Where will you feel right? Is social life a big deal? What specific things do you want to do? Where are they available? Is there a location where you will feel happy to do nothing except breathe the air? If so, that's the place to go.

Why did you leave home in the first place? That may tell why that city is or is not right now.

Make a list of everything pro and con. Then pick the place that fits the list.

Parents may or may not need care. Waiting for that to happen seems sad and depressing.

Wanting to spend time with parents and family and have a good time is different. However, remember, they may have hectic lives and little time to share even if they love you and want to see you. "Life" gets in the way of what we want many times. Will there really be lots of time to spend with family (old city) or friends (newer city with kids of friends same age)? Missing is not the same as making time.

Don't romanticise either place.

Is it possible to spend a week at both places (not a vacation, a week of looking at everything available with a logical view - like a new city)?


My best advice is to bond with the new place.

Best wishes for a great move.

sillybilly
We moved back home after being gone 17 years. We are very happy with our decision. Many family members we do not see but once every few months but for the first time since our kids have been married, we are a real part of their life. We go to all the grandchildrens sports events, we have dinner either at their house or ours at least once a week, they are our best friends and I love the grandkids busting thru the door and heading to the frig where they know they will find their favorite snacks. I love being part of family and it is so great being back home! From a grandparent's point of view, maybe your parents would love having your children be part of their life. There's a big difference between visiting family and living in the same area with family.

Good luck with your decision, it is tough.

I am a lucky girl. I live in the same town as my brothers and their families, in fact down the street from one of them. My dad lives here 6 mos and in Fl for 6 mos, We have a great group of friends, many as close as family. Sometimes I say I live in Cleaverland. I guess I should say its a Rave! It would be really hard to relocate, although we expect to buy a winter place closer to our retirement years to get away from the usually harsh Buffalo winters. That being said, if I were faced with relocation, I would choose a place that offered the most in terms of my childrens future...education, jobs, activities, housing, affordability, etc.
Good luck with your decision.

Thank you all so much for all your input. You have given me some great things to think about. We really get along with our families very well, and I know they really want us to move back. Every time I think about it and how it would be raising my small kids down there I get hesitant. I guess that means we should steer clear of S. Florida. When I think about raising my kids in the midwest, it feels better. Nice neighborhoods, small town feel, Great weather, pumkin patches in the fall. I think my biggest problem with the midwest, Peoria in particular, is that there isn't much there to offer my kids in their future, and the distance. We visited Charlottesville, VA back in November and just loved it. We had the mountains that we love and beautiful surrounding areas. DC is not that far if we wanted to take the kids. The University was a great bonus. The problem is that we don't know anyone and it seems to get harder to make good friends the older you get. I guess I should try not being so fearful. We really just want to get it right. My husband is just going to have to pick our favorite places we think we will enjoy and interview at companies and go from there.

silly-i've been to Peoria...BIL worked for Cat. I cant say I would rush to move there. For fun, we went to watch whippets and greyhounds run. The economy seemed so dependent on CAT too. My SIL and BIL moved in and out of Peoria three times as my BIL took overseas assignments. Each time they had a hard time selling their house and ended up carrying the expenses of two homes for a few months. I think the opportunities in FL or VA would be much better in the long run. YOu mentioned you had young kids. There's no better time or way to meet people than when your kids are young. You can meet people in schools, pre-schools, religious schools or churches, synagogues, kids sports, dance, other activities your kids participate in.

Hope this helps.

Virginia, on the whole has a pretty good school system.

Don't plan on a location for your kids future because won't they move away for college?

Mine would have rather been shot than stay in their hometown for university.

You need to have a heart to heart with your husband about this.

The two things I would absolutely want to consider would be the school districts and REAL quality of your family life as your kids are young yet and you have a lot of years before they are gone.

Which area offers these agendas' best? What kind of schooling for them, plus commutes or jobs that will give you choices to be WITH your kids and each other.

Later might be a different story. You can not believe the nightmares some of my peers have gone through taking care of "healthy" parents in another state- one without any warning. Life may throw you some real curves, but you can do the best by making your own house situation the best for viable family life.

Few families can manage their own perfect scenarios, but only you can know your own true feelings. Your husband as well- you must be truthful with each other. You don't want to please him and then be resentful. Have I seen it happen both ways.