pirouette

I am hoping that Fodorites who are familiar with wedding traditions in this part of India will be able to offer some assistance. I posted on that "other " forum but I find that posts there often get lost amid the touts.

We are travelling to India next month for a family wedding . DH is of Indian origin but I am not. We have been to India together before, this will be my third trip and DH has been there many times. The wedding is for close family and we have stayed with them before. They are lovely, non pretentious people.

There will be a number of function related to the wedding. I have decided to mix things up and to wear western clothes for some and a sari for some of the others

Here is my dilemma : I have inherited many beautiful silk sarees from my dear MIL who recently passed away. She had excellent taste and there are many traditional heavy silks. I had intended to wear a traditional peacock blue silk with a red and gold border. I just had a saree blouse made locally ( no time to do so once we get to India) and it looks beautiful with the saree. The boutique owner draped me and the colours are gorgeous. I asked her what she thought of the look for the Kolkata wedding. She asked a few questions about the family 's social level and whether festivities would be in 5 star hotels etc. when I gave her the details she hesitated and then told me that my saree was something that a much older woman might wear .

I suppose that is no surprise given that it belonged to my MIL who was in her 80's . It reflects her elegant, traditional taste. The boutique owner (she is from Dehli) suggested a softer silk with more bling. She selected a saree in tones of hot pink and red with a khundan stone type border. She said it was more youthful and reflective of current wedding fashions. It is beautiful and I have purchased it after some very hard bargaining. There will also be khundan stones on the cap sleeve of the saree blouse (low back). I love the colours and the softer drape but my MIL 's aversion to bling keeps echoing in my mind.

The boutique owner suggested the traditional saree for the sangeet and the sparkle for the wedding. I do not want to look out of place at either event.. There is really no one here in Canada that I can ask. Dear SIL saw a photo of the new saree and she thinks it "rocks". But she does not have her late mother's traditional taste.

Does any one have any thoughts or experience with dress at what I expect will be a high end wedding in Kolkata ? I like the bling but there is also beauty in the tradition of a heavy silk. I can always take a couple of extra saree blouses and borrow something from DH's cousin , ( no time to shop), but I would rather wear something of my own. Any thoughts?

Jaya

Saree styles go in and out of fashion, and as you already noted, and vary based on age. Have your SIL put some sarees aside for you for the wedding events. They don't have to be new, just sarees that everyone hasn't seen before. Sort of a "wear and share" program. I do that when I visit India. Good sarees are also quite expensive and not a practical purchase if you don't need it more than once.

You can bring some of your vintage sarees and get the opinion of a few fashion-trustworthy people. Even beautiful sarees may get the thumbs down because they look too old for you or simply aren't in style right now. Borrowing sarees is quite common, especially for parties and dressy events - you just have to get the blouse part done.

Elainee

Very interesting! I never knew sarees went out of style. I saw a wedding at our hotel in Jaipur. The bride's side wore one color and the groom another.

Jaya

One general rule of thumb is brighter, more colorful saree designs are worn by younger women. More subtle, transitional designs are worn by older women.

Design elements as subtle as a thick boarder or a thin boarder along the edge of the sari may be the current trent.

If it doubt, tone it down. Although it's hard to be overdressed for a wedding you never want to look gaudy!

pirouette

Thanks for your input Jaya. SIL lives here in a Canada and even though of Indian heritage, would never wear a sari. She does appreciate fabric and colour but her taste is definitely edgy and western. I thought I would take some extra sari blouses: red, black and the sparkly one to match the sari I just bought. That way I can borrow if the one I have purchased is too garish. I love the traditional silks, but I really do not want took old before my time. I think I can carry the bling, but I will rely on DH's cousin in Kolkata to tell me if I have crossed the line of good taste.

kmkrnn

While I know nothing about saris, I will say we saw many weddings while visiting India last year. We were in a 4 or 5 star hotel Udaipur, and there were some fabulous weddings while we were there. The rule seemed to be the more bling the better. One of the weddings had over a thousand guest. We sat in the lobby just watching the fashion show.

Cicerone

My entirely subjective view is that it would be an honor to your MIL to wear her sarees, and I think your husband would appreciate it. As a non-Indian who has worn saree to weddings myself, the very fact that you are in a saree that will provoke conversation and appreciation; and when you tell them that you inherited them from your MIL, I think that will be appreciated even more. It will promote converstation on changes in style and will remind women of their own mothers. I think it is a great idea and would wear them in a heartbeat if I had access to them. The fact that the sarees are not blinged-up is not really important, IMO, as you are not Indian. You will stand out just in the saree, and that is enough.

You will undoubtedly see women at the wedding very blinged-up of course, and the jewelry will undoubtedly be stunning. But I don’t see it as your role to compete with either. Good quality and style is timeless. A Chanel suit from the 1940s is still a Chanel suit and never goes out of style, even though later iterations of it are different.