Hey NY... do you have kids?
I totally agree with you, but I also think I understand how much of it happened.
Times have changed from when I was a kid (60's and 70's)
There were predators back then, that's for sure, but NOTHING like today.
The world is just much more dangerous.
SO... many boomers who now have teens are really scared to let the kids run as free as we did. Some totally isolate the kids, some live in denial, some (like me) have been exposing their kids to travel and life slowly. My daughter is a good 3 years behind me at 18.
My friends in Europe have kids the same age that have already backpacked across Europe alone. I think that's because Europe is a safer place... more like the US when I was 18.
I don't think you can compare irresponsibility to naiveté. My daughter is naive, not irresponsible.
She wants to do the right thing but she could get in trouble because her intuition is not sharp enough.
I don't worry about her doing drugs, but I do worry about her getting into a bad situation because she is just too naive.
And to say that ALL kids are going to do drugs and get drunk given the chance is just goofy. That’s like saying they would shoplift if they knew they would get away with it.
Some will, some won’t.
My husband and I grew up in the same area, same schools, same economic bracket in the drug crazy 1970’s.
To this day he has never used an illegal drug in his life. He’s been drunk 4 or 5 times as a soldier in the Army. I did it all. Why? Who knows? But some people just are not attracted to that sort of thing and others are…

TxTravelpro: I do agree that in a lot of ways,the world is a more dangerous place, but I also think that our media and our government want us to be scared and we get a daily message from the mass media to be afraid...

And the fact that we want to coddle our children when we should be allowing them to grow up and protect them from this constant "danger" siren pushed in our face is a reality, too, just like some very real dangers out there...

Wrong travelpro. There are just as many predators now as then, we just hear more about it.

look at the Catholic church for example. There were many more abuse cases in the 60's that we never heard of, which are all coming out now.

And, any child is suseptible to doing drugs. I'm sure your daughter is an angel, but never assume it wont happen to them. Why? just as you said, who knows.

Wow... I have to say that, based on other responses here, my parents (mother, really) were extremely strict! My mother would NEVER have said "you're 18 now so do what you wish -- I can't stop you". I'm laughing just thinking about it! Being from Europe but living in the US (NY), I have traveled back and forth to Europe since I was literally a baby. I traveled with my parents all over the world during the summers, including when I was in my teens and LOVED it. I was never allowed to bring a friend nor was it considered an "option" for me to go with them. I looked forward to the 2 month trips every year. Heck -- I still travel with my parents every time I go visit them in Spain! We make it a point to take a trip the 3 of us together, just like old times. And I'm, uh, 37... Granted, I have parents who are very young at heart! I have to say that none of my H.S. friends were permitted to go with other friends on a senior trip. MANY of my friends though did take trips upon graduation of COLLEGE. By then, you have your own money and life-experiences so as to make it worth something more than just an opportunity to be "by yourself" and party. And, come on, I don't care how angelic these kids are, count on them having "fun".

Oh... and by the way. When I arrived at my university I was the overall "good girl". No drinking, no drugs, no trouble to speak of. I was invited to a party my first or second day there and did my first funnel of tequila. Wow... I still shudder when I think about it. Did that teach me a lesson? Not really, but over the YEARS I did learn many, many lessons which made me the responsible adult I am today. What did I know at 18?!?!

And your conclusion is, Heavens....?

Heavens,

For my senior trip, 3 friends and I went on a cruise to the Bahamas (we were all 18), booked through a travel agent. The result? Well, except for one friend who discovered she suffered from terrible sea sickness, it was fun...but a little boring.

We didn't enjoy being "trapped" on the boat all day and except for families with young children, we decided we were the youngest passengers by about 15 years. The port excursions were fun, but short, and we did not turn into partying, wasted girls looking for trouble, as we were not that way at home.

Not every 18 year old is a disaster waiting to happen.

Oh, and to answer your question: we were able to cruise at 18. Might try calling a local travel agent to double check as this was a few years ago.

So no one ever heard of Ted Bundy, the Zodiac killer or the murder of almost a dozen nurses in the 1960s and 1970s? There isn't any difference from then to today. I agree the media wants to scare us. I remember going back to college in my early 30s and having to wait for public transportation in not the best neighborhood but what are you going to do, be afraid of life?

Ok, I concede that many places are safer now than in the 70's (take NYC) but Dallas is NOT safer now, it is way more dangerous. In the 70's there was much less hostility towards Americans in Europe, too.
If there is the same number of crazies per capita as there were in the 70's that means there are MORE today. Right?

Heavens opted not to answer and she will do what she thinks best for them, I'm sure.

nytraveler, you are correct about the developmental delay in social skills etc. But that is not just about Boomers/sheltering parents at all. It is developmental from the USA child's lifestyle. (TV, electronic games time, organized sports with no one a "loser", etc. etc.) and with mom's and dad's working more (often both) or any number of other dysfunctions in adult/child time. Not one in two live with two adults, in many geographical areas. One parent can do a great job, but not as often statistically. Actually it is testable- and it became a 2 to 3 year delay over the period 1975 to 2000. People no longer are self-supportive and/or getting married at 19 or 20, as they were when I was a high school graduate. This all plays into social skills acquired and it isn't just that they have been spoon fed.

And in this day there is much more permanent damage then there was 20 or 30 years ago. AIDS, other nasty and permanently damaging STD'S, designer drugs put into drinks far more often, more guns vs fists, and more psychopaths per capita AND in numbers because there are more people total.

It all "happens" in stages and 18 is no magic number. But regardless of what we knew or did not know from media, the fatalites are much higher now. Then, you heard about a Karen Ann Quinlan for a year on the news. Now it is literally every week in my area, that someone aspirates alcohol or dies from alcohol poisoning- so it doesn't even make the news.

So your kid is great, and it won't happen to them! Wow, traveling with band groups etc. and hockey as I have- hope you all get lucky. Right now in 2005, it seems a bit like throwing a youngster off a pier to teach them to swim.

24/7 free time on a vacation, they still will- unless they are not on your income tax- have the liability of consequences revert to you as the adult parent.

Two interesting articles about kids in Cancun. Also, the State Department issued a warning to parents.

http://www.freep.com/news/metro/spring25_20010425.htm

http://www.familyeducation.com/artic...-28726,00.html

From the State Department: http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_p.../cis_1755.html

OK, I cannot stand it anymore.
The State Department "warning" is not a warning, it is a fact sheet.

If you or your 18 year old son/daughter don't already know the things outlined within this fact sheet, your both in big trouble.

1. "American citizens should remember that when they are in Cancun, they are subject to the laws of Mexico." - This is a no-brainer, when you are in a foreign country you are subject to their laws, period.

2. "lewd or indecent behavior, littering, driving under the influence, drinking on the street or on public transportation, using public transportation without payment, or making obscene or insulting remarks are considered criminal activities by Mexican authorities." - No kidding, are these things legal in ANY country?

3. "deal with reputable travel agents" - hmmm, how many of you would intentionally deal with an UNreputable one?

4. "Crimes against the person, such as rape, commonly but not exclusively occur at night or in the early morning hours, and sometimes involve alcohol and the discotheque environment. " - This is true of any large city, not exclusive to Cancun.

My point is that if you are relying on the government to tell you these things, you shouldn't be travelling in the first place, no matter what age you are.

I stand corrected atilla.

Keep in mind that authorities in Mexico tend to be Napoleonic about crime, you are guilty until you prove yourself innocent.

Also, the local US Embassy can't do diddly for you if you are charged with a crime except contact your family and give you a list of lawyers.

I'd bet my next 10 paychecks that most 18 year olds have no idea that United States laws and rights stop at the US border.

Attila and GoTravels post are very important IMHO for anyone going to Mexico.

Yes in Mexico you are considered guilty until proven innocent. In Mexico if you are jailed you better have family memebers that will give you money for food, blankets etc.

I have always loved vacationing in Mexico but legally it is another whole world.

And also, the prison system is so corrupt that as of about a week ago the Mexican government was considering sending the army in to take over the prisons. Not sure however that will change anything.

Another Mexico warning: when we were standing in line to get our rental car, the German couple in front of us was trying to communicate the following: They had unknowingly turned in their rental car without a license plate. Apparently they had been directed where to park, in a hotel parking lot (downtown Playa del Carmen). Police removed their license plate for "illegally parking." You have to go to the police station and pay a big fine in order to claim it. Be very careful!

To follow up on this very long thread, wanted to update you all.

Teen daughter and her friends have decided not to take a senior trip. They just couldn't get it together. One group of friends were going on a cruise to HI and they even canceled. Got too expensive and complicated.

OD decided to save the money. There are lots of post graduation activities going on, parties and such. We have family coming down for a few days to be with her, when she has time.

I even offered her a Mom/daughter trip to NYC. She says she wants to work, save money, and not take a trip. She hopes to go on a semester overseas in a few years and would rather save up for that. So...these kids do make good choices. Most of the time.

The prom and graduation wardrobe and announcements alone are putting a pretty good dent on my credit card, so no trip was OK with me.

Thanks for all your input. It was fun to hear all the different sides of what seems to be a hot topic. Have a great summer, ya'll...

Last week, a Mountain Brook, Alabama high school senior on her senior trip did not return home. Her parents are in Aruba, looking for her. She was last seen getting into a car with 3 men from Aruba who have been questioned and released. She was on a trip with 120+ other seniors and 7 chaperones. According to all accounts, her friends and school officials say she is a softspoken, highly motivated, well-liked girl with a bright future (full college scholarhips and plans to go to med school.) After hearing stories like this, I am sure you are glad your daughter stayed home! Too many things can happen.

Heavens, thanks so much for giving us an update! Congratulations to your daughter

Bamakelly, I've heard about that story -- horrible, just horrible.

SEVEN chaperones for 120 kids that have just graduated high school? Who's crack induced logic was that? That is almost 20 kids per chaperone.