Alexander, your response was TOO funny. Not to mention SO true. Actually, I'm enjoying the entire thread. I just wish I could add something! (But I can't).

OK, this one just reminded me of the other night me & my BF were standing at the host desk, waiting to be shown to a table.No one else was there, the man walked up to us and said 2?
my boy friend . me. = 2
so they don't teach math to restaurant hosts?

Do you have this in the US - a notice saying "Duck or Grouse" over a low doorway? Hate it!

I hate the phrase served on a bed of..
like my damned chicken is just taking a nap.

Not a "term," but several phrases.

Upon entering a restaurant, solo, and approaching the host/hostess, being greeted with, "Just one this evening?" Or, "Only one person?" Or, "All alone tonight, are we?"

Grrr.

I'll have to agree with Sheli on the salad (note to "the Boss" - I don't care how they spell it - no matter how it's spelled it's usually mis-represented). The claim is generally that because a REAL Caesar salad is made with coddled egg, it's not safe due to Salmonella concerns. Fact is, there are now "safe" eggs available for a price but making the genuione article is labor intensive and it seems no one wants to go to the trouble. Someone PLEASE let me know if there are still restaurants in the NYC area making a Ceasar table-side - all this discussion has me hungry! As for cutesy bathroom monikers...

gods and goddesses
cowboys and cowgirls
billies and nannies (at a ski area that served as goat pasture in summer)

Holly, the host is not a mind reader. How does he know if your mother, aunt, brother, sister or 5 kids aren't parking the car? I'm sure the host is math proficient. He just dosn't know if you might be waiting for another couple, or if someone in your party is in the bathroom. Asking if there are 2 in your party is not a stupid question, but posting it as a term to ban is.

Since this topic diverted to offbeat names for the bathrooms:

Pointers and Setters

"sir, your credit card has been declined"

"gratuity included"

"sharing charge $2"

anything 'with.'

Twelve clauses later, we have 'sauteed soft-shell crab with gently braised root vegetables with a zinfandel sauce with rosemary orzo with fresh baby spinach and . . . with a price tag of $28.95.'

And a side note to the critics: should this post be deleted since it doesn't really deal with travel, even though it's more than amusing?

Savory

Remember the famous line from the movie ("So I Married an Axe Murderer"): "Most Scottish recipes are actually based upon a dare"?

Why is everyone ignoring those disgusting UK staples:

BLOOD pudding? Blechhh!
Shepherd's pie (leftover lamb parts)
Haggis (sheep's stomach ,lard, oatmeal, onion, pepper)

Fermented beaver tail is a Native Alaskan specialty, traditionally made by burying it in a pit for weeks or months, and now made in plastic bags. It is fondly (and accurately) known as "stinky tail."

Head cheese (contains actual hog's head with tongue)
Hog Maw (pig stomach with potatos and sausage)

The server greeting my boyfriend and I with, "How are you guys doing?" Here in the South, a woman is not a "guy."

My pet peeve is when the server practically ignores you all night, screws up your order, forgets your silverware, etc... AND then just before tip time, he becomes your new best friend, hovering over your table, and FINALLY asking how everything was.

Also when they first greet you by saying. "hi, I'm Bob, and I'll be your server tonight". I always have to stop myself from saying, 'hi, I'm Nina, and I'll be your customer this evening".

Once our server at TGIF Fridays, actually had a laminated picture of his children on the check, (tip) tray. I wish that I had some pictures of my dog, or my Uncle Clarence and Aunt Gertie to share with him.

I hate when you go into some place and they use the term "famous" or "world famous" to describe a food item. As in
"Uncle Eds world famous hog snouts and corn pone" how can it be world famous if no one has ever heard of it??? Another on is "legendary" as in "Try one of Joe's legendary steaks", who are these people trying to fool.

Great thread. A couple of my favorite pretentious menu terms: tuile, nage. Had each several times, still not sure what they mean.

Hate to see: "bleu cheese dressing $.25 extra". Hey, it doesn't cost any more anyway, and even if it did, is it worth being annoying for a quarter?

Hate to hear: "Hi! I'm [insert name here] and I'll be taking care of you tonight!" If I wanted a friend for the night I'd have gone to the local singles bar.

How about some regional menu terms for the ghastly lobster tail/steak combo? Here's a few I've seen:

Surf & Turf (of course)
Reef & Beef
Lob & Loin
Haddock & Paddock (I swear it's true)

"Fully Committed" -sounds like a marriage vow. Why don't they just say they're full; or no reservations available?

Plummie, someone used that one on us in Atlanta and I thought they meant that they had all gone insane (not really but that is what it sounded like to me). Of course, we just showed up anyway and were seated within 10 minutes!!!

What about those that are BOTH stupid AND pretentious:

I've seen both "roast beef with au jus sauce" and "eggs benedictine."

(au jus, translated, is "with [its] juice"; benedictine is a liqueur not a way to fix eggs.)

Dick: DO tell us the context for "nage" -- which ought to refer to swimming -- and for "tuile" which ought to refer to a blow or sudden bit of bad luck. Does this mean that the fish was clubbed rather than hooked? That would be bad luck for the fish?