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Unwed mother returning to the Philippines with our grandson

Unwed mother returning to the Philippines with our grandson

Old Jan 24th, 2011, 12:49 PM
  #1  
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Unwed mother returning to the Philippines with our grandson

Our son has a child with a Filipina. They are not married and legal custody has not been established. She has physical custody and has stated she intends to return to the Philippines. She is a Philippne national with a Philipine passport. Our grandson was conceived and born in the USA. It is our understanding she intends to permanently relocate in the Philippines,,,. What can we do to keep her from traveling with our grandson and denying our son reasonable access. I am not thrilled with this relationship, but it would break my son's heat to have his son taken away from him.
mrbill451 is offline  
Old Jan 24th, 2011, 03:20 PM
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I don't know why you are posting here, but YOU, as a putative grandparent, can't do much of anything. If you son wants access to the boy, he needs to see an attorney to see what, if any, rights he has.
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Old Jan 24th, 2011, 06:13 PM
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So sorry to hear that you have a difficult and emotional situation like this but as longhorn55 said above this is not a very good place to put a post like this because most of us would have no idea of the legal ramifications. If the US had similiar laws as Australia your son would be able to apply for the mother to remain in the country the child was born in so that access by both parents would be controlled. But I think in all cases all countries have their own rules and regulations and you need, or rather your son needs, legal representation. Good luck to you all.
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Old Jan 25th, 2011, 08:30 AM
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I, too am sorry for your situation. Unfortunately this is something we do hear of from time to time, and it sounds like a very complicated legal and emotional issue. The best advice is what's already been mentioned, and that is to find an attorney that specializes in international child custody issues.

But I have to say, that other than the fact that you mention the mother wanting to "travel" back to her homeland, I'm not quite sure why you would register on the forum of a travel website for the first time for the purpose of getting such specific legal advice.

In any event, I wish you and son the best under these trying circumstances.
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Old Jan 25th, 2011, 08:49 AM
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As others have said, this is far too complicated an issue for our usually quite savvy Lounge advice.

The best thing your son can do is get an attorney who specializes in such matter and figure out what his legal rights/responsibilities are and go from there. No doubt it will be expensive and most likely ugly.
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Old Jan 25th, 2011, 09:01 AM
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He needs to establish paternity if he has not already done so. Then he needs a custody agreement. That may result in child support required of him if it has not yet been ordered. With a custody agreement she would likely not be able to leave the country with the child without his prior written approval. I'd make sure he has a lawyer to help him with this pronto or he should be prepared for some upcoming heartbreak.
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Old Jan 25th, 2011, 09:25 AM
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As others have said, this is a job for an attorney. Good luck!
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Old Jan 25th, 2011, 09:25 AM
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Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I suspect MrBill is a regular who set up a new ID to ask a question about a personal matter and is looking for experience people have had with a similar issue.

If this matter is already before the courts to establish primary custody and child support, I should hope they are already getting legal advice.
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Old Jan 25th, 2011, 09:49 AM
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I am very sorry for your distress and that of your son.

You cannot do much yourself; your son needs an attorney to see what legal rights he has.

Sadly these matters are emotional and complicated. I would be beside myself if this were happening to us. That said, if she already has physical custody, she probably has the legal right to return to her home country. Again, your son needs an attorney.

Good luck.
socaltraveler is offline  
Old Jan 25th, 2011, 10:00 AM
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I am certainly not an attorney so needless to say I am not able to give any legal advice but I have a couple of thoughts.

Since this grandchild was born in the US wouldn't that mean he is a US citizen. I sure think so. And I understand when a parent of a minor tries to board a flight that is going outside of the US I thought the airline insist on a letter by the other parent, duly notorzied, that the nontraveling parent gives permission for their child to be removed from the US. Perhaps that is not the case if the traveling parent is a citizen of a country other than the US however.

In any case the father certainly needs to hire a good attorney that specializes in this type of legal problem.
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Old Jan 25th, 2011, 10:02 AM
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ira
 
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Hi Mrbill,

A: My sympathies for a sorry situation.

G: > it would break my son's heat to have his son taken away from him. <

Has he considered marrying his son's mother?

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Old Jan 25th, 2011, 10:04 AM
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You should start by googling the term "international custody rights". There's lots of information, including what "kind" of attorney to look for and how to find one. I'm afraid that without a custody order, the mother could just leave now, and then your son would have to fight her in a Philippines court. Act quickly -- maybe an attorney can obtain a court order preventing her from leaving the US with the child while custody is worked out.
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Old Jan 25th, 2011, 10:07 AM
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As a US citizen, the child would need a passport to travel outside the US - and a young child is not able to get a passport without permission of both parents. This has to do with where the child was born - the country of conception is not of relevance to anything.
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Old Jan 25th, 2011, 10:14 AM
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You say legal custody has not been established - but has paternity been established? Without a paternity test proving he is the father your son has no standing - unless she names him on the birth certificate. And perhaps not even then.

If he wants to claim and support the child he needs to get into court right away to establishhis rights. then she can;t leave. You can check with an attorney, but I'm not aware of grandparent rights if the parent doesn;t exercise his.
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Old Jan 25th, 2011, 10:14 AM
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The country of conception is not relevant, but the citizenship of the mother is likely relevant.
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Old Jan 25th, 2011, 10:19 AM
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Again, get a lawyer.

But you need to think about how you are actually looking at this situation - unwed mother, "our" grandson, phrasing.

Is your son on the birth certificate as the child's father? If not, the mother can get a US passport for the child, with a court order, without permission of the father. This was the situation with a relative. Yes, she will need a passport for the child, but she can get one without your son's signature, depends on mitigating factors.
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Old Jan 25th, 2011, 10:25 AM
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Ira wrote:
>

Perhaps it is she who does not wish to be wed, Ira.

BC
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Old Jan 25th, 2011, 10:41 AM
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Two sides to every story, you have to look at the mother's side as well, and understand that she must do what she thinks will be best for the child.

If your daughter was over in the Phillipines, and had a baby, then wanted to come back to the USA, what would you advise her to do?

Do not make this about he vs. she or it will never end.....sit them both down and make a decision for the child.
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Old Jan 25th, 2011, 10:44 AM
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clarkgriswold, very good advice.
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Old Jan 25th, 2011, 10:52 AM
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I think your son has legal rights to establish paternity through paternity test, and have full rights (AND RESPONSIBILITIES) as a parent, doesn't matter married or not.

Only attorney can advise, for example, if your son is and adult, and when the child was concieved the mother was under the age on consent - he may go to jail!

So consult an attorney, probably a family attorney, or is there a parental rights attorney? Maybe one letter from the attorney, and the mother will agree to stay in the country not to lose her custody rights?

I also know there is some form in the US passport office that a parent can fill out so a passport will not be issued to a child, and the child will not be taken out of the country.

Also, do you know if she is here legally? If not, she can be deported. With or without the child, I don't know. Talk to the attorney.
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