Have just speaking to someone saying that he chose St Barts for his vacation (I am the unofficial tourist board for the island) as, in his opinion, it is the only island in the Caribbean would feel comfortable being openly gay with his partner.

Is this the case?

No. My boss in Sint Maarten was openly gay & lived there for decades. I understand there was some incident at a bar there a while back but I lived there for 7 years on the same property with my boss & saw nothing particularly anti-gay & knew many gays who chose to vacation there year after year.

I saw 5-6 gay couples on Vieques (just off the coast of Puerto Rico) on my trip there in May of this year. Was jokingly told that Vieques is the San Francisco and the Northampton, MA, of the Caribbean.

Vieques, quite well known as a gay destination.

We have met many great people there. It is comforting to be in a place where everyone and anyone can be comfortable with who they are.

One of the real estate agencys states in their ad " we are a straight friendly business" !!

yes, St. Maarten has alwsy been a safe and gay friendly island. The "gay bashing" incident last year tarnished that reputaion, but I do beleive that St. Maarten is a good vaction spot for gays. There are many gays living and working here and running businesses.
This hotel in particular is run by 2 gay men and promotes itself as a gay friendly hotel.
http://www.delfinahotel.com/

Have not found a place like St. bart for gay men....it is a complete non-issue. Vieques has more of a Lesbian vibe. St. Marteen.....go to st bart.

Turks and Caicos, British Virgin Islands, US Virgin Islands, Grenadines - - - all friendly and tolerant, as long as one's behavior is respectful and appropriate. No problems there (at least at the higher-end places).

There are quite a few places where a gay couple could feel comfortable in the Caribbean, so limiting oneself to St. Barts (as lovely as it is) would be a shame. St. Croix has a gay beach resort (Sandcastle on the Beach). Curacao markets actively to the gay market. St. Maarten has always had a large gay following, though the only gay-owned B&B I'm aware of there has now closed. Mockingbird Hill in Port Antonio, Jamaica, is very gay-friendly (as are many of the high-end resorts there). Saba is exceptionally gay-friendly, though it has no beach (it's primarily a dive destination). Several hotels in Nevis, Antigua, and St. Kitts are gay-owned, so I can't imagine a gay couple wouldn't feel comfortable at one of those hotels.

The Caribbean is generally a very conservative and religious place, so a certain amount of discretion is expected wherever you go. A public display of affection by a man/woman couple would be frowned upon, though the reaction wouldn't be as negative as that for a same-sex couple.

My partner and I (lesbian) were on St. Vincent and on Bequia - we had no problems at all. We were respectful of the culture, knowing that PDA even with straight couples is not appreciated. It is obvious that we are together - not by public affection, but by the way we look at each other, or speak to each other. The hotel staff was always friendly, restauarants were wonderful and there really was not a place that we felt uncomfortable. The only time that a gay or lesbian couple receives that total amount of comfort, to have PDA, is in a gay resort or cruise - that is just a fact of life. It is not just for our safety, but also for the respect of the comfort of the culture where we are visiting.

ej - do you perhaps live near Northhampton?

There was an article in the Globe a couple of years back recommending it as a good 'weekend getaway'

Any thoughts?

alya, I do in fact live near Northampton. About 10 minutes away to the north. It's a great little town with more good dining per capita than anyplace else I've ever visited.

If you ever come out for a weekend, let me know and I can buy you a Red Stripe or something suitable and swap Caribbean stories!

Again Doug has identified things very well. A fundamental difference between a tourist and a traveller is the latter is more cognisant of their surroundings and the local culture.

To put this in simple terms, when we say "no shoes, no shirt, no service", it is a jovial way of saying something that Caribbean people feel strongly about.

I'm no longer amazed at it, but every day when cruise ships are in there are tourists who think that they can wander around downtown and into shops wearing only their swimsuit.

Ok, so most if not all Fodorites would never think of doing that (let alone wearing a thong, a no-no for sure ), but how many ladies may be guilt of figuring "oh, it's ok as long as I wrap a sarong around me".

Nope, that's not ok either.

Did someone say Caribbean people are conservative ? Yes, they are, so respect that and everything will be fine.

Please note I'm not getting into the right or wrong, just the reality of the culture.

For the Europeans here, I bet the first time you came to a North American influenced warm weather spot you were amazed that Americans don't go in for being topless, whereas when I grew up in Europe it was the norm on the beach.... again, different cultures.

ej

I would love that! I wonder if we could persuade Marion to come along?

On TTG we are arranging a small (10 if we're lucky )meeting in Ashland on Sept. 30th. If you could come along I'd love to meet you in person. I'm hoping to meet a few people from Fodors. It's funny but there is one poster here on Fodors who lives less than 5 miles from me - we have swapped emails but have yet to meet. Dang, I hate it when 'real life' gets in the way

If you are in my neck of the woods, 495 junction 17, please come by and visit the "purple house with a turret" that we have just bought.

If you can access Flicker - I have posted pictures here in another post. Wish me luck

"whereas when I grew up in Europe it was the norm on the beach.... again, different cultures."

Some Americans think toplessness is compulsory on St Barts

alya, I think a GTG of Fodor's Yanks (both natural born and transplanted) would be great!

What is TTG, and where is Ashland? Sounds fun!

ej

TTG is "Travelers To GO" a website created by a regular poster here on Fodors.

Lots of posters post here (although usually on the European Forum) and TTG.

Ashland is near Worcester and Framingham, not far from the Pike although looking at a map it would be a trek for you

It looks like there will only be 4 of us, funnily enough one lives in my town - one of the top 10 towns in the USA to raise a child, as voted by Family Circle

alas, I work on Sundays now and cannot attent the GTG. The next time there's one on Saturday, would you let me know? I'd love to come!