Don’t be that guy.
An Indonesian plane was grounded this week after passengers boarded the plane and immediately began complaining about a strange smell overtaking the aircraft and demanding something be done about it to the airline staff. That smell was ruminating up from the cargo hold of the Sriwijaya Air flight, where about two tons of durian were being stored.
Durian is a fruit grown from trees primarily located in parts of Asia that resembles a creamy paste more than it does an actual food, despite its being considered a fruit. It is also one of the most disgustingly scented foods in existence. A single durian can make a room smell like an actual skunk for a week. It has been described as smelling like gym socks, vomit, and sewage–and yet, somehow, still tastes good.
Durian is banned from many modes of transportation (and public spaces in general), but the airline was, apparently, within its rights to carry it in the cargo area, as the extremely stinky fruit was wrapped and stored accordingly to official regulations for transport. That, however, didn’t stop passengers from causing a scene. One passenger led a chant, exclaiming, “Who on this plane wants to fly?” with other passengers replying, “Not us!”
While durian is certainly the number one food you should never bring onto a flight (or any room ever, in general), there are certainly other foods you should think twice about before bringing with you while you fly–not out of regulation, but out of consideration for your fellow passengers (and, let’s face it–yourself). Respect yourself and others by not bringing the following snacks with you on your flight.
And, to be honest, absolutely any other kind of fish. Come on, do you really want to be the fish guy? Bringing fish products, in any form, onto an airplane is the equivalent of microwaving fish in an office kitchen–just don’t do it, man. Technically, you can, but also, technically, everyone hates you.
A hard-boiled egg is a good low carb protein option to hold you over for a long flight, and please for the love of God, consume the egg before boarding the plane. Because hard-boiled eggs also happen to stink like hell. As someone who has carried a bag of Trader Joe’s peeled hard-boiled eggs in her purse one time, I highly recommend leaving your egg product off the plane.
A Lot of Cheese
Not all cheeses smell, and certainly they make for a nice little snack, but please be careful when bringing soft cheeses onto a plane. If you don’t consume those bad boys promptly, they’ll either start smelling up the joint in no time, or you’ll straight up forget about them and then you’ll have to deal with a purse that smells like old cheese on your trip where you probably only brought one purse (speaking from experience here).
Man, come on. Did you really bring an onion, albeit a fried, tasty onion, on an airplane? Check yourself. Fried or not, it’s still an onion, the vegetable known for an aura that literally makes people cry. And sure, you’re not actually cutting onions on the plane, but you still brought a bag of them on there, and they still stink. Just wait ‘til you’re off the plane to order a side of onion rings at Burger King.
Look, this is vague. But have you ever tried to bring a floppy snack onto an airplane and then felt like a complete loon when attempting to consume it? This couldn’t just be me. I’m talking spaghetti, pastas with a lot of sauce, casseroles, pizza, a fat bean burrito–all of these things exude a prominent smell and are messy to eat, and you, my friend, only have a small amount of space to exist in currently. That burrito is going to spill beans out of it, and you don’t even have a plate–at most, you’ve got a wrapper, and hopefully, a bag. Also, you’ll get beans all over your hands, and they smell bad.
The scent of, say, broccoli isn’t terrible, but it can be quite pungent. Steam that pungent broccoli in hot water and you’ve got a smell that will weave itself into the air and climb inside every nose in the general vicinity. If you’re bringing a bowl of hot vegetables onto an airplane, okay, but for heaven’s sake, eat it immediately. Eat it immediately before the scent of hot broccoli or Brussel sprouts seeps into the wellbeing of those surrounding you.
This is a controversial opinion, I understand, as McDonald’s are ubiquitous to airports and it’s perfectly legal to bring a bag of hamburgers onto an airplane, if that’s your prerogative (as it has been mine, many a time). However, you are now that person, for however many hours you remain on that plane. You made this plane smell like McDonald’s. Not burgers–specifically McDonald’s. You’re strapped into a seat in a flying McDonald’s restaurant. Do you want that? Legitimately asking.
Leftovers From the Airport Grill or Steakhouse
Just be careful with this one. You probably ordered a cooked meat product, or something like it, and cooked meat in any form is smelly. Now your half-eaten hot meat is being transported in a little floppy styrofoam container, which certainly won’t hold the smell in. Plus, you just ate, so you’re probably not going to eat it right when you get on the plane, and so you’re choosing to just sit with it. Your leftovers are an unwanted airline guest without a boarding pass, and although you just saved money by not having to buy dinner later, your dinner is going to be a cold burger. And again, everyone is mad at you.