their forehead that said announced, "I am about to manipulate you." but they don't so you will have to recognize it.

Consider getting a counseler for a while to keep you honest with yourself. You will ultimately need to figure out how not to have this happen again. You might need some help with that.

And lastly - I would not go on a vacation. Its sounds cliche but its an attempt for a geographic fix and it won't change anything. Maybe read all the trip reports, looks at the pictures and that can help you see beyond where you are now and get your mind off it a bit. Then go on vacation when you are a less fragile and shattered.

I wish I could pick you up from this spot on your journey of life and drop you down the lane on to a happier spot. You will get there.

mcnyc

Considering your circumstances, I applaud you on your decision ucsun. I know it's a hard decision, but you know in your heart of hearts that it's the right thing to do. You don't deserve someone like that. Leave while you can.

You've gotten some great advice here. First, get thee to a good lawyer and protect any and all assets.

cigalechanta

Here's hoping everything turns out well. I fear a nephew is in the same situation.