Has anyone read Letting Go by Coburn and Treeger, I found it useful when my first one went off, who has since graduated and lives in nyc, which brings an entirely new set of joys and worries. My second is now in sophomore year. When my first was going, I had lunch with a friend who is older than I and a grandmother. This is what she said and I remember it often: "This is what's supposed to happen if you've done a good job. They are supposed to go off and start their life. You should pat yourself on the back. But no one should have ever told you this mother business would be easy. I will tell you, it never ends. We get sad when we take down the crib for the last time, sad when they get on the school bus for the first time, and sad at every major milestone, as well as happy. It's full of melancholy this mother business. We worry about dates, jobs, safety, health, you name it. And when they are older, it doesn't end. My daughter just relocated to California because of her husbands job, with my two grandchildren, and I am in Boston. It kills me. And last Christmas Eve, when all my 3 kids and grandkids were home and sleeping, I stopped at the top of the stairs and with tears in my eyes thought, now, for a while, they are all home, and this is a happy mother and grandmother. "
I balled my eyes out that day and at the same time I am happy for my kids.
One other quick memory. After birth of my first, I was rushed back to er for emergency surgery, several days in icu; my mother nearby enough to care for baby and help husband; when I could finally talk to her all I wanted to ask about was the baby -feedings, changings, sleeping, etc - i was so worried about my baby and she answered me but started to cry. What's wrong I asked - nothing she said," the baby is fine - but I have been just so worried about YOU, (crying, crying) don't you get it - you are still my baby. " ---- once we've had babies, we get that. AHHHH, it never does end.
BUT, as empty nesters for the second year in a row there are good parts - redefining the marriage - dinners out when we want, cooking new recipes the kids would never eat, weekend overnights at the last minute.....and visits when they come home (and gee, I hate to tell them sometimes please don't bring a friend b/c I still want alone time with you) but hey, it all works out. I have found out this, if you are willing to pay, they will meet you anywhere for a vacation !!! Even at 20 and 24 ! And sometimes, when they have a college break, this is better after a few days at home to see their friends, b/c once you are away there are no phone interruptions, no constantly running off with friends, just some family reunification. AND YES send lots of care packages, they love them: full of goodies, food, things for the dorm college hang out room, holiday decorations (the crazier the better), so start collecting halloween pumpkin and ghost banners and flashing spider lights and candy corn and box them up and ship them out !

Thanks for the lovely words, escargot. My oldest just left in September and will be home for the first visit this weekend.It is bittersweet!

What a beautiful post escargot. You have my eyes teary. And everything you said is true IMHO. Take care!

Escargot, that is exactly how I feel. Our second daughter went off to college this year. We still have a 16-year-old son at home. My most treasured times are when we are all 5 together, just being together. I'm so glad they are all growing up and living their lives, but sometimes my heart aches when I think about how they are growing away from ME. We are all still close, and I hope we're always close.

That's another reason I love our family vacations -- it's just the 5 of us, no friends, no appointments.

When your kids are small, you really have no idea how fast it all goes.

Great post, Escargot! It would've brought tears to my eyes anytime. But especially now. As I mentioned on another thread, because of the way Fall Break, her class schedule and Yom Kippur fall, my daughter wound up with a 10 day break. So she's home and I'm enjoying every moment of it. But it's always in the back of my mind that she'll be leaving Sunday and I won't see her again until mid-December.

She's so happy at her school. And I'm so happy for her. And so proud of her. But, jeez, do I miss her when she's gone.

However, your line about cooking new recipes struck a chord with me. I've been very aware of how much easier it is to cook when she's gone. We still have one at home. But he'll pretty much try anything. She's the picky one!

yes, new recipes....my new favorite is epicurious.com with lots of good choices...so I am cooking/experimenting more than ever - and I only have to buy Annie's mac & cheese before they are due home, as well as make their old standby favorties - which is nice when they say when I come home can you make the such and such dish....no one makes it like you do ! my daughter even calls now for recipes....so we are needed in different ways

...I remember getting dropped off at the Atlanta College of Art in 1990 at the ripe old age of 17...my stepdad even slowed down a little for me to jump out...I wish I could go back now, I am so much more learning oriented and hungry for knowledge now, and into art more...."If I knew then..."

I had the most fun reading through this thread because we are going through the college search process right now.(our baby daughter will be graduating in May) It's such an exciting time, but yet, sad too. I can't even imaging this time next year.
Wednedsay: I'm curious "If I knew then...." Where would you send a 18 yr. to college who is extremly interested and "into" art?