What's the best line you've ever heard from a client?

Example:
A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

When I worked as a travel agent, I had a client call me to tell me her flight times were incorrect. (She was flying from San Diego to Phoenix). Her itinerary said that she left at 10am and arrived at 12noon. She said that was impossible because she knew it wasn't a two-hour flight. I explained to her that Phoenix was an hour ahead of us, so that since the flight was an hour long, you also added on an hour for the time change and that made it a two-hour difference. She argued with me for a while finally agreeing that she understood. Before hanging up, I asked if there was anything else I could help her with.
"Yes," she said. "I know this itinerary is wrong, because coming home it says I leave at 3pm and arrive at 3pm. Now I KNOW that's wrong!"
I just rolled my eyes and once again proceeded to explain the whole time-change concept again. This whole conversation actually lasted about 30 minutes before I could convince her that the flight times were accurate!

One other client that comes to mind came in to plan her honeymoon in August. She said she wanted to go somewhere tropical, but didn't want somewhere that would be humid, too hot, rain, or have the chance of a hurricane. (This wasn't my client thankfully). After she took some brochure's to read, she called us back saying that she had booked her honeymoon herself to Cancun. I just had to laugh as it's one of the most humid, most likely to rain, hottest destinations you could choose in August, and has a very real threat of hurricanes. (I've been there in August, so I know.) We all just wished her well, glad to be out of that dilemna.

I always liked it when you would advise the client that the least expensive outside cabins on a ship were usually on the lowest passenger deck. The next question they asked- "it isn't under the water, is it?"

Good ones Sandy and Sue!
Anymore out there?

A guest thought he was going to drive from Seattle to Hawaii.

I've got another one. I asked a guy "How many people in your party" and he replied: "I'm going on business, not to party!"

You need a visa to visit China. No I don't Mastercard works just as well.

Shouldn't this be under the travel agent thrad? Or better yet in the twcrossroads forum.

Actually - I'm enjoying this one!

Gonna have to remember some of these for coffee break tomorrow.

Please keep them coming!!!!!

Oh boy, a travel agent bitchfest! No wonder your clients have deserted you. You even have to follow them to an internet travel site to continue berating them, woohoo! You'll all be out of jobs soon enough, hehehe.

Yeah, I pretty much had the same situation with the Hawaii trip.

I had a client who wanted to go to Hawaii, but didn't want to fly or sail. "What are my other options?"

Oh, so it's okay for you Fodorites to b*tch about stupid travel agents but we can't complain about the stupid people we deal with day after day.

I believe in equal time here!!!

I'm a corporate agent and I can't tell you how many times airports have been closed due to snowstorms yet my clients are calling and demanding that I get them out right then and there. I keep trying to tell them, "do you REALLY want to fly in the middle of a blizzard?" but they just don't get it!

In 2000 LaGuardia was closed due to snow 20+ inches of snow and a client actually said, "well get me out of JFK then".

UGGH!

Keep the stories coming. These are great!

I am not a travel agent but yhese stories reminded me of last year in hawaii. We were at the Blue Hawaiian helicopter tour company and a man was also there with his family. He said he was from Israel so his english was broken. He wanted to know how long it would take him to drive from Maui to the Big Island so he could show his family an erupting volcano! He wanted his money back for his family's flight because Haleakela volcano did not erupt for him.! My husband thought he was joking, but he was very angry and dead serious.

These are good. Please keep them coming!

I wonder what people would think if the Captain said, "Ladies and gentleman, due to snow conditions, it is extremely dangerous to take off and fly right now. But, I know how anxious you are to get going and how pissed off you'll all be if your flight is delayed, so HERE WE GO!"