Tansy

My husband and I live in the Pacific NW, but none of our relatives live here. We have parents in Virginia, California, and Tennessee. Siblings in California (different cities) and North Carolina. Other relatives in Vermont, Georgia, and Rhode Island.
It is a constant scheduling effort to try and see everyone on a semi-regular basis -- we also need to set aside time for our OWN trips as a couple, because we love going to new places.
We've talked about trying to convert to a system where we choose one place where everyone can MEET each year; perhaps the home base of a different relative each year, or a brand new spot that no one has visited before. Of course this raises many questions and possible problems -- logistics, money, ex-husbands and wives, that sort of thing. Would love to hear from anyone who does this type of thing -- does it work?
I don't see how we can keep flying all over the country each year, especially when/if we have kids.

GoTravel

Yes, it does work Tansy. Logistically, it can be a nightmare from a location standpoint and custody issues but with a lot of effort it is fun and worth the work.

I coordinated a family trip last summer to NYC for 32 people and we had a lot of fun. Some drove in, some took the train, and some flew.

It was a destination that everyone wanted to visit young and old.

This year we are thinking about Vegas.

jenifer

My husband's mother's family does this regularly, every few years.

If you're not sure about it, try it once and see what happens. You don't have to commit to annual trips like this yet.

Also, there will be some people each year (different people each year, hopefully) who cannot make the trip due to personal reasons. Learn to accept this, rather than trying to accomodate everyone, which in general cannot be done for a large group. Consider the time frame that will generally suit the most people, and pick a location that will be fun for the people involved, and plan from there.

Logistics aren't too bad - one person can be responsible for lodging (either coming up with one hotel and making reservations, or finding a few hotel choices and leaving it up to the individual family groups. Each family group is responsible for their own transportation to the vacation site, and their own transportation once there (rental cars, if necessary).

You can invite anyone you want, and not invite those you don't want. Ex's, etc. can be included or not, depending on the situation.

I'd suggest giving it a try once. We enjoy these family gatherings, and it gives us a chance to see more distant relatives that we probably wouldn't make the effort to travel to see otherwise.

cd

We have done this before by renting a large beach house. Some of them on the Outer Banks have 6 bedrooms. Once we rented two side by side. You would need one someone to organize it and the relatives that want to come would need to commit. We took those who said they would make the trip and devided the cost of the house by that number and that's what each person owed. Everyone helped buy groceries, helped cook and helped clean up. We have many memories as our parents and other relatives are no longer with us. We are glad we did it. Good luck with your decision.

swalter518

We've done this 2 of the last 4 years at WDW. It worked great. We had a few designated meeting times and a schedule of events of where the group would be during the day. However, all events were optional. That being said we almost always all met for dinner each night had a rotating group of a 10 people at all times (out of 17). As long as everyone understood the "rules" it was fine.

weenie57

We've done it several times in the Outer Banks and once we rented an entire Inn in the Adirondacks. Every time it was wonderful! Everybody can sort of do their own thing...all the kids have fun together. No one family feels the pressure to host. We even had some meals catered in O.B. You probably won't be able to do it EVERY year (the years go by so fast!). But every few years - it will be great!

mcqueeney449

You might consider a cruise. Easy top arrange and plenty of activities to suit all types. I've done a cruise with a large group of friends and it worked out great. We did our own thing during the day in smaller groups with similar interests but had dinner and did a lot of evening entertainment as a whole group. Everyone had fun and nobody had to be "in charge" of daily activities.

gail

To cd - I am extremely jealous that you were able to make this work - it says something positive about relationships in your family. We did this on a smaller scale at a house on Cape Cod - a total disaster, since various family members had very different ideas of the informal "rules". There was certainly no sharing of costs and cooking and cleaning.

What has worked is for it to be in a setting where everyone is responsible for their own expenses and does not have to share work with anyone (like a hotel). We have done this with a smaller family group at WDW - it was great fun. Would also think a cruise might work.

To original poster - once we had kids (the first one 17 years ago), we got much firmer about not traveling all over the countryside to meet expectations of others. Instead, we maintained an open-house policy, especially around holidays. Since we both have small families and are the only ones with kids on either side of the family, logistics were always easier for the kid-less siblings to travel to us.

Ryan

We did one to New Orleans a few years ago for 10 people. For the most part it worked and was a fun time for all. However, what didn't work on several nights were meals. The person who organized, didn't make plans for dinner reservations so every day became a discussion over type of food, price, location, "is it good", do they serve ....", or "I don't want that tonight" with no alternative mentioned. Of course with a large group, the debate wound up being a moot point a few times because of inability to get a last minute reservation for 10.

If we were to do it again, I'd probably take the lead with dinner and come up with a spot for each night and make a reservation. I'd tell everyone ahead of time our plan and let them decide to opt out.

Ani

We did this a year ago for my mom's 50th...took her to Vegas, and her brothers and their fams met us there. Granted, the scale was small (I think 18 people total), but it was a BLAST...and fairly easy to coordinate. I think it's a good idea to go somewhere where there are unlimited possibilities in terms of things to do. Vegas was perfect for that. We met up for dinner or lunch, but mainly everyone kind of did their own thing-called to see who wanted to go to breakfast, etc...but also had some family time all together. We really had a great time-it's just important to know what the expectations are, I guess. My fam is very independent and headstrong, and I knew they would want to do their own thing mostly. This would be rough if you had certain people who wanted to do family time the whole time. KWIM?

Wednesday

We did Vegas too for our parents 25th...I only saw most people at the actual party and one other dinner, the rest of the time a few of us hung out together so it was "nice to see everyone" but nobody had to be with everyone they didn't want to be with all the time, everyone explored at their pace. It was nice.

cd

Gail
Thank you for your kind words. However,nothing is ever perfect. On that vacation, I had a disagreement with my adult son and he took off storming the beach, he ran into his aunt who had just had a disagreement with his other aunt and the two of them huffed and puffed along the beach for hours! We laugh about it now, but it was not laughable then. I too think a cruise would work, the problem with that is sometimes the younger families cannot afford it.

Fodorite018

We have done this several times, although all the family is along the west coast so that makes it a tad easier. we rent a big house...Sunriver, Oregon is our favorite spot...but also at a beach. so far the way we have handedled it is the granparent pay for the house and the kids pay for the food. We do not go out to eat since it is easier and more fun to cook/grill. That way the grandchildren can still run and play. We dont schedule things to do...just sort of "hey anyone that wants to go to the pool be ready in an hour" type of thing. So far it has worked out well...there are always some family members that dont get along but we all learn to bite our tongues or try to stay away...or drink more Thanks for bringing up the subject...we need to start palnning for this summer and this was a good reminder.

Tansy

Wow, this is more encouraging than I expected! Our group would most likely never exceed 20 people, so that would probably help matters.