There are some terms that only show up regarding restaurants, and I would happily ban the following:

tasty
zesty
delectable
drenched
smothered
broasted
lovingly prepared
secret recipe
down-home
garni
and of course, delicious (if it isn't, why serve it?)

Then there's:
buoys and gulls
muchachas and muchachos
guys and dolls

and for the front (and, frankly, on this forum), let's never, ever see the word "eats" again! (Does anyone remember the Gahan Wilson cartoon of a diner set out in the desert with "EATS" on a big sign on the roof, with a gigantic alien monster coming over a hill toward the building, salivating?)

There must be more.....

fusion
melange
bistro
brasserie

decadent

downtown
uptown
midtown

Mmmmmm....I think I would ban Logophobic from posting again.
"Eats" is the quintessencial designation for diner food. And I see nothing wrong with tasty, smothered, secret recipe.....

I just may commit homocide on the next person who, in writing, pretentiously refers to a restaurant as an "eatery."

Yeah, right. Now there's a term you use in conversation every day at work: "So, what eatery are you planning to frequent for lunch?"

In the wine world:
buttery
plummy
smooth
full
Food:
healthy (I really don't expect anything to be unhealthy)
condensed
naturally raised (since when do they go out and hunt a wild chicken?)
satisfying
home made (whose home?)

Flavorful. The waiter used this term about a Tilapia dish at a French bistro in Chicago the other night and I nearly gagged.

Fresh-killed

These are phrases more than terms but here goes anyway:

"cooked to your liking" (Translation: Order it the way you want, we'll cook it the way we want)

"Prepared to your specifications" (see above)

"exotic blend of herbs and spices" (Translation: No person in his right mind would put these things together)

And the uber pretentious "House-made"

Rod

Coulis!

Can I inject a “term” which many waiters and waitresses seem to use so often I want to scream? It irks me to no ends when I ask for something and they respond, “No problem.” Well, it’d better not be a problem to bring me some more water or whatever else I may ask for!

I would much prefer they respond, “Certainly, right away.” –or something in that venue.

Happy Trails,
Paul

I will respectively submit this to your "amusing" names for restrooms:

At Outback Steakhouse:
Blokes and Shielas

This caused my 9 year old to return to the table to find out just which classification he fell under.

Logophobic, could you give us a menu description of your favorite meal?

The obligatory name for a restaurant in almost every beach community:

The Rusty Scupper
The Fishin' Net
The Captain's Table
The Lobster Shanty
The Skippers Rest
The Crows Nest
or anything with "Ye Olde'..."

I always avoid restaurants that advertise their food with a photo of a giant lobster. Who the hell eats a 5 pound lobster, anyway? Anytime I see that, I assume its a place for fat, showy Italian guys who wear alot of gold jewelry. "Hey, gimme the biggest freakin' lobster you got"

Here's what I hate: a hot cup of coffee, a hot cup of soup (I want the soup and the coffee hot, not the container). "Baked on the premises." What does that mean? Stirred up somewhere else, and plopped on a cookie sheet right here? Also, Ice Tea. It's Iced Tea.

Gourmet.... I hate that word. I have seen billboards for highway burger joints that use _that_ word, as well as real restaurants. There is absolutely no standard for its useage.

I once asked a pretentious young woman, what kind of cheese she had brought to our group picnic - she answered, 'it's a gourmet cheese'.

I hate seeing the following terms used to describe menu items:

Donkey-smothered
Gargled
rodent-infused
diaperific
oozing
Jersey-fresh
Clotted
The maddest cow

Hey Boss… don’t quit your day job – a comedian you’re not.

Unfortunately, the lameness of his jokes is about equal to the quality of David Letterman these days.

Hand Carved

Wood fired
Slow roasted
hand picked (what, like we thought they picked them with their feet?)
anything termed 'colossal'

Now here is my real rant: These places that have some lame theme about all the real life characters that name each dish because it's their favorite. You know the ones...Granny's cheesecake, or Uncle Sid's Oyster Pie.

(jump in anytime here folks)