annelouise

We will be going for dinner at someone's home in Fukuoka and in Onomichi. Is there anything that we should know re gift giving ( timing during the evening ), assisting with dinner and clean-up, and anything else that will assist us to help our hosts and ourselves feel comfortable? They have already written to us and asked us if there is anything that we would not eat. As we will be in Fukuoka first, I imagine that the dinner there will be more of a unique experience. By the time we arrive in Onomichi, we will be much more familiar with the proper etiquette. I'm getting excited as we are counting down the hours until we leave.

KimJapan

You should give your gift when you arrive at the house. Gifts that we receive from Japanese people when they have dinner at our house include nice wine, dessert from a good cake shop, chocolates from a department store shop. All are always nicely wrapped (by the store, with store's identifying label and bag). Since you are traveling, and omiyage (souvenir) from the place you just came from is very appropriate...sweets and various food items are the best choice for omiyage.

Assistance...it's polite to offer, and your offer will likely be refused. You will be expected to relax and enjoy, the wife will take care of everything, and may not even join you for the meal because she is busy making each course as the night progresses. That is quite normal.

annelouise

Thank you so much.

Shanghainese

Kim is right, and don't wander into the kitchen unless invited.

miya

If your home is outside of Japan & there's space in your suitcase, a small souvenior from home country will be nice. That's right, don't feel guilty for not doing the dishes. Just relax and enjoy.