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2001: A Maitaitom Italian Odyssey - "The Lost Trip Report"

2001: A Maitaitom Italian Odyssey - "The Lost Trip Report"

Old May 8th, 2013, 02:49 PM
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Day 7 – First Class Baby, An Oasis In Venice, Don’t Drink At Lunchtime, Hey I Like This City After All, On The Mark, Say The Secret Word And Win $100, Cocktails In The Garden, Fancy Seeing You Here, Sardinian Specialties, Yes Sir That’s My Baby and Mary Tries To Horse Around At Dinner

On our 1996 trip, Tracy and I took a daytrip to Venice (we were staying in nearby Padua), and to be truthful, I couldn’t figure out what the allure was of this city. When we disembarked the vaporetto near Piazza San Marco, there were hucksters selling crap of all kinds. “This is Disneyland on speed,” I said, as we looked out onto the incredibly overcrowded Piazza San Marco (and that didn’t even count the pigeons).

We had a terrible lunch (it was the last time we ever took a Rick Steves’ restaurant recommendation), tried to escape the maddening hordes at every turn, and after about five hours we (and the other couple we were with) decided we couldn’t get out of Venice fast enough.

Returning home, I went on an AOL Travel Board and posed the question “Why Would I Ever Want To Go Back To Venice?” and listed what I did not like about it, and if someone could give me some reasons to return since I knew it was a favorite of many posters. Of course, I got the usual idiotic kneejerk answers from jerks, “Well, if you didn’t love Venice, don’t go back you moron, and leave Venice to people who love it.”

Fortunately, there were some people on that board with an IQ higher than a centipede who answered intelligently. Those responses persuaded me that we gave Venice short shrift (“spend the night and experience the magic of Venice”), so I booked a couple of nights for us in Venice on this trip to give it another whirl.

I had purchased first class tickets for our train journey. The tickets didn’t cost much more than second class, so “what the hell,” I thought. While on board, we checked out the dining car that sort of reminded us of North By Northwest, but fortunately the Italian police were not after us.

Mary remembers us being served “great tea, strong coffee and little cookies.” I would have to assume most of that strong coffee was consumed by me.

Upon arriving in Venice, we hopped on a vaporetto (yes, we paid) that would take us near our Venice lodging, the Pensione Accademia on Dorsoduro. Getting off at the Accademia stop, within seconds we began walking and were headed toward the hotel (so we thought). In what is common for this group, we missed the little alley we should have gone through, asked a very nice person for directions, and within about 5-10 minutes were safely at the hotel. I must say, it was love at first sight.

Pensione Accademia was lovely, complete with beautiful, quiet gardens in front and back and canals on either side. Situated in front of the hotel was a nice outdoor breakfast area, as well. Our room had beautiful inlaid hardwood floors, beamed ceilings and a 4-poster bed.

The guy at the desk gave us a lunch recommendation on the Fondamenta delle Zattere that runs along Canale della Giudecca. It was a Tuesday, and when we reached the restaurant we saw it was closed on Tuesdays. At this point Tracy and I noticed something different from our last trip; there was a noticeable lack of tourists over here (that’s why we became so enamored with Pensione La Calcina on our next two trips in the 200os).

Instead, we decided on some pizza and beer for lunch at a place located on the canal. Once again the alcohol at lunch proved to be a bad idea, as we were all tired afterward. However, we pushed on to explore a little of Venezia.

Needless to say, Venice made quite a different impression upon us on this trip, and the location of our hotel was definitely a plus. Across the Ponte dell’Accademia we walked, and in about ten minutes we were standing in the middle of Pigeon Poop Square (aka Piazza San Marco). Although I find the charm of pigeons flying in your face to be somewhat perplexing, the square wasn’t as crowded as our first trip, the weather was really nice, and suddenly I found myself getting into a Venice groove. I even posed for a (very quick) pigeon picture, and then carefully checked my shirt for any fecal evidence after the photo op.

After perusing items that fortunately we didn’t buy at a few nearby shops, we visited the Basilica di San Marco. The cathedral had been spruced up in the past five years, so the mosaics stood out much better. I regretted that we didn’t spend a few extra lira to go up and see the horses (not real ones but bronze replicas of the original bronze ones). Come to think of it, I still haven’t done that…another something for my “to do” list.

Exiting the cathedral, Kim and Mary ran into acquaintances of theirs from San Diego. Then, at some point, according to her notes, I began following Kim around the square “like Groucho Marx.” There are times I even frighten myself.

It was unlike me, but I relented to the pressure of the group to relax back at the hotel. Kim and Mary had once again had trouble sleeping (Mary blamed it on the Chianti), and Tracy said a little rest never killed anyone.

Back at the Pensione Accademia, we were served complimentary lemon ice tea and limoncello in the garden (it’s possible that might have been my first limoncello experience). We sat with some Brits (who we understood about as well as the Italians) and enjoyed a lovely afternoon. The Brits had been coming to Venice for the past 14 years and coincidentally were spending a fortnight on this trip.

I also had my first-ever Bellini, which is a cocktail that incorporates Prosecco and white peach purée. Supposedly the founder of Harry’s Bar in Venice invented this drink sometime in the 1930s or 1940s. It was quite refreshing and complemented the limoncello rather well. I immediately asked the hotel if they had a spare liver.

Having been overcome by the beer (and limoncello), Tracy took a short nap afterward. Don’t tell anyone, but I might have dozed off, too.

On this night the two couples would split up for dinner. No sense hating each other less than a week into the trip! Departing the hotel, Tracy and I ran into Ron and Martha (even the Italian Tourist Witness Protection Program could not save them from our group’s clutches). We agreed to meet up the following day, and maybe do a gondola ride the next evening with the six of us.

For some odd reason (except for the fact it had been recommended) I wanted to try Sardinian food, which was interesting since I knew absolutely nothing about Sardinian food. So, after a nice walk, we ended up at L’Incontro (Dorsoduro 3061, Rio Tera Canal). By the way, it is still around in 2013 and garners mostly positive reviews.

My motto had always been (or at least since we stepped inside that restaurant), “When at a Sardinian restaurant, do what the Sardinians do,” so we left our meal up to the server. Results were decidedly mixed, but mostly positive

We started with a meat platter, or as Tracy called it, “Fat with herbs.” I have no idea what it was, but one of the meats looked like bacon, and it was damned good. So was the salami and what we remember to be Parma ham (aka prosciutto).

The second course for Tracy was a tortellini with gorgonzola and pesto and what Tracy classified was a “weird looking pasta with pomodoro and pecorino” for me. Tracy recalls that my pasta was better than her dish, although her dish sounds much better to me.

I followed with a main course of thinly sliced beef with rosemary, while Tracy had a delectable pork chop in brandy sauce. We split a dessert of panna cotta with fresh strawberry sauce. Oh, I do remember that one. This restaurant was the start of my future panna cotta addiction.

As we ate our panna cotta, we spied a nice couple at the next table struggling to get through their dinner due to a rambunctious, but cute, child. We found out (none of the four of us are shy about conversing with strangers…kids, don’t try that at home) that the couple was from Brazil and living in Philadelphia, where the husband attended school. Their little kid, 5-month-old Luca, was, to say the least, a handful.

Most of my experience in life with little children has been to avoid them at all cost, but we were relaxed, and I sort of felt sorry that this nice couple could not enjoy a few minutes of dining. Soon, little Luca was sitting on “Uncle Maitai’s” lap, and they were able to eat in peace, and I was able to confirm that we would never, ever have children.

Meanwhile, across town, Kim and Mary were having a dining adventure of a different sort. She said the restaurant offered “typical Venetian food.” Mary looked at the menu, and saw that they served “colt,” which she assumed was a type of fish (perhaps a seahorse).

When the waitress stopped by their table, Mary asked if “colt was a fish.” The waitress did not speak English, so Mary pointed to the word and made a swimming motion with her hands. Damn, I wish I’d been there for that!

The waitress laughed, shook her head back and forth and “neighed” while pawing in the air. Mary said, she didn’t feel like “horsing around” (I have a negative effect on people’s humor even when they’re not around me), so they decided on a couple of nice pasta dishes to start and fish for their main course.

They then hoofed it back to the hotel and ran into us after about six furlongs. She related the near horse dining experience to us. I said she should have tried the horse. “It’s the perfect Mane course,” I told her. Well, that’s our pony tale, and we’re sticking to it.

We all slept like babies (except probably for Luca and his parents) in the quiet comfort of the Pensione Accademia. This good night’s sleep would get us ready for a full day in Venice and a night where we would once again witness Dr. Mary spring into action…although on this night she would not be a doctor, but a dentist.

Day 8 – Eggscellent Breakfast, This Place Blows (in a good way), Cemetery At Sea, One Of My All-Time Favorite Museums, Small Bites, Presenting Jackie-O, ‘O Sole Mio, Near Decapitation, Fish Feast and You Look A Little Down In The Mouth
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Old May 8th, 2013, 03:15 PM
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I am loving this report! We are going to Venice soon!
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Old May 8th, 2013, 08:44 PM
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willow...have a great time in Venice!

We have been back to Venice twice after this trip. The people who responded positively were correct. Venice was magical!

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Old May 9th, 2013, 10:15 AM
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Tracy just emailed me a correction (a small correction): It seems little Luca (Luka) was around 2 years old, not 5 months. Just another reason I never became a parent...I wouldn't even know how old my kid was.

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Old May 9th, 2013, 10:38 AM
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Hey mtt, Glad to read that Venice won you over!
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Old May 11th, 2013, 03:46 PM
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Thanks for writing this catch up trip report, very, very entertaining as always.
So happy you changed your mind about Venice too!
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Old May 12th, 2013, 05:35 PM
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I love your writing. We are going in September and this report is making me very excited about our trip. Cant wait for more.
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Old May 24th, 2013, 07:07 AM
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Maitaitom, please continue with your trip report! I am in withdrawal!
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Old May 24th, 2013, 07:47 AM
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Tom, if someone ever does decide to publish you. Please let us know. I'll buy it. You had me at those chicken sandwiches...
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Old May 24th, 2013, 08:52 AM
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Oh those chicken sandwiches...I can still taste them. I'll get back to this trip report over the long weekend.

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Old May 24th, 2013, 11:08 AM
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Amazing trip report! Love your writing and plan on checking out some of your other trip reports!
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Old May 25th, 2013, 11:54 AM
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Day 8 – Eggscellent Breakfast, This Place Blows (in a good way), Cemetery At Sea, One Of My All-Time Favorite Museums, Small Bites, Presenting Jackie-O, ‘O Sole Mio, Near Decapitation, Fish Feast and You Look A Little Down In The Mouth

I had to reread my notes a dozen times today, because I did something on this Venice morning I never do on vacation…sleep in! By the time I meandered down to the lovely Pensione Accademia breakfast room a little after 9 a.m., Mary had already run into Ron and Martha and confirmed we were all going for a gondola ride that night.

Kim, Mary and I had a great breakfast of scrambled eggs, cereal, fresh kiwis, yogurt, orange juice and strong coffee with warm milk. There were also menu items if you wanted to order anything else. It was quite a spread. Tracy joined us later and after a delicious breakfast, it was time to go.

It was an incredibly beautiful day, so we decided to grab a water taxi (booked through the hotel) and travel out to the island of Murano. We loved the water taxi. We got a quick suntan as our hair blew in the wind on the ride over (well my hair didn’t, since I had some weird short cut in those days).

I was humming Heart of Glass by Blondie as we docked near the main square. Murano has been a glass-blowing mecca since the 10th century, or so our guide who greeted us upon arrival told us.

We were directed toward the furnace (well, not inside of it) and watched as the glass blowers went about their delicate work. It was pretty fascinating. Our guide told us that the material used to make the glass is imported from France. Who knew?

There were a number of generations working at this factory, and the factory is closed in July and August…too hot. Then it was time for our guide to take the suckers (excuse me, four savvy travelers) to the showroom filled with beautiful vases, stemware and other glass products.

Even our group, known to overspend at the drop of a glass champagne bucket, realized that $800 for a set of stemware was a tad above our meager budget. Yep, a service for eight would have cost a cool $6,4000 (hard to remember back to the 2001 exchange rate, but I believe at the time $6,400 was about a hundred zillion lira).

Our guide then made the observation that only East Coast people and people from California buy this stuff. “Tourists from the U.S. Midwest never buy much,” he said. We then told him we were from Kansas (hey, we flew over it on the way to Italy), so that pretty much ended his hard-sell spiel.

The group didn’t get out for free, however, as we did splurge for a couple of bracelets and a necklace. We didn’t want to give Kansas too bad a name.

Not wanting to splurge for another water taxi, we hopped on the Vap and took it back to Venice. We looked out onto what looked like an island oasis, and we were told that it was actually a cemetery called Isola di San Michele, which was once a prison.

Back in Venice, we walked the back alleys and streets, and got lost a few times until we reached Piazza San Marco. Tracy and Mary were in the mood to buy things (I think that Murano salesman had done some subliminal selling), so they did a little shopping before it was on to our next destination, which turned out to be the first of three visits we have made to this museum in the past 12 years.

The Palazzo Ducale (Doges Palace) was home to the Doge Of Venice, or the Big Pecorino. The audio guide at this museum was one of the best (and still is), and our visit lasted about two hours. We finally hit the Bridge of Sighs, where I believe I said for the first time, “Sighs Matters.” Kim, Mary and Tracy have heard that joke now on three trips, so I believe I will have to let it rest in peace.

After our Doges Palace tour, the two couples split up and had a late lunch. Tracy and I found a wine bar (yes, how shocking) and had some cicchetti, local appetizers found all over Venice and now prevalent as “small bites” at dozens of Los Angeles area restaurants.

We munched on crostinis topped with crab, cream cheese and sun-dried tomatoes, hard-boiled eggs and asparagus, whipped cheese and almonds. Crab was the winner. Some vino rosso washed down those small bites perfectly.

Tracy and I detoured to another spot on the canal and had a glass of Prosecco soaking in the late afternoon sun as we looked out on this beautiful sight. Tracy had her big sunglasses on, and with the sun beating down on us on a perfect Venice afternoon, it inspired me to call her “Jackie O” as she raised her glass of Prosecco.

I was ready for a nap, but Tracy realized we had to hurry back to the hotel for our next adventure.

We scurried back to the Pensione Accademia, where we met up with Ron, Martha, Kim and Mary in the lobby. It was time to head over to San Giglio, where the six of us would share a gondola on the Gondola Concerto Tour. Kim and Mary brought a bottle of Prosecco, Tracy and I a bottle of vino rosso, while Ron and Martha had bought some delicious cookies to take aboard. We were happy to share all of this with our gondolier, Marco (lots of Marcos over here), and he was happy to partake.

There were about a dozen or so gondolas zigzagging across the canals on this 45-minute excursion, and the gondoliers took turns showing off their singing skills. Tragedy was narrowly averted when Marco, singing loudly while not paying close attention (hmm, could it have been the vino), headed for a bridge that had little clearance for his noggin. Fortunately Marco knew what the word “duck” meant when we said it, or he might have had to retrieve his head and run to a spot where they would build an expensive cathedral.

The whole tour was a blast! People in the other gondolas were shocked that we had brought wine on board, and told us later they were mad they hadn’t thought of it. Ours was definitely the most fun of the gondolas.

Afterward, the six of us headed for dinner and wound up at Cantinone Storico located fairly near the Ponte dell’Accademia. Once again, we placed ourselves in the waiter’s hands.

Although not really a fish aficionado, I started with the antipasto misti, which consisted of a platter of fresh scampi, raw sliced ahi tuna, anchovies and onions in lemon, all served with a delicious grilled toast.

Tracy opted for the shrimp with lettuce and lemon olive oil. Ron and Martha shared fresh asparagus and followed that up with scampi and artichoke risotto and some grilled salmon.

Our first course was spaghetti with spicy pomodoro and shellfish sauce. The heat of the dish was cooled of some by some vino bianco.

Kim and Mary began with the shrimp/lettuce combo and spaghetti accompanied by garlic and olive oil. Then Kim dined on the grilled salmon and Mary went the sea bass route. Damn, we ate a lot here!

For dessert, we all had a dish that consisted of gelato, limoncello and grappa. It was spectacular. Oh, and during dinner the waiter would just bring some extra things for us to try, including free glasses of Prosecco.

Although we had downed a substantial amount of wine and Prosecco on this evening, Dr. Mary still was on call, although I would have not wanted her to operate heavy machinery. In real life, Mary was a dental hygienist, and she noticed our headwaiter rubbing constantly at his jaw. Not believing he was posing as Rodin’s The Thinker, his actions were enough for this modern day Clara Barton to spring immediately into action.

Sure enough, the waiter admitted he was suffering from a terrible toothache. Kim was afraid Mary might extract the tooth right there in the restaurant, but fortunately she just pulled some drugs from her medical bag (aka purse) and told him what to purchase at the pharmacy the following day. It all added up to quite a night.

This was the trip when we all fell in love with Venice. “Disneyland on speed” was now but a distant memory. We knew we would return (and we have…twice…in 2005 and 2008).

Weighing about 25 pounds more than when we had woken up about 13 hours before, the four of us bade farewell to Ron and Martha who were staying on in Venice. Our group had to wake up early the next day, because it was back on the train to Florence, where we would pick up our rental car, frightening Italian citizens from the Tuscan and Umbrian countryside all the way down to the Amalfi Coast for the better part of the following week.

Next: Day 9 – Did I Run Over That Nun, Charming Chianti Countryside, Time To Greve, Mona Lisa’s Home Winery, Afternoon On The Campo, You’ll Walk Those 500+ Stairs In 2005, Hotel Fantastico and “Don’t Worry We’re Not Going To Kill You!”
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Old May 25th, 2013, 01:01 PM
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Oh, goody!

Carry on!
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Old May 27th, 2013, 07:32 AM
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Good show, Tom!
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Old Jun 5th, 2013, 06:57 AM
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What happened next??!!!
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Old Jun 5th, 2013, 07:05 AM
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We're hangin' here waiting for the next installment, Maitaitom. Hope you are okay and will continue this as usual hilarious rendering soon.
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Old Jun 5th, 2013, 01:49 PM
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Being that I'm still in Italy, it might be fun to retrace the path of the infamous MaiTai Gang. haha
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Old Jun 5th, 2013, 04:32 PM
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Unbelievably, I have been busy working (I know, very unlike me, but we have to pay for these trips). I'll get back to it soon, because Tracy and Mary have been on me, too. Tuscany here we come. Thanks.

By the way sarge, you are my hero. Hope you're having a great time. Enjoy your journey!!!

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Old Jun 6th, 2013, 09:58 PM
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Loving every word and waiting for more. Hope to visit Italy next year so I'll have to bookmark this.
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Old Jun 15th, 2013, 11:03 AM
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TTT
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