Tipping has become clumsy. We believe tips are gratis, that tipping is for above-expected service. I can think of only two cases when service on a ship wasn't above our expectations: in the dining room the entire 6 nights with Norwegian Cruise Line,and for 10 of 14 days in our stateroom on Royal Caribbean. We brought a good amount of cash and fancy envelopes for tips and took the tip charge off our account at some point in the cruise as usual. We prefer this traditional way of showing appreciation. It worked out well on 20 other cruises. We have since learned that tips are put in a pool and shared among the service crew, that on some ships lists are posted in service quarters with names of guests who removed their tips from their accounts. Now we leave the company recommended tips on our account and, if needed, go to the purser's desk to adjust the amounts up or down the night before the last day in fear of getting poor service. Has anyone had this same problem, and is there a better way to reward the best service?

I totally disagree with you. For as long as I can remember, for Americans (I don't know if you are or aren't one), it is an expected response to service, average tips for average service, good tips for better. If you tip appropriately, you don't have to worry about poor service from that angle - not that I believe these folks have time or energy to run around and read lists of passenger names who are possibe non-tippers. I am aware that for other parts of the world, there are different expectations at home. At first, many years ago, I didn't care for the "automatic tips" but have found them, in reality, an excellent way to make sure everyone is taken care of. We tip extra in person to anyone who did over and above. Regardless of how you feel, tips ARE a part of the salary and not extras, of these folks who work long and hard. Years ago when we used to cruise with Princess I was always amazed at the people who were looking for a way to avoid tipping, cheapskates. I would, personally, never go to ask for tips to be removed so that I could tip myself - there are too many people I would probably overlook. I certainly would never take the time and effort to go and pick out who we want to lower or up the tips to at the Purser's office, how picky in general. We prefer to cruise on Oceania, aside from cabin stewards, there are no dedicated personel to speak of. Dining is all open so we have different staff at every meal, etc. I always hated to carry all that cash and those little envelopes and divide it up at the end of the cruise. On Oceania I have never had service I would want to adjust downward anyway and if that should happen I would have spoken to someone before doing that. I think your traditional approach needs to be updated to this modern world and it's expectations. Tips are a very small part of a cruise budget. If you are not an American (you mentioned Norwegian which has American traditions), perhaps you need a little education on American expectations with regard to service personnel which is the basis of such tipping policies. Please take that suggestion in a kind way.

My read on this is that the OP has not refused to tip. The preference was to remove th auto tip and take care of it personally with cash in "fancy envelopes" which is a long ago tradition that some still prefer. I don't know if RCI has changed but last yr. on the AOS it was done this way too. The question posed now is how to appropriately tip for services rendered. Personally we leave the autotip and usually add some more at the end of our cruise if the sx. has been good which it usually is. We are always friendly with the sx. staff as we know just how long and hard they work and if they are nice to us like what usually happens we toss in more at the end and tell them we have used the autotip but want to give them some extra for all their efforts. Its never failed so far. One tidbit is that last yr. on the AOS we wanted to autotip to out acct. which you can do but found out that some of it goes to the Maitre'd. Well had had a problem with that, not only because he never showed his face but also because he tried to blow off our special food requests which had been made thru an RCI web address specific for our needs. We spoke to his boss who accomodated us as promised. No problems at all. Sorry but poor sx. will not get my monetary reward. The cabin steward, head and asst. waiters got extra money and the Maitre'd's share went to his boss in one of those envelopes.

A suggestion we got here many years ago was to tip ahead for cabin steward - after first night leave a $10-20 with a nice note thanking him/her for the cabin appearance upon arrival, listing any small request (like more pillows). We believe this has resulted in superior service on each cruise. My husband refers to this as "bribing the steward", but I prefer to think of it as pre-tipping.

A friend just pulled all their tips from their Princess cruise.. because of service problems.. the minute their room steward saw their name...there was an apology and they received superior service after that.. whats funny is that he WAS going to be geting an envelope.. You have to know that if they receive a less than stellar report.. whether its the waiter, steward or anybody else.. that affects their promotions and vacations.. I do like although I haven't done it and I think I will...pre-tip our room steward on our cruise in November, which is on NCL, but on Celebrity..not receiving excellent room service would be very, very unusul...

PM is correct about the reporting aspect effecting promotions. This is what a cabin steward told us and he also said its favorable for them to have their names mentioned on the comment cards. I do that as well as send a letter in after each of our cruises. I figure that of they work so hard a good word to the boss so to speak is deserved.

You're individual responses are each distinctively helpful. I do always tip, yes, and I also cite by name those who serve exceptionally well when filling out the comment card, knowing that advancements are based on passengers' satisfaction. My primary concern was how to tip as a personal gesture. I like the pre-tipping idea as well as notifying the cabin steward at the outset that we'll autotip. I agree now that the envelope idea is passe. I'll leave personal notes instead. (Yes, exceptional service on Celebrity is a given.) I'll try my new personal strategy next month on Holland America and next spring on RCL. Thanks so much.

If you adjust amount up, the adjusted amount will be poolled. If you want to tip a person, pay whatever is required, and give some cash on top to that employee.

Good idea!

Another tip question - are all staff included in the autotip?
As teatotalers who don't usually take advantage of activities, spas, late nite dining etc I want my tips to go to those whose services I use. Is there a "list" of who shares the autotips? Can you designate included and not included personnel?

I am facing retirement with one still in college, and use the inside cabin and self-touring at ports so that I can take advantage of cruise deals.

I really want to tip appropriately but I think its unfair to those who have provided service to share tips with others whose services were not used. I realize this isn't a modern way of thinking but I neither want to tip for unused services, nor want to stiff those whose services I depended upon.

Probably not all, as additional tips required in spa (maybe included in the price? not sure) or if you get drinks in bars, auto-gratuity is added, for example, if a drink is $7.95, you are charged $9.20 (approximately, I don't have a calculator)

As Dayenu states, any extra purchases such as alcohol, spa, etc., have an automatic gratuity added specifically to them (about 18%) so your pooled tips will not include such activities. Basically, pooled tips cover stateroom and dining staffs - both of which you will use. Gratuities should be part of your normal cruise budget when planning your trip not a way to save money. Not to belabor the point, these folks work long and hard for what little they are paid in general.

The final documents you receive before each cruise explain that tipping, like charli says, is for stateroom and dining room service. A suggested amount for each worker per day is stated. A discussion on cruisecritic.com this spring revealed that some ships' policies are that tips are divided equally among the personnel in each category, and that goes for cash given to these individuals as well. In effect, when this is the case, one's intent to reward an individual is lost. The move to autotipping was described by cruise lines as a means of convenience for passengers. In effect, it was also a way to make gratuity a service charge. The answer now would seem to be to book a cruise on a ship where the service is rated excellent and pay the recommended service charges. But nothing's for sure. Once on a 14 day cruise on a very respected cruise line all the cabins in the vicinity of ours had excellent service the first week, poor the second week. We learned from one of the stewards that many passengers had removed tips from their accounts. We cruise often; this was the first occurrence.