logandog, I love that one.

And again, for the third day, thank you for the good laughs everyone. Well except for the ones that were deleted of course!! For that I send a thank you to Fodors. And how great they didn't delete the whole thread.

May everyone have something to chuckle about in these coming days. Cheers!

At 20: tri-weekly

At 40: try weekly

At 60: try weakly

LOL Faina!!!! Have a good weekend dear friend.

Neil: LOL Bless Blue!!!

LOL Faina!! see why can Faina get away with a joke like thas, but mine and Patrick's were deleted right away!

like that*

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the president exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands.

Finally, president looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

A young redhead goes into the doctor's
office and says her body hurts wherever
she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes
her knee and screams, pushes her ankle
and screams. Everywhere she touches
makes her scream.
The doctor says, "You're not really a
redhead, are you?"
"No," she says "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so" the doctor says "Your
finger is broken."

LOL, htm

Will I offend people with lawyer jokes?

Positively Karen, Go ahead. While we wait...

Two New Jersey hunters have bagged a stag and are dragging him through the forest, feet first, his head and rack bumping getting scatched as they bump against the ground.

Another hunter walks by from the opposite direction and says, "Hey, you guys! Why not pick him up and carry him by the head?"

The two hunters ignore him, continuing through the woods. After a few minutes, one of them says, "What an idiot! We're not even going that way!"

The Soldier, Sailor & Marine walk into a bar, and the Soldier orders first and asks the bartender for an S&W. The bartender asks him what was an S&W. The soldier says, why, that's a scotch & water.

The Sailor then places his order and asks for a WOR. The bartender asks what was a W-O-R. The Sailor says, why, that's a Whiskey on the Rocks.

The Marine bellies up to the bar and places his order. I'll have a 13 he says. The bartender says, what's a 13? The Marine replied, that's a 7 & 7.

A guy walks into a bar and seats himself next to a nice-looking blonde girl. She doesn't notice him at first, being absorbed in a TV newscast of a man on a 10th-floor window ledge, threatening to jump. After a short while, though, she turns to him and says "I bet he doesn't jump."
"You think so?", he replies, "How about a $20 bet on that?"
She immediately pulls out $20 and lays it on the bar, just as the guy jumps.
She shrugs. "Well, I guess you win."
"Nah, I can't take your money," he replies, "I saw this on the 5 o'clock news, so I already knew he'd jump."
"Yeah, I saw it too," says the blonde, "but I didn't think he'd do it again."

LOL, hdm, when a friend sent that to me this past week, it was not Rumsfeld but a Blonde

How many is a Brazilian ? lol

Still Laughing !!

An Englishwoman and her young son were travelling in a taxi in New York. As they were driving through a rather seedy looking part of town, the boy became fascinated by the garishly made up women in short skirts and high heels who seemed to be accosting some of the men passing by.

"Mummy" the boy asked, "what are those ladies doing?"

The mother, clearly embarassed by the question, replied: "I expect they're lost and are asking people for directions"

The taxi driver overheard this and interrupted: "why not tell me boy the truth, those women are prostitutes."

The mother blushed more brightly at this remark but the boy wouldn't let it go:

"What are prostitutes Mummy, are they like other women, do they have children too?"

"Of course" the mother replied, "that's where New York taxi drivers come from."


;-)

Muck

A 3-year-old boy in the bath was examining his private parts with interest. "Mum," he said, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet, they're not", replied Mum.

Does anyone else get that blond jokes are not only racist but sexist? llamalady, maybe this joke would be at least funny if you had started it off, "one of my relatives..."

L84sky
If it had started with 'one of my relatives' it would have been a news report, not a joke!

Ok, here's my contribution.

"Tenjewberrymuds"

To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005. The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:

Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"

G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What??"

RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"

G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

G: "What?"

RSquot;An toes. July Sahn toes?"

G: "I don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bodder?"

G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Excuse me?"

RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"

G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"

G: "Whatever you say."

RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."

G : "You're very welcome."

Reminds me of talking to the SBC help desk