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Life not going my way.. was thinking of traveling for a year..


Jan 25th, 2016, 03:47 PM
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Life not going my way.. was thinking of traveling for a year..

Hi guys,

I had a rough 2015. Very rough. I may loose my job in the coming weeks too. I have a house and a new car. I was thinking of selling everything I had and travelling to those countries :

- Thailand, Indonesia, Vietnam, Cambodgia, Laos and Philipinnes.

I was thinking around 6 months to a year. Will come back after, find a new job and start over. I REALLY need change in my life. I am in a depression right now and the last time I was really happy was when I was in Asia last time (Japan and Korea). I miss the random meeting with strangers.. the adventures!

I evaluated about 50$ a day living in those countries? In hostels for sure.

Let me know what you are thinking about my plan!

Ronin1138 is offline  
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Jan 25th, 2016, 03:58 PM
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I think it's a great plan. $50 a day is plenty and you won't have to stay in hostels. I think about doing it myself, regularly, and I don't even have a job to lose.
MmePerdu is online now  
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Jan 25th, 2016, 05:32 PM
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Hey Ronin there are a few of us out here in your predicament and sometimes getting out there, challenging the senses is a good thing to do so I encourage you to do the best thing for yourself, happy trails
Rainwoman is offline  
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Jan 25th, 2016, 05:56 PM
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Many times the biggest regrets we have are for the chances we didn't take, not the ones we did.

I hope you have a wonderful adventure!
scdreamer is offline  
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Jan 25th, 2016, 11:03 PM
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Hi Ronin. I'm going to chime in here. In Cambodia right now, after several weeks in Laos. Have spent at least a month each in Thailand and Vietnam as well as Myanmar, which you didn't list but I recommend although it might be a bit more pricey.

For a variety of reasons, since I do adventure travel, am a journalist, author, speaker and whole lot of other things, I want to play Devil's Advocate for a sec here.

First, when you get home, there you are man. Same stuff. Less money. You'll have some great stories and memories, sure. But do consider what needs to happen when your carcass lands again, because a slightly different you will still have to deal with reality, and travel ain't reality. Since I travel four times a year for a month, this reality turns on and off many times a year. I'm used to it. As an entrepreneur, when I travel, I'm not marketing or making money. You won't be either. So while escaping sounds very cool after a bad year, having a landing plan in place. Just a thought.

Second. How could you possibly turn your travels into something marketable? Can you blog or write? Who might your audience be? You're not the only one out there who feels the way you do. There's a story here. We like to think we're the only ones....but you already found out you're not. So, think of it this way. You apparently can take some time off. Others would love to. How can you make this the most mind bending, extraordinary life changing trip, and let others take part in it, in such a way that you can turn it into something when you come home? In other words, not make it all about you, but all about something others can experienc along with you, be inspired by you, and get excited about possibly doing something similar (but maybe not so epic)? I dunno. Just thinking out loud. The Universe tends to get behind use when we stop being all about me, and start thinking about how I can make this useful to a lot of other folks?

Third, if you did do that, spend a little time interviewing your peeps. Ask them what their wildest wishes would be if they could go to these places. Then do some serious research. See if you could also plan to do some of those things. For example (and this is where some coin comes in) I trained to be an elephant mahout in Laos, did the Gibbon Experience in Houiesay in Laos, and all kinds of things like that which are very adventurous. Keep in mind I'm a 63 year old chick, too, but then I climbed Kilimanjaro at 60. So if you can pull this off, find the epic things to do and do them in each country. I mean, you're going to be here, so come ON man. What are you going to do, find the local bars and get drunk feeling sorry for your bad year? This is about reframing your life, pushing your boundaries, and finding out who you are. Just sayin.

Fourth, while over here, you might want to learn some new sports. If you don't scuba, learn. Don't horseback ride? Learn. Skydive, paraglide, etc? Learn. I do all these things and they are much cheaper over here than in the USA. No liability insurance. Hey man, that's why I do my adventure sports overseas, tired of the damned lawyers. You want to rewrite your life, and how you think about yourself? Take on some new challenges and push your boundaries. Find out what courage looks like in you. Just sayin.

And keep a very detailed journal. Bring paper and a pencil. As a long time journalist I guarantee you that you will find yourself without wifi, without power, without a working pen. And you'll be dying to write something down. Never travel without a pencil, sharpener and a journal. Mark my words. I've been in Africa too many times and mad as hell I forgot, and my pen ran out of ink.

Those are my suggestions. The moment you make this an adventure of the heart and spirit AND NOT AN ESCAPE this will completely change complexion. Get over yourself already. 2015 is OVER. Grab this opportunity and make it into the first (you'll do it again) huge adventure that you took that wasn't just for you- but for a whole lotta people who are going to enjoy it along with you.

Think about it. It's a wondrous thing to be debt free and absorbing life. These are just ideas.

Best of luck to you!
jhubbel is offline  
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Jan 26th, 2016, 09:22 AM
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You might look into spending some time teaching English, if you have any interest/aptitude for that. It would give you more genuine connections with people.
If you think meditation might help your depression, here's a place in Myanmar (I haven't been there and I'm not a meditator myself, so this is just info), and there are probably others all over SE Asia
If your state of mind is situational, a trip might be wonderful for you. If your depression is more fundamental, you'll take it on the road with you. Nostalgia for places where you were happy is often nostalgia for a former stage of life - and we're none of us getting those back. That is absolutely not meant to be discouraging, just a reality check. Also, I agree with jhubbel that you should put some thought into easing your return.
Best of luck to you! I hope you have a wonderful time and a new start.
Lisa58 is offline  
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Jan 26th, 2016, 02:48 PM
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If you do this, you might consider renting your house rather than selling it. It doesn't take much to get a car, but getting enough money together for housing can be stressful, especially if the cost of housing goes up dramatically between the time you sell and when you come back. Do have a (very) good friend or a property manager take care of it, so you don't have any issues while traveling.

Of course , if you have no attachment to your house or rents will not allow you to manage it financially, this might not be a consideration. As a Realtor, I can't count how many times clients have sold their home, moved away, then returned to be priced out of the housing market.
lcuy is offline  
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Jan 26th, 2016, 06:51 PM
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Some very good advice above. In 1997 I did something similar and moved to Italy for 2.5 years. Quit the job, sold the car, and rented out the house to two close friends (glad I did, I lived it for 4 more years after I got back). I got part time work teaching English at three different language schools with no prior experience, although I did a 5 week CELTA (Certificate of English Language Teaching to Adults) course when I got there, which was recognized at all 3 schools. The income paid all my expenses, so I only needed to dip into savings for travel. I look back on that time as some of the best experiences of my life. It wasn't always easy, and it wasn't always great, but I still dream of the day when I do it again after retirement, at least for a few months each year. If you decide to go for it, go in with your eyes open that there will be ups and downs, and know that it won't always be easy, but it will be an adventure.
russ_in_LA is online now  
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Jan 28th, 2016, 12:23 AM
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"Let me know what you are thinking about my plan"

I am thinking you have not really thought this through!

" I am in a depression right now" . If this really is the case, then you need to go and see your doctor and get a proper diagnosis. Depression is a serious illness that is only likely to get worse without some form of treatment. Just because you were happy in Asia last time, doesn't mean you will be this time. Our problems tend to follow us wherever we are.

Financially, the real cost of travel is not just about the $50 a day for accommodation and food etc. ( which is fine btw) It is also about the loss of income and financial security, the lack of job prospects and career opportunities. If you are about to lose your job then it is arguably better to start looking for another now rather than waiting until you have actually lost it.

If you do decide to go travelling then consider a structured approach to longer term volunteer work somewhere which, in addition to helping those less fortunate than you, will also look very god on your cv upon your return and may actually help you to feel more positive. The suggestion by russ above, of obtaining a CELTA qualification is an excellent idea

In essence, I think jhubbel has summed it up very well when she says "when you get home, there you are man. Same stuff. Less money. "
crellston is online now  
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Jan 28th, 2016, 08:44 AM
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As a practical matter, be aware that you need a different kind of visa for most countries if you are really going to do volunteer work. And remember that being an English-speaker doesn't qualify you to teach English. If you re interested in teaching English, get certified before you go.

Right now, your plan sounds like an escape. While that may well be all you are thinking about right now, you do need to think about re-entry. Also, if you have clinical depression you do need treatment. It isn't clear to me if you are depressed or if you are just unhappy in your current situation. You are looking for what we call "a geographical cure" - the idea that being somewhere else will make everything better. That rarely works.

I wish you good luck with making a life change. I hope you will pause and plan your transition before you go.
Kathie is offline  
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Jan 29th, 2016, 06:49 PM
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A friend of mine had a similar life-changing experience back in 1999. She had been working a very solid career for quite some years when her record company was bought out and everyone was suddenly laid off. She had just bought a condo, which was her first property purchase, and then ended up with no job. On top of that her mother suddenly died right after she had bought her around-the-world tickets. It was a real mess of a situation.

The other, laid-off employees were in a panic and went searching for new employment. She decided to try to make lemonade out of lemons and not totally panic. Plus, she figured that if she didn't take off then, then when would she do it if she were to find a new job right away and have no vacation time and be back in a non-stop, work grind?

My friend decided to buy around-the-world tickets, from the San Francisco company that specialized in them, and took off for some months. She always had rainy-day savings. She kept her condo though so that she had a roof over her head to comeback to and a future investment. Plus, now the condo is worth a fortune as prices don't sink much in L.A. But, she traveled, got some real relaxation, cleared her mind, got out of her slump, and then came home.

When she got home, she looked for another job and got one, but not in her field. But, it paid the bills while moving on to Plan C. Months later, a friend of ours suggested for her to get into our profession, so she hustled, went back to school and took some classes, got into a totally new profession, and has been happy ever since.

An acquaintance whom I met any years ago, and who was a lawyer did something similar prior to 1999. She closed her law practice, leased out her house, and took off for a year around the world, and then wrote a book about it. She bought an around-the-world ticket from the same San Francisco company that was around for decades. If you can get a copy of her book, "Go Girl", it might be inspirational.

Sometimes one just needs to break away from the routine in order to clear ones mind. But,if one is in a serious depression, then that's not going to help, long term, and then one needs to get to the root of the depression professionally.

Once I met a woman in Rome, staying at my hotel. She had just gone through a big, ugly divorce and had moved out of her big house in The Palisades (L.A.). She had been married for decades when her husband up and left. So, they sold the house, she took her half of the money and asked for the houseboat in Marina Del Rey and lived on the houseboat. She then bought a round-the-world ticket and left for a year to clear her mind.

There was also a young woman in Istanbul, whom I met at my hotel, who worked for a big, high-powered Chicago law firm and was stressed out to the max. She asked for a year off and was lucky to be granted it. She also bought an around-the-world ticket and took off for a year. When, I met her, she had been gone for some months and spur-of-the-momently was looking for a ticket to Madagascar. I mentioned that that had been one of the countries that the record-company friend had also taken off to. The woman, in Istanbul, and I hung out for an entire day and she had some interesting stories about her profession and personal life.

So, if it's a regular in-the-slump type of situation, then a change can be beneficial. But, if it's a clinical depression situation, then it needs to be treated. All of the above women were in a slump and the change did them well. But, they also had roofs-over-their-heads to come back to.

Happy Travels!
Guenmai is offline  
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Jan 30th, 2016, 06:30 AM
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Mate, i can relate to your story somewhat.
Ive split with the girl i was the most deeply in love with. She is like no other in my 41 years. My heart break so intense that its been a struggle to even go on. But I refuse to give in. Yadda yadda blah blah

So anyway now ill get to the point. I need some huge changes in my life and i considered selling up my house and car and all my worldly goods and travel. But, and like said before me, what do you do when its over and you have to return to reality?

So what im doing is.......selling off a few unnecessary possessions and going on multiple shorter trips. As much leave as i can muster every 6 months.
But due to the need to break my depressed mood im going to siem reap for 7 days in march. Its the soonest i could take leave. And i have been able to secure 5 weeks leave in may/june. Then ill soend that time in nth vietnam.

My plan and reasoning is tied in with some Buddhist philosophy that is used in western counciling as well. Part of mindfulness.
You cant change the passed nor can you predict the future. Al you can do is livein the moment.
The dalai lama says this along the lines of.....there are only 2 days you cant do anything. Yesterday and tomorrow....
The only thing we have control of is the very moment we are in.

So, my idea is to turn up in a country where the culture is so different to any others ive experienced, with a limited budget, staying in shared dorms and on my own. So finding that i am forced to be in the moment. No time to dwell on my passed or angst on my future.
I feel that if i can do this in regular intervals i can have an emotional holiday as well as one that is obviously physical, and still maintain contact with reality.

I have been researching my destinations etc and have some ideas on what im going to do. This will include lots of eating and im a night or two of partying. But ill be mindfull to not cave onto excess whilst in a healing time.

Good luck to you brother on however you choose to go on with your life. I may catch you on one of my trips.✌��
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