Worst bathroom experience?
May 17th, 2002, 06:47 PM
#81
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Here is one of my favorite bathroom experiences.
I planned this prank for days. I watched my boss (and friend) go into a stall. I sat in the stall next to him and started moaning and belching like I was violently ill. I then smeared a Chunky candy bar all over my hand and wrist.Then I spun the toilet paper dispenser like I was out of toilet paper.I knocked on the stall wall between us and said in a disguised voice "Yo,I need some of your toilet paper." I then put my chocolate bar covered arm under the stall to take his toilet paper, hitting his knee. He got up and started yelling, "Whoa whoa whoa, be cool, be cool." He then ran out of the stall with his pants around his ankles. Several of our friends were sitting by the sink laughing at him.
I still get quite a chuckle about that.
Feel free to use my idea, a guaranteed crowd pleaser.
I planned this prank for days. I watched my boss (and friend) go into a stall. I sat in the stall next to him and started moaning and belching like I was violently ill. I then smeared a Chunky candy bar all over my hand and wrist.Then I spun the toilet paper dispenser like I was out of toilet paper.I knocked on the stall wall between us and said in a disguised voice "Yo,I need some of your toilet paper." I then put my chocolate bar covered arm under the stall to take his toilet paper, hitting his knee. He got up and started yelling, "Whoa whoa whoa, be cool, be cool." He then ran out of the stall with his pants around his ankles. Several of our friends were sitting by the sink laughing at him.
I still get quite a chuckle about that.
Feel free to use my idea, a guaranteed crowd pleaser.
May 18th, 2002, 12:34 AM
#82
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This wasn't my worst bathroom experience--it was my sister's.
I'd been in Vietnam a while and was noticing these very short, roofless structures--walls abt 2 1/2 feet high, usually on stilts. Had no idea what they were until my sister came to visit and I sent her down to the Mekong Delta for 3 days to visit a friend's hometown.
I had been to this friend's house, but only for lunch, so had never seen the facilities. And if I had, I would never have sent Sis down there. I wish I had been there when she first laid eyes on the arrangement. It was beyond belief.
Behind my friend's coconut frond house, 5 ft over a slime-covered pond, was a bridge consisting of 2 bamboo poles lashed together and leading out to a low-walled, roofless structure positioned over the middle of the pond. When my sister cd no longer ignore the call of nature and tottered out to the middle of the pond, she found 2 planks in the structure on which to place her feet as she squatted. Neighborhood children watched from the shore. She pulled down her pants and did her business, and learned her most important lesson in Vietnam: Keep your mouth shut. Backsplash, she learned, can reach 5 ft.
Next to her was a basket filled w/ scraps of paper torn from the kids' homework books. Sis was at a loss: Was this paper to be used, or HAD it been used? Being a novice from the United States, she of course hadn't thought to bring along any paper for her high-wire act. She picked up the top piece of paper from the basket and only then found out the basket was for used matter.
It only added to the surrealness of her experience that waiting below in the pond were ah, special fish, who leaped to gobble her contributions.
I shd add that down in the Mekong Delta, where sewage treatment and other sewage systems aren't available, this fishpond toilet scheme is seen as very ecologically friendly.
I'd been in Vietnam a while and was noticing these very short, roofless structures--walls abt 2 1/2 feet high, usually on stilts. Had no idea what they were until my sister came to visit and I sent her down to the Mekong Delta for 3 days to visit a friend's hometown.
I had been to this friend's house, but only for lunch, so had never seen the facilities. And if I had, I would never have sent Sis down there. I wish I had been there when she first laid eyes on the arrangement. It was beyond belief.
Behind my friend's coconut frond house, 5 ft over a slime-covered pond, was a bridge consisting of 2 bamboo poles lashed together and leading out to a low-walled, roofless structure positioned over the middle of the pond. When my sister cd no longer ignore the call of nature and tottered out to the middle of the pond, she found 2 planks in the structure on which to place her feet as she squatted. Neighborhood children watched from the shore. She pulled down her pants and did her business, and learned her most important lesson in Vietnam: Keep your mouth shut. Backsplash, she learned, can reach 5 ft.
Next to her was a basket filled w/ scraps of paper torn from the kids' homework books. Sis was at a loss: Was this paper to be used, or HAD it been used? Being a novice from the United States, she of course hadn't thought to bring along any paper for her high-wire act. She picked up the top piece of paper from the basket and only then found out the basket was for used matter.
It only added to the surrealness of her experience that waiting below in the pond were ah, special fish, who leaped to gobble her contributions.
I shd add that down in the Mekong Delta, where sewage treatment and other sewage systems aren't available, this fishpond toilet scheme is seen as very ecologically friendly.
May 21st, 2002, 12:03 PM
#85
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All bathrooms can be bad if you are the one in the stall AFTER someone has attempted to straddle the toilet. I have began to ask women (who should know better) to go back and clean their OWN pee off the seat, and gotten cursed at and more. I usually reply with, "Do you leave it like that in your house too?" or "you are the reason people straddle in the first place". I am not a straddler (back injury)and carry a antiseptic towlette with me for pre and post 'business' episodes. HAVE I EVER SPOKEN TO YOU?
Jul 26th, 2002, 10:10 AM
#87
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they got this ultra small can out at the QUAD rental (All terrain vehicle) place just outside of palm springs. You walk into this nuclear type of bunker, it's about 4 feet tall, so you sorta hunch over and point straight down. it's pitch black inside of there and you just have to pray to god that you're hitting the bowl. the sand is whipping through there at a ferocious pace - it blows through the cracks in the wood.
Aug 5th, 2002, 12:01 PM
#88
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My husband and I were driving through Ireland on our honeymoon. Unbenounced to me, he had been drinking the local water. Well, as youmay know, the local water may be safe to drink, however, there are a lot of different bacteria in it that the American body is simply not used to.
Anyway, after partaking of much water, I was informed that I needed to find a restroom "quickly".
Well, we didn't find one quickley enough as it happens. My husband came shuffling back out to the car to get into his suitcase. I at this point still have no idea of the magnitude of the situation. So, here he comes at a very quick pace out of the gas station toilets in a hurry to get going. We burned rubber out of there.
About a mile down the road he told me what had happened. Apparently the cleaning person is going to find a full pair of boxers.
I thought I was going to hyperventilate I was laughing so hard. He swore me to secrecy and believe it or not, all these years later, this is the first time I have told the story.
Anyway, after partaking of much water, I was informed that I needed to find a restroom "quickly".
Well, we didn't find one quickley enough as it happens. My husband came shuffling back out to the car to get into his suitcase. I at this point still have no idea of the magnitude of the situation. So, here he comes at a very quick pace out of the gas station toilets in a hurry to get going. We burned rubber out of there.
About a mile down the road he told me what had happened. Apparently the cleaning person is going to find a full pair of boxers.
I thought I was going to hyperventilate I was laughing so hard. He swore me to secrecy and believe it or not, all these years later, this is the first time I have told the story.
Aug 8th, 2002, 08:17 AM
#89
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My boyfriend and I went camping a few weeks ago -- we hiked about two miles and found a great spot which SEEMED secluded. Little did we know there was a forest service access road about 200 yards away.
The first morning, we got up, had our cowboy coffee, and my boyfriend walked off to do his morning business. He was in the woods, pants down, mid-evacuation when he heard kids screaming and laughing. He turned around to see a group of cub scouts with horrified expressions on their faces. I guess they had driven up to work on their wilderness badges, but they got a sight they won't soon forget. My boyfriend ran back to our campsite and refused to come out of the tent for an hour. I was laughing so hard I had cowboy coffee coming out of my nose!
The first morning, we got up, had our cowboy coffee, and my boyfriend walked off to do his morning business. He was in the woods, pants down, mid-evacuation when he heard kids screaming and laughing. He turned around to see a group of cub scouts with horrified expressions on their faces. I guess they had driven up to work on their wilderness badges, but they got a sight they won't soon forget. My boyfriend ran back to our campsite and refused to come out of the tent for an hour. I was laughing so hard I had cowboy coffee coming out of my nose!
Aug 8th, 2002, 10:37 AM
#90
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Yep, this one is travel related but happened right at home.
My brother-in-law got me two buddy passes for a surprise birthday trip for my husband's birthday. We do not see each other often, and always in a family context. The only time scheduled that we would see each other was at a family Easter brunch at a restaurant. His wife managed to pass them over under the table. Having no purse, I shoved them in the back of my jeans, under my sweater. Just before leaving the restaurant, I hurriedly had to go. In the washroom stall, I dropped my pants and the temporarily forgotten tickets dropped into the bowl. I had to fish them out, rinse them and dry them off as best I could with paper. Then my husband wanted to know what had kept me in there so long...
My brother-in-law got me two buddy passes for a surprise birthday trip for my husband's birthday. We do not see each other often, and always in a family context. The only time scheduled that we would see each other was at a family Easter brunch at a restaurant. His wife managed to pass them over under the table. Having no purse, I shoved them in the back of my jeans, under my sweater. Just before leaving the restaurant, I hurriedly had to go. In the washroom stall, I dropped my pants and the temporarily forgotten tickets dropped into the bowl. I had to fish them out, rinse them and dry them off as best I could with paper. Then my husband wanted to know what had kept me in there so long...
Aug 13th, 2002, 07:28 AM
#91
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My husband & I were in the basement room at an old victorian b&b in Utah, I was hoping in the shower( had let it warm up) when he comes in and shuts the door the knob falls off on the outside of the door! There are no windows & I had it steamed up so it was a little scary, I stand on the toilet pounding on the ceiling( it was very early noone heard me) luckily he had tweezers in his kit and was able to grab the little thing in the door but it was a nervous 10 minutes that we still laugh about.
Aug 13th, 2002, 07:45 AM
#92
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Middle of the night train ride from Moscow to St. Petersburg. Had to pee really really bad. Waiting outside door of closet sized restroom. The door finally opens and out comes an inebriated man and woman. Enter restroom, notice an assortment of bodily fluids and quickly depart.
Aug 30th, 2002, 01:53 AM
#94
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For me, without doubt, the toilets at the Sphinx, Egypt.
It was only a few months after the bombing of tourist sites (1997) and so myself and about 15 other people were the only visitors to the evening performance of the sound and light show. 15 people sitting in an area made for 1500. About 10 minutes before it started, I got those awful pains in my stomach meaning, in Egypt, only one thing. I trudged off into the darkness to try to find the can. Eventually after a long walk in the wrong direction, some dude pointed to a set of steps leading underground. Two silhouettes of heads (one a man, one woman) were stuck on the wall to indicate ladies and mensroom. They both looked the same in the gloom.
I chose the most likely and went on down. A mustachioed teenage boy of about 16 beckoned me down and assured me I could use the facilities as long as I gave him money afterwards. I was desperate so said yes and walked in.
At first I couldn't really make anything out - it was too dark. I could feel my shoes squelching through something and the floor was sort of shiny in the dim light coming from the small window. I entered a stall (with 3 foot high door that swung open as there was no lock)and recoiled in horror. Trying not to gag I peered into the toilet bowl; a very, very dark colour was the most I could make out. Mustache had given me about 18 inches of toilet paper - useless really in my condition - but better than nothing. Sittin there I saw a hand coming through the doorway proffering more paper that I glady accepted.
Cutting it short, I did what I had to then pressed the flush lever. Nothing happened - there was no water! I had to slink out and then try to wash my hands from a jerrycan that Mustache kept by his side.
I gave him what cash I had, he looked at it as if I'd wiped myself with it, and I walked back into the real world. I sat down next to my sister and, before she could speak, said 'Don't ask, please, just don't'.
It was only a few months after the bombing of tourist sites (1997) and so myself and about 15 other people were the only visitors to the evening performance of the sound and light show. 15 people sitting in an area made for 1500. About 10 minutes before it started, I got those awful pains in my stomach meaning, in Egypt, only one thing. I trudged off into the darkness to try to find the can. Eventually after a long walk in the wrong direction, some dude pointed to a set of steps leading underground. Two silhouettes of heads (one a man, one woman) were stuck on the wall to indicate ladies and mensroom. They both looked the same in the gloom.
I chose the most likely and went on down. A mustachioed teenage boy of about 16 beckoned me down and assured me I could use the facilities as long as I gave him money afterwards. I was desperate so said yes and walked in.
At first I couldn't really make anything out - it was too dark. I could feel my shoes squelching through something and the floor was sort of shiny in the dim light coming from the small window. I entered a stall (with 3 foot high door that swung open as there was no lock)and recoiled in horror. Trying not to gag I peered into the toilet bowl; a very, very dark colour was the most I could make out. Mustache had given me about 18 inches of toilet paper - useless really in my condition - but better than nothing. Sittin there I saw a hand coming through the doorway proffering more paper that I glady accepted.
Cutting it short, I did what I had to then pressed the flush lever. Nothing happened - there was no water! I had to slink out and then try to wash my hands from a jerrycan that Mustache kept by his side.
I gave him what cash I had, he looked at it as if I'd wiped myself with it, and I walked back into the real world. I sat down next to my sister and, before she could speak, said 'Don't ask, please, just don't'.
Aug 30th, 2002, 02:58 AM
#95
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Not the stinky hole in the 2nd class train compartment, Rome to Paris, 1974,: not the incredibly dirty and smelly bathroom on the Aeroflot Jet, Yerevan Armenia to Moscow, 1976, Not even the outhouse of the Woodstock Fair in Ct... my scariest bathroom incident occurred just last week at a Fresh Market in Raleigh, NC. I went in to the BR where a mother and two kids where already "busy" in the other stalls. Both were "perculating" as Kramer would say. That was ok but what freaked me out was that the mother, in her best sing-song voice kept praising the kids: "Good job, good job,, you are great!" These were not toddlers being potty trained but much older kids. Then one kid told the mother his foot had fallen asleep and she said " that's ok, that happens sometimes on the potty... you still did a good job"! Sacre Blue.. not only can kids never do no wrong but these are praised for pooping and their self-esteem fiercly gaurded when their foot falls asleep.
Aug 30th, 2002, 04:46 AM
#96
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This is a story my parents told me. They were on a country road in Europe and mom really had to go. No BR in sight for miles so she decided "to sit" between the two (passenger) car doors and thought this would block the view from any cars passing by. Just as she was doing her business a train passed up from "behind" and alot of people had a "cracking up" experience from there train compartments......
Aug 30th, 2002, 04:49 AM
#97
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A few years back while camping, I used one of those outhouses which sit over a large, liquid-filled holding tank. The "liquid" was 6 or 7 feet under the toilet. When camping I tend to get, well, a bit backed up, but when I have to go I really have to go. I sat down to do my business and let loose such a load that the "liquid" at the bottom of the toilet splashed up and hit me in the mouth. The lesson learned - keep your legs together and your mouth closed while sitting on the throne!
Aug 30th, 2002, 03:08 PM
#98
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Ya ZZ, yer story reminded me of da time Ole and I were fishing and had to use the twooo-holer together at da same time. Well, we bot finished about da same time, and as we wer hikin up our trousers a quarter fell out from Ole's pocket into da hole.
Well, Ole looked down da hole for a few seconds, den reached into his pocket, grabbed all da coins and trew dem down da hole. A few seconds later, he reached into his udder pocket, took out his wallet, and trew a doller down da hole. Pretty soon after, he trows down a five doller bill. I den watch in astonishment as Ole tosses his wallet down da hole. Ole, Ole, I said, what in tunder ya doin? Ole turns, looks up and says, "Well now, ya don't tink I'd be goin down dat hole for just a quarter, do ya?
Well, Ole looked down da hole for a few seconds, den reached into his pocket, grabbed all da coins and trew dem down da hole. A few seconds later, he reached into his udder pocket, took out his wallet, and trew a doller down da hole. Pretty soon after, he trows down a five doller bill. I den watch in astonishment as Ole tosses his wallet down da hole. Ole, Ole, I said, what in tunder ya doin? Ole turns, looks up and says, "Well now, ya don't tink I'd be goin down dat hole for just a quarter, do ya?
Aug 30th, 2002, 04:33 PM
#99
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In China, on bike trip outside of Yangshou . . . visited cave, had beer (needed lots o' beer for the bike trip), needed to visit the bathroom . . . directed outback . . . to a shed that housed 3 big pigs . . . toilet was on one side, pigs on the other, don't know which smelled worse, the toilet or the pigs . . . I've got pictures! Love traveling!
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