I think it is safe to say that while some people with children may have misconceptions about those who don't, the flip side is true as well.

There is also the other side of the story too...

Not everyone is supposed to be a parent, for whatever path their life take them on. My husband and I are going to be married 6 years, I am going to be 45 in 2 weeks and my DH will be 48. We do not have children. Would we have been good parents? Most likey, but I have not regrets. it just did not happen for eithere one of us and we both agree that we are too old to become parents. I don't feel like I missed out on anything...how can you miss something you never had?? What we do have is a great realationship. As unbelieveable as this may sound we spend most of the day together 24/7 as we have our own business. Our company is just he and I. We would not have been able to start our company if we had children. It's really all about soul searching. I know that it was too late for us but have no regrets at all. What we do have is no mortgage (all paid), no credit card debt or any debt, financial security, our own company which we built up to 2 million in sales in 5 years, freedom to travel any time any where, luxury cars, dinner at great restaurants...Well you get the idea. It's not that we really made a choice, it's more like the choice was made for us and we made the best of it.

Having kids is not for everyone. If you choose not to have, there is also a great life without them.




We are very happy and have a very fufilled life.

And, some of us have all of the things that you mention....and we have kids too!

What I mean is that one does not preclude the other.

Not too many of us mere mortals, wow. Fact is, having children is very expensive, from diapers, to day care, to the extra space needed in the house, soccer, camps, college. And yes, the cost of family vacations.

According to a 2005 USDA report, the cost of raising a child to the age of 17 is $500,000. Needless to say, that doesn't include college. Here's a url to that website:

http://www.pregnancy-info.net/raising_child_cost.html

Great site, Orcas - not only for the cost factor, but lots of other good info as well.

I'm thinking maybe I better not read too much right now though, or I may completely change my mind again on having a child! (seriously scary stuff!)

Travel addict/Heidi

Congratulations on your decision! I hope it all works out for you!

My kids are the unplanned but much loved variety. I'd barely considered the idea of having children when the first arrived ... I was nearly 28 but just busy, busy. On my son's 6th birthday my husband and I went for a walk together and we both decided that we'd like another baby because our son was just so wonderful.

The walk was short because my back hurt and the next day I realised I was already pregnant..!

My kids are great travellers and yes, it's possible to travel anywhere with kids...there are kids all over the world after all.

My kids travel better than I do regarding long flights and have done since they were babies.

Do I wish I'd travelled more instead of having them... no but I'm starting to wonder what it'll be like to travel without them when they leave home and it makes me feel a little bit sad! (Pre-empty nest syndrome!!)

Quote recently seen...wonder how many of us have made them ammends!

Children are enough the sorrow of their poor mothers in the breeding, bearing, and nursing of them; they should therefore, when they grow up, study to be their joy, and so, if possible, to make them some amends.

travel addict,

There is a great website you might want to check out: www.babycenter.com. It's full of information about trying to get pregnant, pregnancy, infants, toddlers, etc. There are articles to read, message boards, and loads of other information. I have found it so helpful throughout pregnancy and now that the baby is actually here. If you want a good scare, go to the "sleep" boards and see how many of us have problems with getting our babies to sleep! ha, ha! Seriously, that website has been very helpful to me. Good luck to you.

My wife and I both love to travel, too, and with 3 kids (3-9-11) it is difficult. More to pack. More interests to accomodate. More expensive. Less time to actually travel because of school. In some ways, it's actually easier when they're not in school yet so get those multi-week trans-national venues out of the way in the next 6-7 years.

Do we regret have three kids? NO. Travel is just different and, frankly, we get to experience many things from their perspective: fresh and through new eyes. More N. American trips, especially to Canada. And the people you meet with kids are great.

Q1: You're not nuts. Travel is mostly attitude anyway. You can do it.

Q2: We have taken plane flights with our kids at ages 2, 5, 8, 7 and 9. They were all different. The youngest traveled the best at age 2. Go figure.

Q3: Never. Ever.

DONT do it, just because your clock is ticking. You have only one life, and it goes by unbelievably quick.

I was YOU almost 20 years ago. Married 16 years, clock ticking... Asked the same questions you did, about how we could continue to travel, particularly in Europe. Got pregnant, had a miscarriage, couldn't get pregnant again, went thru fertility treatments, stress caused a separation, then I got cancer. After my hysterectomy, I felt gloriusly free---the decision had been made for me!

I am not sorry for one minute I didn't have children. (I am a teacher--so I get to see the best/worst of kids). We have traveled the world, and are going to Paris for the 3rd time. And, we have been able to go back to the places we have loved throughout the world several times!

I have had cancer THREE times. My husband was diagnosed with a heart condition 10 years ago. During the low times, having traveled extensively is what has gotten me through! When I thought my years were numbered, not once did I think---having a kid would have made this bearable. But, looking back on my life and the places we have experienced made me realize if I were to die, at least I know I have LIVED more than most.

If you are truly a travel addict, you may resent the mommy track. There is not one person with kids I envy (except for the rich ones who could leave the kids with a nanny and still have tons of money to travel).

I'll only say this, regardless of how many times you have been to a place...everything changes, given the chance to see, & experience it through a childs' eyes. Chances are, you've been missing quite a lot...

Several years ago Ann Landers asked the question..."if you had to do it over again would you have children?"..Well, surprisingly the majority of the answers was "NO".AND I AGREE!!!! There is in one of her columns which I have somewhere what is wrong with people who do not have children...lol...for instance.. they have no worries...they do not have to share a car, they travel sooo much.. and I could go on and on.. it obviously was tongue in cheek..But,I have known couples who made the choice and they dote on their nephews and nieces but enjoy traveling around the world.. The final decision is yours..

SanParis---After teaching for 32 years, I truly don't think a child would enjoy trudging through the streets of Europe.
I doubt very much that they would be looking for or at the same things!

But, I do think a child would enjoy traveling in the United States or on a cruise!

When I need to see things thru a child's eye, I do enjoy taking them on field trips!

parrotmom, so you agree and wouldn't have children if you could do it again? Or are you just a mom to parrots? Because let me tell you birds and children are like apples and oranges!! No comparison! In fact, I hope you are a "mom" only to parrots because that would be sad if you felt that way after having children. I don't know who anwered Ann Landers but I can't think of one person who feels that way after becoming a parent. Who writes to Ann landers anyway??

My wife is also a teacher & has been on several trips to Europe w/kids of various ages. In fact, that is how we were first given the chance to visit Europe many years ago. My daughter still speaks of the marry-go-rounds in Paris. The zoo there is wonderful. There are a ton of 'kid-friendly' things to do wherever you go. In fact, children are probably more welcomed in Europe than in the US. My daughters' smile has opened many doors & opportunities that we may have otherwise missed, had she not been along on the trip. Having kids should be everyones' personal choice, & I fault no one for the decisions they make. In fact, I have friends in Russia right now adopting a boy to bring back to the states as they had exhausted their other options. However, lindam, your assumption (regarding children & travel abroad) would be incorrect.

<<After teaching for 32 years, I truly don't think a child would enjoy trudging through the streets of Europe.
I doubt very much that they would be looking for or at the same things!>>

Obviously, you are missing the point. I have taken my kids to Europe a couple of times and it is really an enjoyable experience. Yes, my kids are not always looking at the same things that I am - that is what makes it amazing and a learning experience for all of us!

SAnparis---I disagree that my assumption is incorrect. It is my opinion---and an opinion is neither correct nor incorrect! We all see things differently!

I am sure parents have wonderful memories of their children's experience on Merry Go Round's and zoo's in Europe. But, in my opinion, there are wonderful zoo's in the States---I wouldn't spend precious time visiting them in Europe. Or, would I go to Paris to see their Disneyland, when the one in Florida is wonderful.

Please remember that it is MY opinion. You may love Mexican foor and I like Chinese. You can't get into someone's head and say what they are thinking/feeling is "incorrect".

My sons would rather go to Europe than Disneyworld or anywhere else. They've been to 8 European countries, 4 other countries and about half of the states. They love wandering around the streets in Europe.

I'm with PAdams. While we've only done domestic travel, my son is more interested in going to the Sierra Nevada mountains, Montana or Maui than Disneyland/ Disney World.