Well, we didn't make it to Japan this year but hoping to make a trip in late April, '03 with our two kids (boy aged 14 and girl 12. My research still leaves me with a few questions about accomodations in ryokans and about bathing. (Itinerary will approx 11 days to include Tokyo, Kyoto, Nara, Himeji, possibly also Hakone, or Nikko or Takayama. <BR><BR>In hopes of a very traditional Japanese experience we would like to stay mostly in ryokans. Also, we understand this could make more economic sense for a family than booking two western style double rooms. However, my son is a very picky eater, though there are many items in Japanese restaurants he will eat. <BR><BR>1) Can we book most ryokan without including the elaborate dinner? I just do not want to pay the high price for a large meal he won't eat. <BR><BR>2) Are there issues with soundproofing the guest rooms? (Paper thin walls?) My kids can behave but I worry about them making noise that might disturb others.<BR><BR>3) We cannot handle the idea of shared baths with strangers - parents OK but don't really want our kids to deal with this. I see there are some 'family baths' in ryokan, but our kids are too old to share this with us and each other. Can such a bath be used one person at a time? <BR><BR>Thank you so much for any information of help.<BR>

Bonjour Leslie,<BR><BR>I don't know what kind of ryokans you plan to stay in (I have very limited experience with expensive ones), but most smaller ryokans used to cater to Westerners are used to reservations withouth meals.<BR><BR>Japanese teenagers are as noisy as the others. Wait until you meet a party of them on a shool outing (just hearing them scrape their feet in a temple alley is an experience in noise ...), and you'll realise you really didn't need worry about your kids ;-)<BR><BR>Again, I don't know for high end ryokans, but you can usually use the common bathing facilities on an individual basis.

The ryokans (a budget one in Tokyo and 2 very expensive ones in Kyoto) I've stayed in have private baths in the rooms, in addition to the public baths.<BR>I believe this is the norm; so you don't really have to use the public bath.

1. Most ryokan charge by the number of persons rather than per room, so it may not be less expensive than western style hotels.<BR><BR>2. At better ryokans outside of the big cities, the charge usually include dinner and breakfast, but some may allow booking of room only. You will be missing one of the best parts of the ryokan experience though.<BR><BR>3. Many of the older establishments will not have private baths; others may have them in premium rooms only. Some allow the private use of the common bath or have a family bath (kazukuburo) for the family that wants to bathe together.<BR><BR>4. Check for ryokan which are members of the Japanese Inn Group. While these are not the top class ryokan, they are foreigner friendly, and publish an english language brochure detailing the features of each member ryokan. Most of them do have rooms available without meals, and they also explain the bathroom situation. Check www.jnto.go.jp for details.<BR>

1. Meal will not be large. Large meal is an American concept. But what you mean are the meals of any size he won't eat, right? The smaller Ryokan was less frexible in this regard. The breakfast had some options, while dinners were less so.<BR><BR>2. Sound. It might work the other way also. Japanese businessmen on business trip can have a feast next door to you till late at night. At really traditional one, there is almost no sound proofing. The ceilings are even shared above the partitions.<BR><BR>3. We stayed in Ryokans with and without en suite bathroom. I think the Ryokan where the hot spring is a selling point seem to have common bathroom. The locals go there for that reason. All the Ryokan we stayed with common bathroom were separated by sexes, either two different baths or same but at different times. <BR><BR>We tended to be the first to be in the bath and there were hardly anyone else. You can ask the Ryokan if all they got is a public bathroom when is a good time to have a defacto private time. Public bath in Japan is like topless beaches in Europe, it is no big deal.<BR><BR>Just so you won't freak out, a caretaker of a public bath, ones who goes around picking up tubs, towels, etc, people left carelessly in male bath can be a lady. The guys in bath don't pay any attention to her, she does not pay attention to the men either. That's the way it goes.

Actually the dinners served in ryokan are usually quite large but the portions sizes are small. Most times they'll be a dozen or so small dishes and bowls of different types of food. But aside from the obligatory tempura and miso soup, most of the items won't be what you usually find in the restaurants with the plastic food displays outside. Ryokan in resort areas especially take pride in serving local delicacies.

Thanks to all who replied with such helpful info. No, we cannot afford the very fancy ryokan - I know two double western rooms would be cheaper than those. I think I'll just have to start making specific inquiries and see what can be arranged as far a dining and baths. The Japanese Inn Group sounds great. Something along the lines of the Ryokan Shigetsu in Asakusa sounds like it would work for us. We will probably end up with a variety of accomodations and perhaps give a try at one major dinner in a ryokan, even if my son will only eat the miso soup and rice! Who knows, he's teaching himself Japanese, so maybe by next spring he will be a more adventurous eater. Still can't envision him in a bath with a bunch of Japanese men, though, anymore than I'm likely to go topless on the Riviera!<BR><BR>I'm hoping we can even arrange a night or two visiting a Japanese family. I found one travel agency in LA that offers to arrange this. Any other links for family homestays would also be of interest.

Bonjour Leslie,<BR><BR>JNTO runs a "home visit system" in a number of cities (mainly Tokyo and Kyoto), they will help you set something up for no charge. Look it up at www.jnto.go.jp<BR><BR><BR><BR>Your son might be interested in the Nihongo Journal, a monthly publication devoted to self students of Japanese (http://www.alc.co.jp/nihongoji/nj/nj01.html) <BR>and in this site full of reference on studying the language<BR>http://www.nihongo.org/english/language/education/<BR><BR>Have him take a look at http://www.bento.com/tf-recp.html for an overview of the food he'll encounter in Japan.

Leslie, <BR><BR>Sorry, I checked the link to Nihongo Journal and it doesn't work (or only in Japanese). However, the magazine is great for self study and can be found in most Japanese bookstores.<BR><BR>As an apology, here's one link that does and that should appeal to your son: ww.mangajin.com<BR><BR>A number of my friends have taught themselves enough Japanese to be fluent on their first trip through reading manga (comics), so don't be harsh on your son if he favors that kind of litterature ;-)

Florence, thank you kindly for this great information. I will surely give this to my son. I'm trying to learn some Japanese, too. Most of what we know is from recent viewing of the entire 4 video tapes of Shogun!<BR><BR>I did see the home visit information on the JNTO website some months ago, but they seem to have redesigned their site and don't see it now. I recall that these are just brief visits, not overnight stays. I was hoping to arrange the latter thinking this would be a little less formal and allow more fun interaction with the family. I had first learned about this on the www.about.com travel section on Japan but that link to homestay info doesn't work, presumedly because it linked to he old webpage at JNTO.

Leslie,<BR><BR>don't rely too much on Shogun, or any samurai movie for that matter, for learning contemporary Japanese ;-) <BR><BR>Here's the link to the home visit system http://www.jnto.go.jp/eng/SIT/categories/011_home/exp.html<BR><BR>You might check what else there is with JNTO through their local office nearest you. Also, your children's school might have some link with a Japanese school and something might be arranged this way. Just my 0,02 ...

Leslie, my family will be taking a two week trip to Japan this month. While this is not a direct response to your concerns, my children are similar in age (daughter 15, son 13) to yours and some of the same questions have come up. My wife and I have emphasized that the value of this vacation is not in photos or souveniers, but in the experiences that cannot be had any other way. Japan is so very different from the United States in some obvious and in some very subtle and wonderful ways. It is the experiencing and appreciation of those subtleties that make travel to Japan remarkable. While bathing in a public bath may seem embarrassing when one thinks about it from home, or if eating dried fish, rice and seaweed for breakfast seems odd, in fact those things feel most natural and comfortable in Japan where no one else gives them a second thought. I encourage your children to try as many new and different things as they can. Strike out on walks through non touristed neighborhoods. Get lost. Ask for directions. Try to speak Japanese. Your children may be more adventurous once they are in Japan than they could possibly imagine from home. Just think of the stories they can tell their classmates when they return! Best of luck. John

John's comment about speaking Japanese help me recall something. The older folks, as in many countries, don't speak much English. The highschool, college type like to try out their English, they come up with creative reason to talk to you such as asking you for a change. While in Europe, this might be construed as trying to find where you keep money to pickpocket, it was not so in Japan with teenagers. This is not to say that pickpockets don't exist Japan, however.

Thank you all for these inspiring thoughts. I got our flights reserved today, so will post separately with a tentative itinerary to solicit opinions on that. Thanks, again.