Here’s what you need to know about the South’s most “mannerly city.”
Over the span of her career, the author and authority on manners and all things etiquette, Marjabelle Young Stewart, wrote more than 20 books on the subject of social graces.
Earning the nickname “The Queen of Couth,” one of Stewarts’ biggest claims to fame was her annual list of the country’s most mannerly cities–Charleston, South Carolina, has always landed squarely in the number one spot.
“Charleston is the role model for the rest of the country,” Stewart once said. Deemed an “oasis of decent manners,” Southern hospitality is not only a way of life in Charleston but an ideal that visitors have come to love about the city.
“I think that’s what Charleston reflects to people; it’s a kinder way of life, a beautiful environment in one of the most mannerly, polite cities, and friendly cities,” owner and founder of The Charleston School of Protocol and Etiquette Cynthia Grosso told Fodor’s.
Following Stewart’s passing, Grosso took over the annual poll of most mannerly cities and says that Charleston reflects a certain idealism sewn into the fabric of the culture and community there.
“I would say Southern hospitality is a cultural trait that focuses on courtesy and social connection,” Grosso said. “It’s about making people feel comfortable as if you were inviting a guest into your home; it’s a welcoming demeanor kind of thing.”
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While there are no set rules to abide by, there’s an unspoken etiquette to the Holy City that visitors should know about, from uniquely southern sayings and mannerisms to exploring the city’s unmatched elegance, character, and charm.
Southern Sayings Run Deep
You might already be familiar with the saying “bless your heart” (typically not meant as a compliment, by the way); several formalities and mannerisms are so deeply engrained in Southern culture that it might be jarring for out-of-towners and first-time visitors.
“Southern mannerisms are a sign of respect,” Grosso explained. “They’re based on politeness, they’re based on hospitality, and they’re also based on a slower pace of conversation,’ she added.
In Charleston, where it’s still commonplace for people to refer to one another as “ma’am” and “sir,” it is a sign of mutual respect as much as anything else.
“Our heritage and history is steeped in Southern hospitality, in friendliness and warmth and kindness, and these mannerisms are just one of the ways we can impart that, both to each other and to our visitors,” added Grosso.
Embrace the ‘Slow-Country’ Lifestyle
The oldest and largest city in South Carolina, Charleston is beloved for its relaxed and inviting atmosphere. One of the most popular domestic destinations year after year, visitors should be prepared to embrace a slower pace to truly savor the experience.
“It’s hot in Charleston, and when it’s hot, people tend to move a little slower, and when you move a little slower, you have more time to say good morning, you have time to hold the door,” Grosso said. “And so that’s been our heritage and history, and that idea of slowing down is steeped in the southern hospitality, friendliness, warmth, and brightness you’ll find here.”
Soak in the Splendor of the City
From carriage tours and zipping around town in a pedicab to hopping on your hotel’s beach cruiser or joining one of the city’s wonderful walking tours, there’s no shortage of ways to take in the many charms of Charleston.
Antebellum architecture abounds; Grosso suggests going on a sunset harbor cruise to see Fort Sumter, which is famous for sounding the first shots of the Civil War, or joining a garden tour or ghost tour, depending on the season. Promoting its Black history has become an important focus for the city as well.
“The city is like a museum; you could just walk the streets and take it all in,” said Grosso. “Whatever you do, make sure you go downtown, South of Broad, and just walk. You don’t have to spend any money; just walk and take in all the beautiful sites.”
Enjoy a Great Meal
Eating and drinking are a significant part of the culture in Charleston, and the city is known for its wide variety of restaurants and cuisines. “We’re a city of four and five-star restaurants, so dining is huge for us,” Grosso said.
For some tried and true local favorites, Leon’s Oyster Shop is a great local spot to post up and enjoy some of the best friend chicken and oysters you’ve ever tasted, as is Basic Kitchen for a healthy and delicious lunch option and Xiao Bao Biscuit for the best Asian fusion and okonomiyaki in town.
“We’re a foodie city, so I would say definitely plan on enjoying food and spending money on going to a nice restaurant if you want to enjoy what Charleston has to offer. “Our peninsula is not big, but you will not get a bad meal because if you get a bad meal, they’re out of business,” Grosso added.
Stop for a Spot of Tea or a Glass of Champagne
Named after King Charles, Charleston has English and French influences. For an exceptional experience, Grosso recommends popping into The Charleston Place for a spot of tea while you’re in town.
“We love tea in Charleston; there are so many beautiful places for that,” Grosso said.
If you’re in the mood for bubbles, there are plenty of spots, starting with Camellia’s at Hotel Bennett.
“Etiquette is about grace and graciousness, and there’s no shortage of that in Charleston,” Grosso said. “We offer something different here; it’s in our blood and our culture. Sure, the weather is nice, the people are nice. The city is nice. And why does that matter? The most important thing that we as human beings need besides food and shelter is respect. And we have plenty of that in Charleston to go around.”